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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is beyond weird!?

236 replies

FameNameGameLame · 18/10/2016 08:28

This is driving me nuts and I've NC to post. My DS went to the zoo with his class last week. Came home with lots of stories and a new pencil and notebook. They had a really fun day.

A bit later via the class group text a message comes in from a parent saying thanks to the mum who anonymously phoned the zoo and bought them all a souvenir pencil and book.

For the next multiple hours there are messages from mum after mum after mum thanking this anonymously gifter. Hmm

No one knows who it was. Then yesterday there was a note from the teacher saying thanks to the mum who anonymously did this.

AIBU to be weirded out by this. I mean, why do that? Why!!!

OP posts:
Sparklesilverglitter · 18/10/2016 10:37

why would anyone do that seriously OP let it go. What is your problem?

Somebody brought the class a pencil and book to be kind/nice.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 18/10/2016 10:38

Why would anyone do it? Err... because they're a nice person? They do exist! My friend is one them, she did something like this once, because a) she's nice, b) she's relatively rich and c) she's impulsive.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 18/10/2016 10:40

I think it's a lovely gesture.

The parent isn't glory seeking and it wasn't a big issue. The kids came home with a keepsake from their trip and everyone is happy (or should be!).

£30 isn't a lot of money to some people and if they can afford it, how is it anyone's business?

Original poster
FameNameGameLame · 18/10/2016 10:40

I NC because I think it is so odd that it probably is very identifying to the school - if any other mums are on here from DS class I want to be anonymous. I don't want people thinking it is me who is a grinch because everyone else thinks it is lovely and I'm just thinking its ridiculous. Doesn't she have a job or something to do? Hmm

OP posts:
Pumpkinpie16 · 18/10/2016 10:41

why would anyone do that Seriously OP what is your problem?

Maybe the parent could just simply afford it and thought why not
Maybe they get discount for some reason
Maybe they are nice
Maybe they are kind
Maybe they wanted to treat some children

Does it fucking matter??

There are some awful things that happen in this world, go and get worked up about them. somebody buying the class a pencil and book is NOT something to get worked up over

shovetheholly · 18/10/2016 10:41

I think the problem is that you assume that everyone who is generous is doing so because they are 'seeking praise and recognition'. Some people just do good and nice things because they're good and nice people, and the deed is its own reward.

Pumpkinpie16 · 18/10/2016 10:43

They'd probably think your a grinch OP because lets face it you are and as for

haven't she got a job or something to do? WTAF?? Maybe she's a SAHM or maybe it was her day off or maybe she phoned the zoo on her break and arranged it

You have some big issue with this OP, give your head a wobble love

jellyfrizz · 18/10/2016 10:44

Doesn't she have a job or something to do?

It probably took her less time than you've spent on here discussing it.

Redpony1 · 18/10/2016 10:44

You sound seriously ungrateful and jealous that someone had some spare cash and thought it would be lovely for all the kids to get a souvenir!

I think it's lovely, if only there were more people like that in the world

wigglesrock · 18/10/2016 10:46

Have you never done anything nice or for someone else without letting on? Honestly I find that more "beyond weird". I'm not really sure why you think they can't do that and have a job - it takes five minutes to order/ pay for something online/over the phone.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 18/10/2016 10:46

I've never heard anything like it. Anytime I see 'generosity', I understand it as seeking praise and recognition, but she gets nothing from this and unless like someone said she has zoo connections and discount it must have cost at least £1 each = £30. Why would anyone do that?

Because she's a nice person.

Doesn't she have a job or something to do? Hmm

You, on the other hand, are definitely not nice.

Christ, I thought I was cynical. Hmm

Sparklesilverglitter · 18/10/2016 10:46

hasn't she got a job of something to do what the fucking fuck?

You have some serious issues with this OP

shovetheholly · 18/10/2016 10:48

I'm starting to worry a bit about the OP, in particular about why this bothers her so much. Maybe it is not kind piling in on her - perhaps there ARE genuine issues there around gift-giving that she is struggling with. To be so cynical, perhaps terrible things have happened to her??

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 18/10/2016 10:49

OP I hope you've let your child enjoy their gift (without the cynicism).

dowhatnow · 18/10/2016 10:51

For God's sake, MerryMarigold' , how do you know that the donor does not already contribute to 'a deserving charity'? Have you considered name changing to "MiserableMarigold"?*

Grin

I think it's really nice. She probably didn't expect the response or reaction it got. She just wanted to do something nice.

KoalaDownUnder · 18/10/2016 10:54

Anytime I see 'generosity', I understand it as seeking praise and recognition

Jesus, and I thought I was a cynical pessimist. Hmm. What a bizarre way to think!!

cheapandcheerful · 18/10/2016 10:55

It was you wan't it.

clumsyduck · 18/10/2016 10:55

Wow someone does a nice thing anonymously and there accused of being weird ?

Original poster
FameNameGameLame · 18/10/2016 10:59

I've haven't mentioned it to him, accept said that it was nice when he showed me. I'm just confused by the motivation of it. I'm sounding worse than I am - I am nice and friendly but I always see these 'gestures' as a showing off competition and it knocked me off balance. I just don't get it.

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 18/10/2016 11:01

I don't want to make you cross with me, but why do you think the person was trying to be competitive and do you down by giving your child something? Is this something that has happened to you in your life before?

CoffeeAtLukes · 18/10/2016 11:01

I think it's lovely.

Maybe she was the kid who didn't have money for the gift shop on school trips and didn't want that to happen to any of the kids in the class.

Whatever the reason I can't see why it's weird.

dylsmimi · 18/10/2016 11:01

Lesson learnt - never open a mumsnet Zoo thread! Grin
Always end up confused!
Op - she did a nice thing and treated all the children - no one was left out, everyone had the same and doing it via the zoo meant the teacher didn't have to supervise all the children in the gift shop trying to buy everything they want for £1 !!

I would want to remain anonymous with your attitude (it wasn't me btw!)

KoalaDownUnder · 18/10/2016 11:01

Do you not see how it isn't showing off if nobody knows it's you, though?

Showing off anonymously is pretty much an oxymoron, surely.

Mrsfrumble · 18/10/2016 11:02

Anytime I see 'generosity', I understand it as seeking praise and recognition

This is one of the most depressing things I've seen on here.

IamSwitzerland · 18/10/2016 11:02

Random acts of kindness are just that!

If you are that concerned OP try going out today and performing a random act of kindness yourself.

Go on, bet you it feels great to just be nice for without any urge for "praise and recognition". If it doesn't then keep practising until it does!