Or are my neighbours complete IDIOTS 😂

[Lilianna123]

Another neighbourly dispute, same neighbours that claimed our cat was teasing their dog, and the same neighbours who accused us of stealing blackberries off their bush that happened to grow over my fence.

Well if I hadn't thought they were ridiculous before, I definitely do now.

Woke up this morning to find a note through the door saying they have had a new piano delivered and due to space they were limited on places it could go indoors (not our problem) they are saying where they have placed it is under a window and their view from the piano is a large oak tree which is in our garden. Their problem is that they are saying the many birds nests that are in this tree are distracting and these wild birds are making too much noise therefore distracting them from the piano.

There isn't even a suggestion in the note of what they'd like us to do about it. Not that I would even consider taking any action towards the tree but FFS what on earth are they doing? They don't have a bloody leg to stand on??

Where does Andy stand?

I'd suggest it's on the Island of Batshit Crazy, in the middle of the Sea of Outrageous Entitlement.

Population: 1 (plus piano)

Hmmmm...yes on reading further updates OP, it does sound like there is something amiss. Sorry you have to live nextdoor to it. But his poor wife! It sounds like he made her write the second note, and then actually in your presence she backed down as she doesn't agree with him. It must be hell on earth to be her.

If the answer (in their mind) is a few fat balls etc to lure birds away from tree, why do they not set that up in their garden?

@giratina I like your thinking!!!

I think that we should arrange some Janet and Roy round robin letters for Andy and Mrs Andy.
'I hear that Andy has taken up the pianoforte, we must get together when Flick is back on hols from the RCM, I'm sure she would love to to teach him a duet or two! Unfortunately Sebastian is still persisting with his dream to be a wildlife vet despite the chance to work as an intern over the summer on a big game reserve. He still wants to save the humble song bird. etc etc

We could even exempt you from having to own up afterwards.

sorry, have they put their piano outside? Because it will get utterly, utterly destroyed by the weather. That is the most mental thing I have ever, ever heard. Also, when you're playing the piano, how in CHRIST'S NAME can you get distracted by BIRDS???????????

No, the piano is inside (but against an outside wall/window), I think.

No pianos were harmed in the making of this thread.

Well I could happily receive a daily "What my mad neighbour said today" update but poor you living with that! Ignore them, or even better, complain about their piano practice.

I would so love to be in his solicitors' office when he rings up and asks whether he can get a court order that you cut down a tree so that the birds don't disturb his piano playing.

I suspect the clue is in the fact that he used to work in the city. He probably has 40 years' experience of underlings regarding his word as law, no matter how unreasonable and batshit - if he proclaimed that someone was breathing too loudly HR had to sack them or move them to another floor. His former colleagues and minions are probably still partying to celebrate his retirement.

Make sure you keep the notes as proof that the reason he wants the tree removing is because of his piano. Otherwise he will just say it is because it is too close to his house foundations or something similar.

In fact I think you should make all their notes into a scrapbook.

Also I agree with pp who say to change the locks - even if they have given your key back.

I would also be tempted to install cameras on your own property - in case he chucks poison on the tree or sneaks round with a chainsaw.

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me

You could smear fatball mixture into the brickwork around & above the piano room window.

As he looks out he'd see very little evidence of birds, and they mostly wouldn't be in the oak but the close-range tweeting would be something else

*looked out

Tell them their piano noise is disturbing your nesting birds. Either that, or just tell them to fuck right off!

😂😂😂😂 so sorry to laugh but nice to know we are not the only ones with nutty neighbors. But to be fair yours are definitely worst. Feel for you

Screw up note...repost through their letterbox. Totally nuts. YADNBU !

Can you start holding up scores out of ten for Andy to see?

I would get a tree surgeon in, get any necessary pruning done, and then get a TPO.

That way you won't have to bother with permission to prune for a good while.

Your neighbours sound bonkers enough and self involved enough to take matters into their own hands and then sue you if they have an accident with their chain saw.

Maybe send them a copy of the TPO when you get it.

(The piano is inside, near a window that looks out on the tree).

Sorry just to explain, Andy took an early retirement as he simply no longer needed to work. He had a very high up job in the city and is nowhere near the age of dementia! He loves flashing the cash and attention, clearly one of those bosses his ex employees would have hated and I think he just loves being the big man and causing problems.

Maybe just tell him to get a house in the middle of a forest.

Just an arse then. Younger age explains why the handwriting wasn't old-laddish. Were there circle-dots over the "i"s? - can't remember.

He could easily afford a detached gated house I don't know why he doesn't and perhaps he would be a happier person!

Ladyish not laddish - aargh

They're as mad as a box of frogs. I'd go with what everyone else has said, put a note through their door saying their racket is disrupting the birds' enjoyment of the tree and just load up the tree with fat balls, feeders, and the like!

They are completely bonkers OP. Tree preservation order - right now!

Can you start holding up scores out of ten for Andy to see?

YES THIS