Details slightly changed to avoid outing.
I have been asked by a government organization to act as its media representative. It came as a surprise to me, but not to my co-workers – seems that they always ‘knew I will go places’ (this quote is direct from the mouth of one). I was in a volunteer position so far. Now I will be in the forefront.
I will also be in the media a lot – giving interviews, opinions, taking part in talk shows etc. I will have to travel frequently, and will not be at home more often.
It IS a big honour, and something I feel is like a gift from the gods for all my hard work these years. I immediately accepted.
When I went home and told my husband, he said that I have been disrespectful to our marriage by not discussing with him about accepting such a different and full time responsibility in the organization.
My husband is generally a nice guy, but is from a culture which expects women to be seen and not heard (I am from the same culture too, but brought up by liberal parents – am very lucky that way). Initially there was great friction as he realised I was not going to be a 'homemaker' like his mother or sister, but we have worked around it. I own a business now, and we are now closer than ever (or so I thought!).
He is in a well-paying job and is very generous in sharing his money (for eg he helped out a cousin of mine when he was in financial difficulty, and didn’t even expect the money back). He also travels frequently, for weeks some time, due to the nature of his work. But I have always been there at home when he returns. Now the status with change.
He is upset now. I really didn’t think it would matter (it's not like we have any dependents), I thought he would be happy for me. He is, I think, but he is also acting like I have been massively insensitive.
AIBU to feel that I didn’t have to talk to him before accepting a promotion? Should I have told this government organization – "Thanks, but give me some time to give you an answer" – and then discussed with my husband about it all, and then given my acceptance?
Will be grateful for your thoughts.
AIBU?
to think I don't have to consult DH reg accepting a promotion?
theramengirl · 19/10/2016 12:30
Given the amount of effort you are both putting in to your marriage, the fact that your DH 'chose' you over his parents, suggests that at least for a quiet life, you should probably have talked it over with him first.
But it's done, now. Make a diplomatic apology, and promise to discuss in future things that have an impact on your lives together. Don't let this become more of an issue than it already is.
And 
on your promotion!
Thanks everyone for your congrats. It's lovely to read them... it's what I expected from DH. Not, What do you mean you accepted it? Didn't you think of asking me first?
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Like most others, I think you should have discussed it in advance - but you didn't, so that's in the past, and what counts is now and the future.
If you had discussed it first, would he have veto'd it if he wasn't happy about it? Would you have accepted a "No" from him? Just food for thought.
As it stands, it's an amazing opportunity for you and I don't blame you for grabbing it with both hands and doing a wee dance. 
You'll need to have a good talk with DH, apologise for having been thoughtless, and see if you can persuade him to be as excited about it as you. He sounds like a good man, his nose is just a bit out of joint.
Good luck all round. :)
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