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AIBU?

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Original poster

'supported living for challenging youngsters' being built next door.

728 replies

getyourselfchecked · 18/10/2016 11:01

NC for this as could be outing. This is more of a WWYD really. I am at risk of sounding like a right NIMBY and I hate that its bringing this out in me but...
I am a single parent about to move to a new house. Building work has started on a 'supported living for challenging youngsters' development right next door.
Now, I have lived in some of the most gang-riven areas in the country without a thought but in my old age and with a child I admit I am worried about crime, drugs and ability to sell house on. I love the house and everything else is good.
WWYD? Still proceed with the purchase?

This is a genuine post, I don't have many people to discuss this with and I have never worried about house values etc in my life! I am genuinely surprised at my reaction to this.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/10/2016 11:33

How dare we care, eh Worra? How dare we keep this in your sight because it makes you uncomfortable?

It doesn't make me uncomfortable at all. If it did, I'd simply hide it.

The point is, you cannot browbeat MNHQ into replying when you demand it.

As I said earlier, I'm sure they will when they have the time.

Meanwhile, the sarcasm and willful misreading continues (as in your post above) and really serves no other purpose than to goad and cause further arguments.

NavyandWhite · 19/10/2016 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oswin · 19/10/2016 11:35

Auser see worra said nothing fucking close to that, like you did with umbongo your making it up.

Now I do think mumsnet has a problem with people being bigoted towards people with disabilities, but In this instance I don't think op is wrong.

SuperFlyHigh · 19/10/2016 11:36

this happened just up the street from my parents house about 15 years ago...

it's a house for 'disturbed/troubled teenagers/young adults'

at first there were a lot of NIMBYS (it's a detached house) but the neighbours either side haven't moved. In fact there is never as far as I know any problems. don't think it's had an adverse affect on house prices either.

same time a street away we also had a house converted/bought for adults who have mental health problems. A few teething problems re they were not always sensitive to dealing with members of the public.

To purchase there I wouldn't do it but don't rule it out. they often are so so strict re problems that they bend over backwards to make it easier for other nearby residents.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 19/10/2016 11:37

Now I do think mumsnet has a problem with people being bigoted towards people with disabilities, but In this instance I don't think op is wrong.

Exactly my view.

FatMe · 19/10/2016 11:38

FWIW, I wouldn't buy a house that was next to anything being built except possibly a single family home, because you don't know what the effect might be.

Which is not to say I would not buy a home next to an existing building that wasn't a single family home (such as shop, pub, halls of residence, whatever this facility is) because you'd be able to see it and know what affect it would have on the area/your home.

That's not disablist, that's looking after the biggest investment I'll ever make.

As an aside, isn't it interesting how we all see what we're primed to see? My DC are adopted so I automatically assumed LAC/care leavers.

Mozfan1 · 19/10/2016 11:38

Ah well we will all just STFU then. We're wrong and you're right.

WorraLiberty · 19/10/2016 11:38

I don't think that's case- hopefully it will just make people more aware of disabilism and what is and isn't ok to say.

How, when so many posters with disabilities and children with disabilities themselves, can't seem to agree on what is/isn't disablist?

Add to that the sarcasm, sniping and willful misreading and really no-one will want to post about disabilities any more.

SuperFlyHigh · 19/10/2016 11:40

I can't believe how many of you are saying about teenagers hanging around outside!

whenever I visit my parents (day or night) none of these teenagers have been hanging around outside - they're told not to do so and so they don't.

Next door is a consultant at a London hospital but quite upper class and the other neighbours are families with young kids (the sort with MIL living with sons etc).

As far as i can see if anything there has been far more done to ensure these troubled teenagers do not disrupt a quiet street. They're just going through a hard time a lot of them.

NavyandWhite · 19/10/2016 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperFlyHigh · 19/10/2016 11:41

in fact in my parents area but especially their street in the past 5 years the area and house prices have shot up.

Ausernotanumber · 19/10/2016 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/10/2016 11:43

I would pull out but only as we moved house because we were 4 doors down from a supported living house for teenagers. It was ok and then suddenly it really wasn't, the people actually next door couldn't go into their garden safely as things kept being thrown over the fence including a burning waste paper basket. Our car was smashed in twice and our door kicked in. One night one boy damaged every single car in the street.

So no, there's no way I would want to repeat that experience if at all possible.

NavyandWhite · 19/10/2016 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperFlyHigh · 19/10/2016 11:46

Dame - as far as I am aware my parents house not next door though - the house for the teenagers has been there at least 15 years and hardly any problems.

In fact a psychiatrist and his partner and stepchildren bought the house 2 doors down from it - now THAT house had rowdy Euro trash music parties with teenagers spilling out - and these were middle class people! They've since moved.

I do notice a higher turnover of flats being sold next to the house with adults with special needs or mentally disturbed (sorry if wrong term) but like I said when I pass there too to visit my parents rarely is there a problem.

OurBlanche · 19/10/2016 11:49

Auser That is a prime example of the overkill others have tried to explain to you!

If you really want a discussion just stop with the puerile attacks.

Post after post this morning, and last night, gave you open opportunity to start a reasoned discussion and all you, and the other parts of we , have done is snipe, snark, show your self proclaimed superiority and shouted posters down!

Why?

SuperFlyHigh · 19/10/2016 11:50

Navy I think it very much depends on who manages the houses etc. the residents do not have to be a problem unless these houses are mismanaged in my opinion.

in fact looking on Zoopla the detached houses in the street with the troubled teens have gone up by 100K in the past 3 years!

FlouncingIntoAutumn · 19/10/2016 11:50

Everyone who feels that house prices would suffer and they'd rather not live next door to ''supported living for challenging youngsters' would you please consider signing against the cuts being made to support these youngsters

Link to guest post about cuts to vulnerable children

If you're happy to post your name to acknowledging that society has an issue, hundreds appear to have, please support that we don't all turn our backs/ wash our hands and make it an even bigger one.

The screaming 25 yr old wouldn't affect neighbours in a soundproofed comfortable environment with forced air ventilation and good support for accessing the outside world. House adaption funding has just about gone, carers in the community have had their hours cut to a few 10-minute basic function visits, proper residential supported accommodation is near to non existant. This problem with disabilities and vulnerable people has always been here but the cuts are making it more of an in your face mainstream issue and creating a heightened sense of antagonism.

NavyandWhite · 19/10/2016 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurBlanche · 19/10/2016 11:52

And that, SuperFly is precisely the sort of information OP came here and asked for!

As she said, on about page 2, she was going to contact the organisation concerned to find out as much as she could to make an informed decision. Not disablist, financially sensible and exactly what anyone in her situation should do!

Pagwatch · 19/10/2016 11:52

This thread is fascinating.

People have such fluid morality and it's really interesting to watch.
theres always a reason for nimbyism.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/10/2016 11:54

as far as I am aware my parents house not next door though - the house for the teenagers has been there at least 15 years and hardly any problems

And we were there at least 5 and weren't even aware it was a supported living house. I have no idea what changed, wether it was the management or a certain mix of kids that didn't work but I was terrified and we moved.

OurBlanche · 19/10/2016 11:55

I am not certain OP can be accused of that... as she is not currently resident. There is a difference between trying to block something from happening and choosing not to move in close quarters with it in the first place.

(See, that is a discussion...)

Ausernotanumber · 19/10/2016 11:56

Purple attacks?

Childish, silly and immature?

Ausernotanumber · 19/10/2016 11:56

*purile

I can barely even see to type the tears are blinding me.

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