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MNHQ have commented on this thread

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MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

'It might not have been rape, she might have had sex and regretted it afterwards'

1002 replies

BravoHopeful · 21/10/2016 10:29

This statement makes no sense. If you had consensual sex and the next day regretted it, why on earth would you go through the whole horrible experience of reporting it to the police and everything that follows? You would just move on and put it behind you.

It's always trotted out as a likely explanation in 'date rape' type cases. But it makes no sense whatsoever. AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

Felascloak · 26/10/2016 10:03

Ah poor old clayton. Look at his continued professional footballing career. His life was ruined. Especially compared to the complainant who's had her name chanted at football matches, death threats and forced to move several times.

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:07

The speculations on your part are founded in rape myths, JAPAB. Consent to one does not equal consent to any other man who might walk in uninvited. Consent to one man has no bearing on consent to another man. It's you that is making that leap.

Datun · 26/10/2016 10:08

korma
Do that. Just don't let that viewpoint slip into 'why didn't you keep yourself safe!'

JAPAB
Your posts are too opaque. What's your point ?

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:10

Of course rape is the man's fault, korma. It really isn't the victim's, despite your dubious views.

Isitadoubleentendre · 26/10/2016 10:10

Which is not the same thing as questioning an outsider's own created narrative of what happened to other people, based on their own speculations of how unlikely they think it is that someone would so quickly agree to have sex.

Surely you have done the same with your 'not a huge leap' comment?

And my comment wasn't about how quickly I think someone would agree to have sex. It was about whether someone who was sober enough to consent to sex would react at all if a strange man walked into the darkened room where she was having sex. And that despite their best efforts, the defence was unable to come up with anything to suggest that this woman was completely used to blokes walking in on her having sex and just joining in willy nilly.

ComfortingKormaBalls · 26/10/2016 10:13

If CM had stalked his victim, broken into her house and raped her then he would have been vilified by supporters, the media, his family. AND found guilty.

Datun · 26/10/2016 10:14

No, it's the default response when they can't think of an answer that's its the mans fault.

Rape by its definition does not involve choice.

Sigh.

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:15

Is that the only circumstances in which you accept a rape has occurred, korma?

Datun · 26/10/2016 10:18

Korma. He didn't and he wasn't. Again, what is your point?

Why do I get the feeling that we are a hairsbreadth away from hearing she was a stupid slapper and deserves what she got?

DeleteOrDecay · 26/10/2016 10:19

No, it's the default response when they can't think of an answer that's its the mans fault.

If a woman is raped of course it's the mans fault

ComfortingKormaBalls · 26/10/2016 10:21

I think its more important to prevent a rape than decide who's fault it was afterwards. Unlike the feminist view that isn't interested in safety, just relentlessly persecuting men.

ManonLescaut · 26/10/2016 10:22

I honestly think you lot are wasting your time.

It's very depressing that women could ever come out with this nonsense. But they're not very bright. I don't think you can 'educate' them.

Nothing is going to change their mindset.

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:22

Nice to see your true colours again korma.

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:23

I'm not sure korma is a woman.

DeleteOrDecay · 26/10/2016 10:25

I think its more important to prevent a rape than decide who's fault it was afterwards.

Wtf? It is never the victims fault if they are raped. Never.

We have been telling women how to keep themselves safe for years. It hasn't worked. Women are still getting raped and the majority of rapists are getting away with it.

Are you genuinely this thick or are you just being a GF at this point?

Datun · 26/10/2016 10:25

deciding who's fault it is afterwards

Breathless at this.

ManonLescaut
Agreed.

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:26

I think it's important to unpack what rape apologist views and rape myths are. A couple more people have felt they could come on and share their own experiences. So it hasn't been a complete waste of time.

ManonLescaut · 26/10/2016 10:27

I'm not sure korma is a woman.

Me neither. But I've encountered other women with similar attitudes, so it's possible.

ComfortingKormaBalls · 26/10/2016 10:27

Yep, you're not interested in safety, just conviction rates.

DeleteOrDecay · 26/10/2016 10:29

So you don't see a problem with how low conviction rates are in relation with how many women are raped per year?

Do fuck off.

DeleteOrDecay · 26/10/2016 10:30

You can stay as safe as you like but that's not a guarantee against being raped.

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:32

You do realise that the majority of rape is committed by someone the victim knows? Do you suggest we are never alone with men? Have chaperones? Is being alone with a man "dangerous behaviour"?

2kids2dogsnosense · 26/10/2016 10:34

Agree with Sugarcoma

Sometimes pressure can be put onto women/girls who had had so much to drink they consensually had sex but their friends tell them they were in no condition to agree (may be true, but often the men are just as drunk). Or a bloke goes off with another girl within hours, and first one feels cheated - "If I'd known that I'd never have consented" etc.

And the huge problem is, that once it has been reported, it is very difficult, I would imagine, to retract the statement if she wanted to.

I know that false/mistaken claims aren't made often, but they do occur.

Rape is dreadful for a woman (and I speak as one who was raped and didn't dare report it because I knew what a backlash I'd get from my (very strict) parents, never mind having to go through the stress of police interviews etc)

Being wrongly/unfairly accused must be almost as dreadful for a man.

ComfortingKormaBalls · 26/10/2016 10:34

I'd love to see convictions rates go up, but I'd much prefer women weren't subjected to rape in the first place.

You are so resistant to safety and education that you aren't really that interested in protecting women.

BTW before this thread dies, I'm female with sisters, nieces and daughters. Your aggression and unwillingness to negotiate scares me.

venusinscorpio · 26/10/2016 10:37

You terrify me korma. That people like you would sit on a jury with such ignorant, judgemental views. You have no idea.

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