'supported living for challenging youngsters' being built next door.

[getyourselfchecked]

NC for this as could be outing. This is more of a WWYD really. I am at risk of sounding like a right NIMBY and I hate that its bringing this out in me but...
I am a single parent about to move to a new house. Building work has started on a 'supported living for challenging youngsters' development right next door.
Now, I have lived in some of the most gang-riven areas in the country without a thought but in my old age and with a child I admit I am worried about crime, drugs and ability to sell house on. I love the house and everything else is good.
WWYD? Still proceed with the purchase?

This is a genuine post, I don't have many people to discuss this with and I have never worried about house values etc in my life! I am genuinely surprised at my reaction to this.

Woah! As my name has been dragged in... I took Navy's question as semi serious in nature. Maybe lightly phrased but it certainly made me think...

1. How can we discuss certain issues if common phrases are going to be taken as 'ist'?
2. How can we be sure that, due to dialect, local usage, spelling, etc that one person's common word is not someone elses deadly insult?
3. How do we reconcile the differences in perception? Take the word 'gay' as an easy to relate to example: Happy or homosexual?
4. What should we do if one cohort of MN has a markedly different view of a topic than another? Who, if any do MNHQ ban/challenge/suspend?

The ONLY right answer is that we act as adults and acknowledge that the written word is a stark thing. That we, as adults, have every right to be offended, but far less right to be offensive.

No matter how valid your view it won't be heard if you are aggressive when stating it!

Blanche how was I agressive when I said about the pp using the word nuts? Wtf?!

You're excused

I wonder if she has checked to see precisely what type of property it is going to be
Yes she has, if I remember rightly at first she didn't know what exactly the place was going to be but she has since found out that it is going to be a homeless hostel for 16-24 year olds.

Moz... you are owning something I didn't throw at you... I was referring to the whole thread. The same old argument we have been having here... the difference between challenging and 'ism' and attacking it.

I still think English needs a 'vous' as I can see that my use of 'you' in the last sentence led you to think I meant you specifically, which was not my intent!

I find people pulling me up on my language offensive. Everyone finds something offensive.

The OP has had a lucky escape by discovering the use of the next door building before she buys.

Ah right I'm with you. I was going to say after previous convos I though I was very reasonable. Cheers!

PCL It's a long thread, obviously I missed that particular post. I think a lot of the problems would be less antagonistic if the OPs would stop and think prior to posting, as we've had a few titles of threads recently that were somewhat akin to waving a red flag IYSWIM. Gathering all the pertinent facts prior to putting in the OP is always helpful too, but hey, that's MN.

(That was for Blanche btw)

I do not understand how someone can come here for some genuine advice and the thread then turns into a complete farce.

Regardless of some of the attitudes that have been rude, can someone please tell me why the OP should not be allowed to choose not to live next door to a homeless hostel if that is her choice?

Are all of you who are claiming that she is being disabilist for being concerned about what kind of people will live there and how much they will or will not affect her life, can you honestly tell me that if you were in the OP's position you would not also be concerned about living next door to a homeless hostel?

Nope, I didn't say anything about that, to be fair. I just felt some of the comments in the thread were inappropriate. If someone wants to avoid purchasing a property due to financial factors that's their choice IMO.

Oooch! Persian you may just have volunteered to be the cat amongst the pigeons

blanche

It's a long thread, obviously I missed that particular post
No dramas, I don't blame you for missing it as it has been a long thread.

What has been most ridiculous that instead of trying to help this lady who is in a bit of a bind, it has turned into a complete bunfight over differences in opinions.

I mean if people can honestly say that having a homeless hostel next door to them would not stop them from buying a house then I think that some of them are lying to themselves and the others are better people than me.

I have got horrendous neighbours on one side of me now and TBH they blight every single day of my life but that is a story for another day. The point I am trying to make is why people seem to think that the OP shouldn't be allowed to take the fact that she will be living next door not to one family but to many homeless 16-24 year olds into account when buying a new home.

Jesus Christ.

I think people need to step away from this now. Seriously. If a bloody chat thread on an anonymous forum causes that sort of behaviour ^ you're giving it way too much power.

SMH.

A bit of a sidebar conversation, but the equation of homeless teens = disabilities is a simplistic one. In my admittedly limited experience with homeless teens, the reasons for homelessness are complex. Certainly in the group I mentored, there was an over-representation of young people who identified as LBGT, many of them came from homes where domestic violence, alcohol abuse and substance abuse were the norm, or where family structures were unstable and not always supportive of children from past relationships. And a truly depressing number of the young girls identified sexual abuse as a reason for leaving home.

They really are some of the most vulnerable people in society, and deserve our support. That doesn't however mean the OP should be berated into buying a house next door to an HMO if it results in her own financial ruin.

Queen I think that the initial connection people drew was from her initial comments stating it was for "challenging youngsters" as in her title.

There's probably a comment to be made about some posters assuming 'challenging' = disabled/SN, because that wasn't in the OP which specifically referenced crime and drug abuse.

But I cba to go back and check the thread because this thread so does not deserve it.

Thanks Ginger yes I got that, I just couldn't resist posting something to hopefully help people consider that teenage homelessness is very rarely the fault of the teens themselves.

I also can't resist posting a link to a resource to find a mentoring scheme if anyone is interested in either volunteering as a mentor or accessing mentoring networks:

www.mandbf.org/mbf-membership/find-a-project

If you do have the time and inclination to do something to help homeless teens, there's almost definitely a project near you crying out for volunteers.

Mentoring is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life. I'm mentoring young girls from disadvantaged urban communities right now, including girls in the care system - it's exhausting emotionally, but I do so hope it has some positive impact on their lives.

ftw. If I remember correctly, the first mention of disabilities was from a parent of a child with disabilities. But I also cba to check.

Ah, I see. As you were then.

I am shameless when it comes to plugging mentoring. I do it on almost every thread where I can find a relevant point.