To report this nurse?

[TheDonOfWinterville]

Went to visit elderly relative in hospital this afternoon and on the same ward another elderly lady was in bed. She rang her buzzer and I heard one of the care assistants say to a colleague "ignore it, she's been doing it all day, attention seeking" 😳 So the buzzer was ringing for another 10 minutes or so. Eventually the care assistant came and snapped "what do you want this time becAuse we're busy". The lady replied that she needed to make a call but couldn't reach her phone so the caret passed her her phone and walked out. A while later the lady pressed her buzzer again and a nurse came in and said "is it important because we're very busy" 😲 The lady said something about wanting her socks putting on which the nurse begrudgingly did for her. Just before we left the lady pressed her buzzer and the first carer came charging back in, turned off the buzzer, snapped "sorry, we're busy now" and walked out!!!!
So anyway as I left I spoke to the qualified nurse and said I felt the lady had been treated unfairly and it worries me that my relative may be reluctant to ask for her if this is the way patients are treated so the nurse sAid "I'm sorry but when you have buzzers going off in every room, the phone ringing and patients in genuine need of assistance it does get irritating when someone presses their buzzer every 5 minutes just to ask you to pick up bits of tissue or tell you that their coffee is cold. " she went on to hand me a pals leaflet and told me to complain about the lack of staff!! Aibu to actually complain about the staff that WERE on duty?

Regardless of how irritated the staff are feeling and how understaffed the department is, to act in such an intimidating and aggressive manner towards a vulnerable patient is fucking disgusting

Totally agree!!

I would suggest complaining so there can be a change in staff numbers.

frankly lame excuse about being too busy to provide care
Do you really think it's a "lame" excuse? Do you think all the nurses on here saying they are completely overwhelmed with work are making g it up and that we're actually sitting at the nurses station flicking our way through copies of this weeks Hello? Have you ever been an inpatient in a hospital? My portfolio is full of lovely thank you cards etc and wonderful feed back from my patients, many comment on how very obvious it is that I and my colleagues are trying to do the impossible and are completely overworked.

u2 I think some people think difficult elderly people all are confused, frightened, dementia, but they are not, some are just horrible.

Exactly.

We know the difference, usually.

My last constant buzzer treated me like shit. Smirked every time I went to them and they didn't need me. You would have to be a saint not to get a bit snappy with someone like that.

A known vulnerable confused patient? Much easier to deal with. We know they aren't doing it on purpose, we know they are scared and I make sure that I sit with those people when I can just to talk to them.

Other patients pick up on this "don't buzz we're too busy " . Had to raise it for elderly family member the other day who "didn't want to be any bother" and didn't buzz when vital piece of kit has repeatedly been left disconnected.

Please complain OP. This is not acceptable. I have unfortunately needed a lot of hospital care in my lifetime and whilst there are many examples of heroic and overworked NHS staff, there are also rude employees who shouldn't be anywhere near a ward, never mind patients. I cannot fault anyone at the hospital where I will be having DS next month, but I have also seen appalling care in another hospital (and had my buzzer unplugged by a nurse because I requested pain relief less than 24 hours after surgery). I was left in pain and my morphine pump was only topped up when the shift changed. It was the worst night of my life.

I worry for the patients without anyone to fight their corner.

sunshine please can you explain to me how compliant will change staff numbers?

I worked in home care as a teenager and I walked out the day I asked a man what he would like for lunch and he thumped the table and shouted 'you bring it to me now!' I think he honestly thought I was his slave. It's accepted but in sainsburys, McDonald's, it would not be.

What is the care assistants role on the ward?

Could the lady have reached her phone/put her own socks on?

Ultimately we need to adjust our expectation of the nhs, it is not a private hotel service. There are no resources for what that patient was demanding, she was not a priority and was wasting staff members time.

A hospital ward is for acute medical treatment and observation, if you require more then friends and family should support you.

There isn't going to be a change in staff members any time soon.

Its got worse since I started and ive only been in the job for just over a year.

HCAs especially are leaving in droves. Not many people want to do the hard work for £7.70 an hour.

I find it a privilege to look after people, I like to think I make a small difference to people when they are feeling ill and vulnerable but I can't do half as much as I want to.

God knows how nurses feel.

This is a difficult one. Yes the patient may be vulnerable, lonely, whatever but she is also an adult and is probably capable of understanding that the buzzer is only to be rung for genuine and important reasons.
Maybe the nurse should have been more kind with her tone but at the same time it is very frustrating that the lady was choosing not to listen to her at the expense of other patients being cared for.

The elderly relative I referred to is a retired ward nurse and has her own share of stories from the 50s of rude (often racist) patients, of lack of food, of going off shift hungry and miserable if she couldn't help people who needed helping because she was so busy. She won't tell the staff she is a retired nurse . Most are great against the odds but some of them are so dismissive of elder needs I wonder why they bother.

What is the care assistants role on the ward?

Obs, blood sugars, washing, toileting, turns, skin checks, some paper work, hoisting, bed making, cleaning, reporting changes to nurses, talking to patients and their families, assisting with meals, getting people ready for surgery, post op obs, chaperoning, taking to X-rays/CT, one on one special care, changing catheter bags, transferring patients, urine samples, swabs.. lots of things really.

Patients and their families do have realistic expectations of the NHS.I frequently feel an overwhelming urge to remind them that we are running a hospital not a luxuary hotel. Although of course I dont say it because it will do result in a complaint that I was rude. I really don't have any control over the quality and type of food available, the problems parking, the fact that their TV's don't work or that the view out the window is not rolling hills and the Hanging Garden of Babylon. I am genuinely sorry when they have to wait to see a doctor, or wait to have an operation or that they've been told by a doctor not to drink for medical reasons when they feel thirsty or eat when they feel hungry. I am also sorry that the NHS doesn't any longer provide tooth brushes tooth paste shampoo or even soothing bath oils. My fellow nurses and I are struggling to provide the basics.

A hospital ward is for acute medical treatment and observation, if you require more then friends and family should support you.

And presumably those without either can just get on with dying (whilst inconveniencing the staff as little as possible)?

I've been in hospital next to someone who rang their buzzer for just about everything and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for the nurses. They do a fab job in my experience and I don't blame them for getting a bit angsty when under pressure.

I work in front line work too (not NHS) and I agree you should always stay polite. However, sometimes it's nearly impossible when you're being treated badly - and it is possible to know the difference between someone vulnerable and someone who just enjoys bullying you.

I think we ask too much of people. The first time they were perhaps kind, but the hundredth time perhaps her tone. Was less agreeable.

In other countries relatives provide all but the medical care.

Our care assistants take bloods and ecgs....

There is never an excuse to be rude to patients. However a lack of understanding of a nurses role is an important part, the nurses role has changed drastically over the last 20 years and encouraging as much independence as possible is an important part of that role. Many people want to be looked after when in actual fact they are capable of doing things for themselves. Encouraging people to look after themselves as much as they can is not only better for their physical health but for their mental health and sense of self.

There are patients who are vulnerable and scared but at the same time there are patients who just want everything doing for them and see nursing staff as maids.

I wouldn't like to comment on an individual situation as I no nothing about it, you were there and if it made you uncomfortable then you have the power to do something about it. There are good nurses and bad nurses just as in any other profession. I have just qualified and over my training I would say that 99% of the nurses I have come across are good people who do the best they can and are kind and respectful. I have never come across one person being rude to a patient but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. The OP could be interpreted in different ways and only you know how those words were said.

Please the poem a "A nurses reply" the line "there are too many of you and to few of us" sums up the situation perfectly. I first saw this 30+ years ago nothing has changed in fact it's got worse.

One visit to an elderly relative in hospital cannot tell you the whole picture. There are overworked nurses, and nasty nurses and also there are some very nasty and entitled and also confused patients. Some people just buzz all day, and if you had 100 nurses on the ward you couldn't service their demands adequately.

In the case of this patient, the nurses did sound impatient but also the patient did sound like a pain if she was buzzing for trivial matters. And this probably went on all day, not just for the period the OP was there.

The stress of the job is immense these days. My colleagues and I are often in tears coming to, or leaving work. You are right, more compassion needs to be shown all round. I think nurses are judged very harshly in general and often wonder if it would be so if it was not so female dominated.

*if the profession was not so female dominated

It's not easy working in care - I worked in a nursing home, and on a bad day, had 15 residents to care for, most of whom were bed bound and terminally ill. One lady was in her final hours, another gentleman needed 15 minute obs and another was in severe pain following a complicated pelvic fracture. Add onto that their relatives and general visitors - and 1 "Lady" resident who had had staff her entire life. She pressed her bell on average every 5 minutes, demanding her curtains pulled, phone passed to her, hair brushed, remote control passed to her etc etc and because she would shout at the top of her lungs if you didn't "attend" to her within 30 seconds, we were told by staff to always go to her first especially at visiting time. So her demands took priority over the care and attention that others frankly deserved more. There is no excuse for rudeness, from patient or carer but some people can certainly try your limits.