'It might not have been rape, she might have had sex and regretted it afterwards'

[BravoHopeful]

This statement makes no sense. If you had consensual sex and the next day regretted it, why on earth would you go through the whole horrible experience of reporting it to the police and everything that follows? You would just move on and put it behind you.

It's always trotted out as a likely explanation in 'date rape' type cases. But it makes no sense whatsoever. AIBU?

Yes, just make consent classes compulsory education.

Yes, these should be mandatory like in the workplace.Especially in uni's were everyone is an adult, and able to 'consent' to sex, buy alcohol etc

There is absolutely no reason to believe that just because x agreed to go back to the hotel with CM, she would subsequently be more likely to agree to sex with other men. It has no bearing on the matter. As Datun says, it is a rape myth that consent to one man means consent to all.

*Still, if someone is willing to go off an have sex with someone they just bumped into in the street relatively moments before, it is not that further a leap to think she'd agree to a new man also in very short order.

Another rape myth again, I'm afraid.*

Datun, it maybe a myth, but there are a lot of people who still think is dangerous behaviour.

But CM was also charged with rape at the first trial and found not guilty.

Which has no bearing on the fact of whether a woman was raped, nor does it make her responsible if she is.

We're talking about CE, not CM. FWIW I think CM was also guilty.

CM is a handsome black guy, CE is a Welsh guy from the valleys. Perhaps she just made a choice!

She didn't jump in a taxi and go back to the hotel for an earl grey teabag and complimentary biscuit!

Datun, it maybe a myth, but there are a lot of people who still think is dangerous behaviour.

What bit are you saying is dangerous ? When a rapist showed up?

You are a classic rape apologist, korma. There's very little else to say. You have the right to refuse consent at any time. There's no point beyond which you can't say you don't want to do anything.

And you are exactly why sexual history evidence should be banned (not that it was a factor in this specific element of the case).

Regardless of how many people a woman has had sex with, surely if she was having sex and another man walked in in the dark she would at least ask who he was, or jump up in surprise that the door had opened. The same as if she was just alone in bed she would do the same. That is if she was compus mentus of course.

What i meant upthread was that there was no evidence in court to suggest that this woman would be fine with a man she didn't know walking into the dark hotel room in which she was having sex. Going back to a hotel with someone you have only just met does not suggest this. Not even close. And despite waving 50 grand around the defence were only able to find 2 guys that she had had sex with, neither of whom were strangers or with whom she had particularly outrageous sex with.

And yet, Evans said that when he entered the room she barely reacted.

It's you who is dangerous, korma.

If you are so for womens safety why do you resist any advice to keep safe, she could have been murdered.

She didn't jump in a taxi and go back to the hotel for an earl grey teabag and complimentary biscuit!

Oh come on, you must be able to do better than that! What she jumped into the taxi for is completely irrelevant if Evans didn't know if he had her full consent when he penetrated her.

Still, if someone is willing to go off an have sex with someone they just bumped into in the street relatively moments before, it is not that further a leap to think she'd agree to a new man also in very short order.

Another rape myth again, I'm afraid.

Is "rape myth" a catch-all term for any explanation of someone's actions that doesn't contribute to the "correct" result that they were raped?

If it is fair game for someone to use their own speculatory explanation of someone's action (because I find it unlikely someone would...) as part of their own created narrative of what happened, then it is fair game to at least point out alternative explanations (perhaps because they already did something sort of similar...?).

She could have been murdered if she'd gone to the hotel with a murderer, yes. What's your point ?

What advice would you give her? It's up to her whether she follows it. Then what? Going back to a man's hotel room is not an invitation to rape. Nothing is an invitation to rape. Rape is not just sex.

Its not irrelevant when CM was charged with rape and found not guilty. This brings us back to the effects of a rape accusation on a man who was innocent

Is "rape myth" a catch-all term for any explanation of someone's actions that doesn't contribute to the "correct" result that they were raped?

A rape myth is concluding that a victims actions can account for a rapists intentions.

Its not irrelevant when CM was charged with rape and found not guilty. This brings us back to the effects of a rape accusation on a man who was innocent

Well that's why we have trials. Still not sure what point you're making.

No, a rape myth is founded in expectations about women's behaviour dating back to biblical times. Unchaste women are more likely to lie and they deserve anything they get. Pure women should be protected. That's what a rape myth is, JAPAB.

I would advise young girls to keep safe and avoid putting themselves in dangerous situations, just in case your 'men don't rape' message didn't get through.

And if they don't listen, or feel it's absolutely none of your business how they choose to live their lives?

A rape myth is concluding that a victims actions can account for a rapists intentions.

Which is not the same thing as questioning an outsider's own created narrative of what happened to other people, based on their own speculations of how unlikely they think it is that someone would so quickly agree to have sex.

Is "rape myth" a catch-all term for any explanation of someone's actions that doesn't contribute to the "correct" result that they were raped?

No, it's the default response when they can't think of an answer that's its the mans fault.