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Original poster

'supported living for challenging youngsters' being built next door.

7 replies

getyourselfchecked · 18/10/2016 11:01

NC for this as could be outing. This is more of a WWYD really. I am at risk of sounding like a right NIMBY and I hate that its bringing this out in me but...
I am a single parent about to move to a new house. Building work has started on a 'supported living for challenging youngsters' development right next door.
Now, I have lived in some of the most gang-riven areas in the country without a thought but in my old age and with a child I admit I am worried about crime, drugs and ability to sell house on. I love the house and everything else is good.
WWYD? Still proceed with the purchase?

This is a genuine post, I don't have many people to discuss this with and I have never worried about house values etc in my life! I am genuinely surprised at my reaction to this.

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MNHQ

PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 18/10/2016 20:01

Evening all

MNHQ

PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 18/10/2016 20:16

Evening all
PEACE AND LOVE

MNHQ

RebeccaMumsnet · 18/10/2016 20:48

@Ausernotanumber

Olivia. This thread stands as an exemplar of the pervasive institutionalised disablism that is claimed not to be seen. It's offensive and nasty and really just dripping with undertones of NIMBY.

You really are letting a lot of parents of and those members with disabilities down by letting this kind of shit stand.

Disablism is illegal under the law. Equality act 2010 and all that.

Hi Ausernotanumber,

We are sorry that you feel this way. We do try our best to get things right but it does take time and there are other issues rumbling alongside this one.

We don't want to see disablist posts on our Talkboards. We want to help to educate people so that they're not even thinking in a disablist way, let alone posting anything disablist on the boards.

But we know from experience that the sledgehammer approach really doesn't work - if we immediately take down every post and every thread in which somebody is asking a question but has got the terminology wrong, for example (eg used the word 'label' where 'diagnosis' would be more appropriate), nobody is going to learn anything. We need there to be discussions around these issues, so we can all be better informed.

We will continue to remove any posts which we consider to be disablist, we will continue to delete threads which we feel are deliberately inflammatory, but we're not going to remove posts or threads which we feel are genuine questions and discussions.

This does take some time to go through thoroughly and it has been an exceptionally busy week so please do bear with us. We were sent this link today which we thought was very interesting if you'd like to have a read.

MNHQ

RebeccaMumsnet · 18/10/2016 21:40

Ok, we've been through the thread now.

In all honesty, the biggest issue has been personal attacks - we'd really appreciate it if the PAs stopped asap, those who continue to break the guidelines will be suspended.

As was said up thread, everyone has their own shit that they are dealing with no one here can tell by reading posts on a thread. It would be brilliant if we could all learn to be a bit nicer to one another.

OP, thanks for the thread and apologies it's been derailed. Good luck with your decision.

MNHQ

RebeccaMumsnet · 18/10/2016 21:42

@Ausernotanumber

Why was my post deleted?

Because personal attacks are against the Talk guidelines.

MNHQ

RebeccaMumsnet · 18/10/2016 21:52

@Ausernotanumber

Rebecca mumsnet.

The vast majority of any challenging youngsters who live in the home that is proposed will have a disability of some kind.

Read the thread with that in mind and the disablist attitudes shine through

Can you really not see that?

Yes, we totally can. However, the OP was asking what others would do. There was no mention of disabilities. Yes, as a society we should be more understanding and considerate but the OP's immediate consideration is for herself and her DC, as is the case with most of us and she can ask the question.

Really, we want mumsnet to be a place where you are allowed freedom of speech, where others can question each other and support one another through life's trickier twists and turns - no matter what they may be.

No one here has been disablist. Perhaps folks could have considered wider issues too and that's something we strive for but the truth is that not everyone does right now and every issue is not about people with disabilities, although we do agree that everyone should be considered and valued as part of society. Mumsnet cannot change the world, as much as we'd like to, but we can all do our bit, ideally without personally attacking and shouting at one another. We can help to sow seeds but attitudes will not change overnight and the OP started a valid discussion.

She came here (sorry OP to talk about you as if you aren't here) for advice and support, which is actually what MN is all about.

MNHQ

MichaelMumsnet · 20/01/2022 08:37

Thanks all. This is an old thread so we've closed it now.

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