Or are my neighbours complete IDIOTS 😂

[Lilianna123]

Another neighbourly dispute, same neighbours that claimed our cat was teasing their dog, and the same neighbours who accused us of stealing blackberries off their bush that happened to grow over my fence.

Well if I hadn't thought they were ridiculous before, I definitely do now.

Woke up this morning to find a note through the door saying they have had a new piano delivered and due to space they were limited on places it could go indoors (not our problem) they are saying where they have placed it is under a window and their view from the piano is a large oak tree which is in our garden. Their problem is that they are saying the many birds nests that are in this tree are distracting and these wild birds are making too much noise therefore distracting them from the piano.

There isn't even a suggestion in the note of what they'd like us to do about it. Not that I would even consider taking any action towards the tree but FFS what on earth are they doing? They don't have a bloody leg to stand on??

Have literally just got through the door to find this note. I don't know if to laugh or cry

Tell him you won't be moving anything and if he doesn't like it, suggest he moves to a more remote area with fewer neighbours to annoy him, where he can tinkle his ivories as he pleases.

It's amazing. What else have you got in your garden that he might have to rest his poor sensitive eyes on?

p.s. And you've got to laugh, else you would cry.

I love the fact that he says he wants to get back on track with things 'at home' - like, whose home? Yes, not his, but yours!

I hope you're keeping all the notes in a safe place and keeping a dated journal of non-written contact. If so laugh, we will laugh with you.

If it gets beyond the point of laughing, then we will support you while you do whatever legal stuff will shut him up. (Or tell you how to get rid of forensic evidence after you've brutally murdered him. )

Your whole family has to spend the weekend on the trampoline. Wearing bird costumes.

Yay for Andy! I mean booo really but excited for narrative purposes. Sorry for your peacefulness of course.

Andy needs assassinating before his big head causes permanent shade over everyone's houses. But failing that, a course of slippery smiles and evasive soothing vocals:'oh yes, oh dear, I see, gosh, indeed. I hear what your saying. I'll mull that over. Quite. Oh well, in that case... Humm, yes, we'll talk about that...'

Then... Silence, no replying to notes (but photographing with date and making notes of each conversation). And more vaguely pleasant noises if he manages to corner you. Never riled, sympathy but never any outright promises or signs you'll do whatever nonsense he's demanding.

And repeat til fade. Until he fades hopefully!

(Twatface).

Methinks Andy wants to do garden swap. Is that an option? You can redesign his garden & he can redesign yours?

Otherwise I'd tell him to keep his wandering eyes to his own area. Just cos you can see it, don't mean you own it!

Oh bloody hell

Keep everything. Write down all interactions etc with him. He really does sound like a sodding lunatic

Get a preservation order on the oak- they are a protected species and you are not allowed to cut them down.

Oh and they a totally barking!

Can you buy loads of that inflatable furniture from the 90s in really garish colours and just scatter them around your garden?

As a serious piano player he should know that light damages it and having a tree shading is a blessing.

How many of these could you afford?

Send him a note..
"I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday. We enjoyed it too. When's your next one please? I hear some people go away for the whole winter..."

My neighbours have a used mattress in their garden. Might be something to consider? Give him something to really complain about.

Andy; the gift that keeps on annoying giving.

Christ! Is it still funny though? Do you not feel like writing a cease and desist type of letter?

Place marking to see what Andy is going to come up with next!

Ah Andy, well he's reliable, if nothing else. And I totally think you should go with boops suggestion.
Please.
Please.
I will come over and dress as a giant bird whilst trampoling if you want. It just has to happen. Whilst playing "the birdie song" at top volume.
Obvs whilst we are deciding on which costumes to hire do all the proper grown up sensible suggestions of keeping the note etc.

We could do a flash mob of Doublemint's suggestion. We could all dress as birds and trampoline to The Birdie Song, for about, I dunno, 3 hours?

Please get a load of garden gnomes, mount them to your fence (all at different heights) facing the spare room window.

In fact, I'll start a gofundme page to pay for the gnomes.

I second flash mob. In fact it's the best idea I've heard on mumsnet (aside from cancel the cheque obvs)

Yes trampolining to the Birdie song for a few hours would be perfect. I'm in.

It's funny, but I keep thinking "poor Jane".

I think this is increasingly sounding like dementia.

I'd be tempted to reply "I'm afraid my garden is none of your business, including what grows there and how we choose to enjoy it. I suggest you look out of windows which don't look onto our garden, and when this isn't possible, that you focus on the things you enjoy seeing rather than the things you don't. Best wishes..."