To report this nurse?

[TheDonOfWinterville]

Went to visit elderly relative in hospital this afternoon and on the same ward another elderly lady was in bed. She rang her buzzer and I heard one of the care assistants say to a colleague "ignore it, she's been doing it all day, attention seeking" 😳 So the buzzer was ringing for another 10 minutes or so. Eventually the care assistant came and snapped "what do you want this time becAuse we're busy". The lady replied that she needed to make a call but couldn't reach her phone so the caret passed her her phone and walked out. A while later the lady pressed her buzzer again and a nurse came in and said "is it important because we're very busy" 😲 The lady said something about wanting her socks putting on which the nurse begrudgingly did for her. Just before we left the lady pressed her buzzer and the first carer came charging back in, turned off the buzzer, snapped "sorry, we're busy now" and walked out!!!!
So anyway as I left I spoke to the qualified nurse and said I felt the lady had been treated unfairly and it worries me that my relative may be reluctant to ask for her if this is the way patients are treated so the nurse sAid "I'm sorry but when you have buzzers going off in every room, the phone ringing and patients in genuine need of assistance it does get irritating when someone presses their buzzer every 5 minutes just to ask you to pick up bits of tissue or tell you that their coffee is cold. " she went on to hand me a pals leaflet and told me to complain about the lack of staff!! Aibu to actually complain about the staff that WERE on duty?

I think many people still believe in the idea that nurses are angels that we don't have the same emotions and physical needs as other human beings do. That we never get tired hungry hot or want to do a pee, and we certainly never get stressed or feel unhappy in our jobs. I'm not saying this nurse was right to be rude but Joe Public also needs to be a little bit more understanding of the conditions we're working under.
As nurses we are usually in the firing line and have to accept that stressed and worried patients/families are often exceedingly aggressive both physically and emotionally and rude, that many are only able to see their own needs or the needs of their loved ones over everything else. So maybe the public need to understand that when we are stressed and worried, hungry dehydrated trying to prioritise maybe very sick patients, communicate effectively with anxious relatives, administer the correct drugs, provide high levels of technically complicated care and supervise both junior staff and unqualified staff who are often taking on roles that they've had insufficient training for that we may occasionally say something we shouldn't.

I think you should definitely complain to pals. I had to a number of times when I was visiting my Grandmother. Mainly for other patients on the ward. One nurse hadn't noticed me and was utterly vile to a patient including saying well hopefully you don't have long left. Really tried to backtrack when she turned around saying she was having a bad day. There are some very uncaring people working in the profession.

I'm on maternity leave at moment, the thought of going back genuinely turns my stomach. If we could manage without my wage I'd leave completely. It's awful out there. Saying that I don't think I'd snap like in this scenario, but it's tough out there. Sounds like the patients and staff need a bit of tlc.

YANBU but it is incredibly frustrating when you are trying to deliver essential patient care and are constantly buzzed for trivial things. Especially if the patient has visitors or can do it them selves. Their stuff should be put within their reach though. We had a lad once who literally buzzed every five minutes if his 3 month stay. He even thought it was funny to get the parents in the bed opposite to pull the emergency buzzer. We were not allowed to put his buzzer about of reach though. And the other parents in the bay couldn't believe that we were so patient with him!

I'm not against nurses being picked up for unprofessional behaviour but I think you need to ask yourself what you want done about it? Can something constructive come out of this? The management need to ask themselves does this nurse have a history of being rude or was this a one off?

I always thought the buzzer was only for if you'd collapsed or something. When I had DC1 and was transferred to the ward, someone said they'd be along to sort me out in a little, while shut the curtains and disappeared. I desperately wanted to go to sleep (24 hours labour followed by c-section, I couldn't move due to epidural) but didn't want to miss being cleaned up as I was sat in a puddle of blood.

I waited and waited getting more and more upset because I was so tired. When DH arrived I burst into tears and told him they'd left me on my own and God love' im he had a word. Now I cringe because I realise they thought I was asleep and if I wanted the promised clean-up I just should have rung the bell. But seriously I thought it was for emergencies! I was astounded when I heard other women ringing the bell and then saying "what do you think I should dress him in today?"

Even in hospital with DC2 and 3 I only ever rang the bell if it was absolutely necessary.

Arabhorses - I completely accept that and have all the compassion in the world for how hard it can. I am also human, it doesn't mean I get to take my feelings out on the vulnerable people around me. Compassion breeds compassion. We have to stop excusing rudeness - it completely invalids those who don't act in that way.

I've been a nurse for nearly 30 years and my dd who graduates next year in a Business related degree will start on a graduate salary not much less than mine!
I'm top band 6 and had 1% pay rise for last 3 years
I fear for nursing as many nurses my age are now retiring and there are too few training to replace those ( very experienced) nurses who are leaving.
I no longer work on the wards and take my hat off to those who work such appalling shifts nowadays....no wonder there is compassion fatigue in the NHS

A tough one - and very common, unfortunately. I saw exactly this when both my DD and MiL were in hospital. On one occasion my DD had fallen put of bed and was in considerable distress. My MiL was left alone to die, as her buzzer had been removed.

It must be pretty irritating, but much more frightening for a bewildered patient. I do wonder sometimes what nurses and care assistants are there for. Whatever the reason, their attitude was rude, uncaring and potentially dangerous. Totally unacceptable.

Oops, wrong TLA. I meant my Dad not my DD.

Arab, how will supervisor know she has a bad attitude unless they see complaints about her. If it's a "one off" that's less bad but I'd hate to be one of her patients hearing her one-off.

Reading this it's very obvious that most working in health care don't want to see this happening but understand why it might happen and more worryingly most are exhausted and demoralised. On the other hand many who don't work in health care seem completely clueless about the impossible situation nurses are finding themselves working in.
To those of you in the latter group wake up, nurses are an essential part of the delivery of fife tive health care from cradle to grave, you can cheerfully criticise us but if this situation we all find ourselves in continued I can only see the number of nurses declining still further and the standards of health care that we currently take for granted will no longer exist. In the long run like less developed countries families will I suspect increasingly play a role in basic care even for inpatients, washing dressing bringing in food etc because they will be no staff available to do it or money to pay for it.

Not clueless, Arab. A patient myself regularly and have elderly relative getting patchy care .

My DM was in hospital earlier this year in a geriatric ward - she had to wait a week to be transferred because of chronic overcrowding. The first day I went in, there was an old lady in the bed next to her doing exactly this: ringing her buzzer every ten minutes, always for something small like a change of blanket, or a phone, or to have something moved. I felt sorry for her. By the time DM had been in nine days, and this woman had driven the entire ward demented with her constant, constant, constant buzzing for attention, including outright lies about other patients in the ward 'throwing things' at her, or stealing her stuff, I felt like giving the poor over-stretched nurses a bloody medal.

Of course nurses shouldn't be rude and the nurses supervisor should be made aware and the nurse given training and help with her communication skills. But I can tell you from years of experience those who have formal complaints made against them the good ones who've just had a bad day leave, or go on long term sick, those who really do have a bad attitude don't change.
I don't know what the answer is to addressing this particular nurse but I do think we deserve more understanding for our working conditions than much of what has been posted above.

Disgusting treatment of patient by the staff. I feel sad for the people they're supposed to take care of. I would complain.

A considered and nuanced response Glowbug

I agree with Glowbug

I'm sorry Yawn many are completely clueless about what modern nurses do so many seem to have no idea what nursing involves now. I was putting my stethoscope into my bag the other day when a non nursing friend asked why I had one. She believed that only doctors need stethoscopes, it's actually as an essential piece of equipment to do my job as a pen. Increasingly we find we are looking after critically ill patients with limited back up from doctors because they are doing the same else where, or no senior doctor is available so we're working with juniors with little or no knowledge, we change and set up treatment of our own bat, we are also liaising with desperately anxious families of these patients, not only discussing what's happening but offering that shoulder to cry on, as I said above I administer complicated drugs having checked carefully that my medical colleagues have prescribed the right dose, if they haven't it's my fault, on top of this I'm often looking after 5 other patient in various stages of wellness, filling in endless forms, ordering ward stock, answered the phone, when I'm in charge of the ward i carry a "deck phone" and it rings literally every 5 minutes, I also have to ensure up coming shifts are properly staffed with not only the right number but the right level of experience (in my dreams) I teach supervise staff and teach both families and patients. I try really really hard to always smile be friendly and caring, and be genuinely interested in the patient and their family sitting in front of me at that moment. I hope I have never been rude in 30+ years but I know I have been exasperated and on rare occasions probably shown it! I like most of my colleagues I am a reflective practioner I think carefully about my actions at the end of a shift what was good what went well and what didn't and what I can do to improve it.
It is easy to criticise us, but could you do it better?

Such a shame that the old style Matrons don't run the wards anymore, this type of stuff rarely happened and when it did the Matron would have had polite but stern word.

Working on the wards myself is exhausting both mentally and physically. It's easy to have a bad day especially if you've got a lot of high dependants and one person taking advantage all the time. Health care professionals are not slaves and should be treated with respect. Do I agree with their words no but I can see how they got to that situation you don't know what they've had to deal with in their one working day.

I was a nurse for 30 years and from time to time we had patients who literally pressed the bell every 5 seconds to get the staff to run about like skivvies after them when they could actually make a list of things they want doing, get several things done at once and ring the bell less often.
This was almost always in exceptionally busy periods when there are usually much more important actual medical procedures and other things to do. You could not see what was going on in the background. There could have been all kinds of things going on.
When you have sick, dying or doubly incontinent patients to care for and you get 2-3 patients who are doing this every few minutes 12 hours a day which they often do it can not only be hugely frustrating but can impact really heavily upon patients who need a lot of care.
Whilst it isn't really acceptable to talk to a patient like that in reality half way through a 12 hour shift with a mountain of backbreaking work building up I'd probably cut the nurses a bit of slack.

BalloonSlayer- I had a spinal for a repair after having DS2 and was mortified at having to buzz to ask the midwives to pass DS to me to feed him as I couldn't move my legs enough to get him out of his cot, then the woman in the bed opposite, who had been in and out of bed to go to the bathroom, buzzed at 2am to ask for tea and toast

Prompt service costs money. You cannot expect people to care for patients every need when there are so few staff.

The patients are far sicker than years ago. Remember we make people leave hospital quicker so fewer patients are well but convalescing. Years ago only a few patients on the ward would be sick. Some would be very well, many days post op. Now none are.

Would I go back to work on a ward? Not a chance!

I wonder if the people who feel it could be done better would like to give it a go?

Attention-seeking or not, what if the poor lady had a real emergency. Awful attitude from the nurse!
A loved one who cleans in a children's hospital says many nurses work hard but there are some who just hang around the nurses' station flicking through magazines. It's a vocation but I suppose it attracts good and bad.

It's not a vocation it's a profession.