To report this nurse?

[TheDonOfWinterville]

Went to visit elderly relative in hospital this afternoon and on the same ward another elderly lady was in bed. She rang her buzzer and I heard one of the care assistants say to a colleague "ignore it, she's been doing it all day, attention seeking" 😳 So the buzzer was ringing for another 10 minutes or so. Eventually the care assistant came and snapped "what do you want this time becAuse we're busy". The lady replied that she needed to make a call but couldn't reach her phone so the caret passed her her phone and walked out. A while later the lady pressed her buzzer again and a nurse came in and said "is it important because we're very busy" 😲 The lady said something about wanting her socks putting on which the nurse begrudgingly did for her. Just before we left the lady pressed her buzzer and the first carer came charging back in, turned off the buzzer, snapped "sorry, we're busy now" and walked out!!!!
So anyway as I left I spoke to the qualified nurse and said I felt the lady had been treated unfairly and it worries me that my relative may be reluctant to ask for her if this is the way patients are treated so the nurse sAid "I'm sorry but when you have buzzers going off in every room, the phone ringing and patients in genuine need of assistance it does get irritating when someone presses their buzzer every 5 minutes just to ask you to pick up bits of tissue or tell you that their coffee is cold. " she went on to hand me a pals leaflet and told me to complain about the lack of staff!! Aibu to actually complain about the staff that WERE on duty?

Particularly when you've peeked through the curtains and seen that Madge is breathing and conscious.

Don't get me wrong,I know that hospitals are understaffed and the staff that are there are often rushed off their feet. BUT....there is small minority in the nursing profession who really should not be there at all. A couple of incidents when my late DM was in hospital,back in 2011,came to mind. She had wet the bed one night,as she was unable to get out of bed without assistance. She had been pressing the buzzer for 20 minutes but no one came to help her,so the inevitable accident happened. The nurse on duty that eventually turned up firstly had a go at her for 'not calling for help',and my DM said that this nurse then said to her 'I've got better things to do than changing dirty bed sheets all night'. She then went to get the clean bed linen,came back with it and practically threw at my poor DM,saying 'You can do it,I don't have time'. Considering that my DM could barely get herself out of bed unaided,she was hardly likely to be able to change bed sheets! The second incident was again during the night. My DM was woken up by a nurse at about 2 in the morning,and told that they were moving her bed to another place on the ward,as someone that was seriously ill had been admitted,and needed to be nearer to the nurses' station. (That's what I thought single-occupancy rooms were for). My mum grumbled a bit about the disturbance,and the nurse replied 'This isn't a hotel you know!'.

There's a difference between ignoring someone and going to check in with them once you've finished with the person you're with. There's also a difference between treating someone with kindness - even if it is 10 minutes after help has been requested, and disparaging someone behind a curtain as nothing more than an "attention seeker" as the original poster described... No one would dispute caring is a hard job (and vastly undervalued) but treating folk with kindness, compassion and respect is surely fundamental...?

Janey50 Well it isn't a hotel is it? A seriously ill person needs to be in a bay which is visible from the nurses station. How can you possibly see what's going on with the patient when they are in a room on their own?

Janey50 - I agree entirely. Some staff are awful. But, I would say the majority I worked with cared. If I saw someone being stern to stop someone repeatedly ringing a buzzer - I wouldn't think it rude/innappropriate.

That patient is going to get optimum care for her condition if she stays on the acute ward. But if she carries on ringing the buzzer incessantly, she'll be moved off that ward.

I complained about how short a nurse was with my dad, when he was very poorly. The staff nurse took my complaint seriously and said she'd speak to her. The same nurse who'd been short with him, told me, a month or so later, just before my dad died, that he liked having his feet massaged with cream, and went to get the cream for me. My mum and I massaged his feet, then his hands, then he quietly died. My point is that that nurse may have been having a bad day, she's only human after all, but she also helped my dad's last days more pleasant by massaging his feet. Nurses work long, long shifts, they're on their feet virtually all the time, and have to deal with many different patients and many diffferent problems. I get that now. Perhaps have a word, but start by saying, 'I know you're short staffed but I'm a little concerned by nurses being overburdened by patients constantly buzzing for them - could it be reserved for emergencies?'.

A few points.

NHS hospitals are not 5 star hotels. Nurses are not there to fluff pillows and change your TV channel. They have far more important things to do. If they weren't expected to do the huge variety of complex and difficult jobs they do in our modern world yes they would have more time to chat and make people comfortable. But they don't.

There is no more money for the nhs. You won't get better staffing ratios by complaining.

Some patients are plain rude. Expectations are ridiculous from lots of people. I recall an incident on new year's eve where a relative demanded the TV on so she could watch the countdown to the New Year. The nurses were more concerned with the patient in the next room having seizure after seizure. How unreasonable of them. I also recall a patient complaining he wasn't helped to wash when the patient in the next bed got top class full attention. The complaining man was perfectly capable of washing himself, walking to the bathroom. The man getting the top class care had both legs amputated.

Finally, in the very foreseeable future none of us will have an NHS. Every fault we have now is and will be used as an excuse to privatise the whole job lot and we will be paying through the nose for health insurance.

I'm not saying OP is wrong. But maybe a little perspective on the bigger picture is needed before we berate the grumpy nurse

YANBU, generally the care by ALL hospital staff, especially in London, is awful. I didnt leave my father's side when he was in hospital because the care was so bad, still complaining about it now to the hospital and trust - and that was in a hospital that is supposed to be one of the best in the UK! I truely believe all this is being done bg the governement on purpose to privatise healthcare. My brother in law works in the NHS and says there is enough money to go round but it is being poorlh spent on nonsense and 'hidden' to make it look worse than it actually is.

Nurses are leaving in order to work agency style and get more moet that way meaning more spend for the nhs.

Did you mean to say "more Moet"?

That's made my day. I left a long time ago but have yet to find more Moet.

Of course user this is what you get once you hit band 8c.....

I expect you need it IV by then.

Exactly what putputput says.

As a patient recently I saw first hand the strain nurses and HCA's are under. There are however good staff and bad staff on wards as there are in all other areas of employment. Some are jobs worths, some are absolutely on the ball and manage people and situations with compassion and respect and some are total shits. I saw and heard all of the above on the ward I was on.

Although I don't agree with how the staff spoke to the patient I can understand why they were frustrated!

Some patients do not understand that their is quite often 1 nurse to 15 patients!! It sounds like that patient had been pressing her buzzer constantly for no good reason all day and the staff understandably felt frustrated.

Until there is legal nurse to patient ratios that hospitals have to adhere to nothing will change.

Yanbu to complain about the snapping. Yes, it's crap for the poor staff but they need to find a work around without resorting to snapping. In no other organisation would it be acceptable to behave like that even if you are under pressure. NHS staff do not get a free pass to take out their frustration on their patients and I say this as an ex-NHS employee!

Yabu, I think. There was a lady next to me in hospital, she was extremely demanding, maybe it was a mental issue, I have no idea, but she was calling the nurses constantly for no good reason. It was a bit frustrating. She told her daughter the rest of the ward ignored her when we had our little chats-she was always asleep!

Saying that, when I was first taken to hospital after an accident, couldn't walk, I literally had to scream to get a bedpan because I was going to wet myself and had been left in a freezing room for hours, unable to move. The buzzer was ignore every time I used it, like twice in two days after the bedpan incident.

I'm a nurse and YANBU. It's not ok to behave like that at all and goes against the code of conduct. Yes resources are limited and yes you should complain to PALS about both the staffing levels and the staffs obvious attitude. It would worry me also leaving my vulnerable relative on that ward 😥

This is a disgraceful way to treat a vulnerable patient - and so unprofessional of the nurse to respond to you the way she did. Her attitude, which seems to be of other nurses here, is that it's ok to be hostile, aggressive and belittling because actually they are understaffed and that's a valid reason to treat someone with no dignity or respect.

Years ago when my son was in hospital, I watched a mother reluctantly leave her very disabled child as she had to get home for her other children. She left him with a toy he could press buttons to make music. After a few minutes one of the nurses came in and switched the sound off on the boy's toy and walked off saying that's driving me mad. I couldn't believe how cruel she was. This child was so limited and was still trying to press his toy, but there was no sound. I walked over and spoke to the wee boy, and told him that the nurse had switched his toy off but I was switching it back on. I then walked over to the nurses station and asked to speak to the nurse. As the mother of a severely disabled child myself, I hope I spoke for that wee boy, and his mother. I never left any of my children for even a second on their own, and have other disturbing experiences regarding nurses and auxiliary staff.

So yes, please please report EVERY incident like this. It is merely the tip of the iceberg, and whilst I appreciate this is a challenging job, if you can't treat people with dignity and respect whilst carrying out the role you are paid for, then maybe you need to rethink your career choice.

CAN I REMIND EVERYONE - SHE WASN'T A NURSE! SHE WAS A HEALTH CARE ASSISTANT OR IN OLD TERMS AN AUXILIARY, UNQUALIFIED AND UNREGULATED. PLEASE STOP CONFUSING ALL STAFF WITH NURSES AS THERE ARE VERY FEW OF US ON A WARD. A WARD OF 36 PATIENTS WILL HAVE 2 ACTUAL, QUALIFIED NURSES. I THINK THAT'S WHY SOME HOSPITALS HAVE PUT ALL STAFF IN PRACTICALLY THE SAME UNIFORM, SO U CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE!

Reddotmum
What a scandalous comment from an apparently qualified nurse! Absolutely,
Everyone appreciates nursing staff shortages but that is
No excuse for the type of behaviour mentioned in OP. In my view ( having previously nursed), it is a holistic approach that is required so doesn't matter much what a patients need is- and for them,
It is a "need", staff need to approach it with physical, emotional,
Spiritual needs in mind - holistically.

Of course everyone deserves to be treated with respect. It was unprofessional. BUT It can be very frustrating looking after demanding clients, especially if the unit is busy and heavy with sick people perhaps she had dementia and a urine infection?. Do as the nurse says and complain about lack of staff, And then ask yourself what sort of world we live in where the health professionals are solely responsible for every adverse situation, if she was elderly, confused distressed where was her family to sit with her and help her out?

Bettybooop25 - point taken about it not being a hotel. But my annoyance was that the nurse could have been a little kinder perhaps to an 84 year old woman,who was quite seriously ill,and was a bit confused about being woken up and moved in the middle of the night.

if she was elderly, confused distressed where was her family to sit with her and help her out?

As I have pointed out in a previous post, most wards don't actually let you have visitors 24/7, so even if you do have relatives to take care you for a few hours a day when they are allowed to be there, the rest of the time you are entirely at the mercy the staff.

Secondly, not everyone has family especially the elderly (If you have no children and outlive your spouse and siblings, for example).

Just like to agree with previous poster. My family member has been admitted to hospital six times in the last year and boy oh boy, it was difficult to gain access to the ward they were on outside of the normal visiting times. I did manage it on some wards but not on others.

butterflies Yes, visiting hours are not always helpful, But this was during visiting hours, you were there. And by saying "not all elderly people have someone to help them" adds weight to my comment "what sort of world are we??"