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Original poster

rsvp to my twins 9th bday party???

28 replies

xxme2uxxbingo · 23/10/2016 23:54

ok next Friday its my twins boy/girl 9th birthday im going to throw them there first bday halloween themed bday party - we have recently moved school only 15mins from there last school so they have invited some from new school some from old the place informs me I can have 40 children so I sent invites 2 weeks ago and done the rsvp which cut out 2 days ago as I have to give numbers to the place that's holding the party so there is 23 that have rsvp all can come 3 have asked about siblings but 13 that havnt bothered to rsvp at all so I take that as a NO so with the 3 siblings makes 26 - im going to tell the party hall to do food for 30 they do it per child no buffet style and I have done 30 party bags but im scared now that 13 that's didn't rsvp will just show up and I cant caiter for them and to make matters worse because there all going to be dressed up in Halloween make-up plus a few children I hardly know as we just moved schools I cant see who has rsvp and who hasn't so I cant tell them I havnt got nothing for them cus they never rsvp'd :( wish I never bothered now - wish some rude parents would just send me a bloody text its also bad that that 19 of my dd friends are going but only 4 of my ds :(

OP posts:
flupcake · 24/10/2016 00:06

OP YANBU I feel your pain.
DD is having a party and invited the whole class, only about half replied, I chased up some I had numbers for or caught people in playground, but still a lot haven't replied at all (and I put an RSVP date on invite) so I hope they don't turn up because I haven't booked them a place. I wasn't expecting everyone to come but it wouldn't take a minute to text yes or no. I really don't understand why people don't have the courtesy to reply to invites.

WorraLiberty · 24/10/2016 00:07

No buffet style??

What are they having, a sit down meal? Confused

DailyFaily · 24/10/2016 00:14

Sit down isn't the unusual Worra, that's been the case at a few of my DS's parties - we're talking nuggets and chips or pizza and chips though, not silver service! Is there any way you can get in touch with these parents to confirm - Facebook or friends of friends? I find the whole party RSVP thing very frustrating, I think people just forget and I would also be worried that people would turn up regardless

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 00:17

lol no its a party box per child which I pay for seperatley I don't want to order 40 in if only 26 or less turn up I thought 30 was enough now im panicking and I really don't want to tell the non rsvp theres no food but I don't see another option and tbh seen as it was my kids first party I thought everyone would rsvp or on a couple not 13 :O

OP posts:
flupcake · 24/10/2016 00:17

Can't answer for OP but in my DDs case yes the venue provides a meal for each child (sausage/nuggets/burger etc). Or the alternative was a 'lunch box' sandwich/crisps/drink etc. I think this is quite normal if you are having food provided?!
So it's not easy just to squeeze in an extra child that may turn up.

WorraLiberty · 24/10/2016 00:18

Oh, I had a silver service image in mind Blush

Personally I'd go for the buffet option (if available) as it would solve this problem.

Very rude of the parents not to RSVP though.

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 00:19

no its just gone half term so wont see moms on playground and as we moved schools I wont see the other moms and havnt address I gave a friend of mine the invites to give out to the moms from the old school and they defo got them as some moms have rsvp'd

OP posts:
Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 00:20

I cant hun this was the only option to have a meal like this tbh I thought it was a good idea at the start lol

OP posts:
flupcake · 24/10/2016 00:20

OP I went through all my contacts in the end, texted, WhatsApp and Facebook messages to get hold of people! So maybe try that?

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 00:26

I did chase a lot of people up but I havnt got contact for these 13 people half I don't evan know there names as we only moved here a couple of months ago and it was my children who invited there NEW friends - they defo got the invites as I was with my children when the handed it to them but now its half term I wont see them I did chase a couple they said "oh ilet you know" and still never bothered :(

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 24/10/2016 00:30

Thats the risk you take with this kind of party. People forget, or might not know if they are free, or have lost the invite etc etc

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 00:33

I hope that's the case cus then they wont just turn up lol

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2016 00:47

I've been through this, it is so frustrating. What is frustrating about party box meals is the kids will not eat all that is in their box!

Is the box nuggets and chips or sandwiches and raisin boxes etc?

Would the place be willing to put all the food out buffet style and give each kid a box and they fill it as they go along the table? That is actually easier for the venue as no need to pack up the boxes. Not each kid will want to each item and you could, if there are a lot of children coming in (keep count on the door as children arrive or get one helper' to do the same), just ask them to stretch it!

I do not think you will need to do much stretching, some who have said they will come won't (there are usually one or two).

I'd put detachable tags on the party bags with the names of kids who said they would come. Then I'd buy a big bag of mini choco bars and some spare party bags and any who you were not expecting would get a choco bag.

I do not think you need to do all this, I am just saying if you do this you do not need to make up 13 extra party bags and you do not need to buy 13 extra meals but you may feel more relaxed about the whole thing! And you can save extra empty party bags for next year and guzzle any spare chocolate after the party!

Good luck Thanks

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 00:57

thanks hun I like what you said about the party bags just adding a bag of chocolates I shall do that but with the food its just hotdog and chips nothing else lol I did mwntion on ivite to let me know if child doesn't like hotdogs but ive had no one say they don't so I assume the venue just gets in per hotdog n a scoop of chips per child x

OP posts:
AbernathysFringe · 24/10/2016 00:58

Mass email saying sorry hey can't have food if they haven't rsvp'd and put name cards on the table? Check them off list as they arrive.

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 01:03

I would hun but don't have any contact details for the 13 that havnt rsvp half was moms from there old school who I don't see no more and half from there new school which I don't evan know there names let alone emails xx my friend gave them out at the old school before they broke up for half term x

OP posts:
Itmustbemyage · 24/10/2016 01:17

This is why I stopped having whole class parties for my DS's and just went with the invite two or three 'best friends' on a special birthday outing. I couldn't stand the stress of parents not replying to an invitation, then having to follow it up then following it up again. I never knew how many to cater, and have to pay for, how many party bags to arrange as some parents who hadn't bothered to RSVP showed up on the day with siblings in tow as well. I couldn't have turned children away if their parents bought them along it wasn't the children's fault just their inconsiderate parents. I would have understood if it was just one or two, and not half the class, who couldn't commit or whose plans had to change at the last minute, it happens to us all, but even a " not sure if we can manage" reply would have been better than nothing. I just gave up for the sake of my nerves.

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 01:20

yeah I kind of wish I hadn't bothered now but im glad its a first and only tbh ive just sat eya and thought omg what if they say there coming and they don't and nobody shows :( I need alcohol but its 1am lol

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2016 01:22

I'd warn the venue in advance that there may be an extra 10 or whatever.

If it is hot dog and chips and they are cooking it fresh you will know by the time of food how many kids are there. Just ask them to cook an extra 10 or however many are there and pay fr the extra 10. You would have paid for them if they RSVPed. I can't believe the venue would miss the chance of making extra money. After all the hot dogs are usually in tins. I am a cheeky mare so I would ask them to bring some cheese in case a vegggie is there and if hot dogs run out I'd ask them to offer some cheesy chips and bread rolls to the straggles.

I've worked in catering and I cannot imagine they will turn down potential extra cash but then again some places are less helpful!

Good luck.

Original poster
xxme2uxxbingo · 24/10/2016 01:28

the venue would make them no problem its just I don't want to pay for them when people cant be arsed to send me a text ill have a word with the venue and see what they can do but im so horrified that it came to 13 I mean 13 ignorant people :( ok a couple may have lost inivite but most will have just rudely not replied and tbh I need to word this better its not the prople who don't rsvp I think it will be them that havnt then showed up like im some sort of mind reader :( im hopeing im worrying for nothing I was hopeing you lot would say "nobody ever turns up that havnt rsvp'd" lol

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2016 01:35

I think you are worrying about nothing but there you go.

Plus it is not usually children of 9 who are responsible for replying so basically the parents screwed up and did not reply.

If the kids don't come it just means you worrying etc but if the kids do come it means you worrying and the kids get no tea and it is not their fault.

I just sort of think make life as easy for yourself, you were ready to pay for X number of kids, if they come, pay, if not - don't.

My dd is 11 now and the big party thing is now changing and I don't miss it. But I also do not embrase the next phase, the party at home thing! Yikes

Hope it does well.

Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2016 01:35

Off to bed, let us know how it goes!

bumsexatthebingo · 24/10/2016 01:41

Just write the names of the children who have replied on the party boxes and give them out. If anyone is there who hasn't replied just say you're sorry that you didn't know they were coming and cater for them the best you can - the other kids won't like everything in the boxes. If they're not going to reply I don't think they can expect you to pay for a lunch on the off chance they might turn up.

MidniteScribbler · 24/10/2016 01:51

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GreatFuckability · 24/10/2016 02:11

but they might not be 'ignorant' people. As I said earlier, there could be any number of reasons why they haven't replied. least of which is your kids party is not the centre of everyone elses universe. If you choose to have a party where the food is individually made then its entirely on you to deal with the fact people might or might not rsvp.