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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"My bird"

103 replies

chelseafan123 · 16/10/2016 13:40

My fiancé is great, obviously. But her refers to me as his "bird" and other people in the same way, eg.

"Fred is a great guy, he really loves his bird."

I called him on this and asked him to stop doing it and he appeared baffled and asked: "Well how do you want me to refer to you then?" I said: "Well you know o call you your name, or my fiancé, why not do that?"

He thinks I'm being OTT and making something out of nothing. AIBU to be irritated by this?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 16/10/2016 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

acasualobserver · 16/10/2016 13:42

Are you engaged to Chas and/or Dave? No-one says bird any more.

HarrietSchulenberg · 16/10/2016 13:43

ExH called me his bird once, being ironic. I scowled and said "Tweet fucking tweet". He never did it again, even ironically.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 16/10/2016 13:44

I don't think YABU, I personally dislike it. What I hate more is our regional variant our lass said "r lass" I think it sounds awful. As if the woman is the man's property.

formerbabe · 16/10/2016 13:46

It's a bit of a London/Essex thing isn't it? I quite like being referred to as 'bird'!

Boolovessulley · 16/10/2016 13:47

I don't like it and would pull him up on it.
Would he like to be referred to by a name he dislikes?

BaronessEllaSaturday · 16/10/2016 13:49

He thinks I'm being OTT and making something out of nothing He doesn't get to tell you how you feel about things, If you do not like it you do not like it and he should respect that. It is also irrelevant how others feel about it, if you dislike it that should be the end of it.

OutToGetYou · 16/10/2016 13:50

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or what your reasons are, if you don't like it, he should stop.

I heard James Martin on TV (no idea what prog or if repeat etc) refer to a woman as a "bird" this morning. Was not impressed.

TheNaze73 · 16/10/2016 13:50

It's the sort of term like makes the teeth itch, like calling a bloke my fella.

SansasEscape · 16/10/2016 13:52

Doesn't bother me too much. I grew up in Manchester and I heard it a fair amount. I call my male OH my bird in a funny way to tease him. If you don't like it, thats all that matters though, he shouldn't use it.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 16/10/2016 13:53

Bird (pron birrrrrd) is used in the same way as "maid" down here. You might hear a bloke say it to one of his female friends "Alright bird?"

It's the "my" that might piss me off.

ThatStewie · 16/10/2016 13:57

If you don't like and have asked him to stop using it, then he should. No questions. Telling you how you should feel about something is fairly unpleasant behaviour.

It is completely and utterly irrelevant whether or not women on here like it. you don't. He needs to respect that.

dovesong · 16/10/2016 13:58

All the men where I used to work did that about their partners and their friends' partners. It was always done with the deepest affection but tbh it would have annoyed me. He needs to listen to you and respect your wishes.

ZuleikaDobson · 16/10/2016 14:06

Point out to him that it makes him sound like a 60s relic.

Oldraver · 16/10/2016 14:10

When I started seeing DH in the early 80's, amongst his lot (people and football team mates from a bit of a poor area), you became 'The Missus' once you had been going out for a few weeks.

It did irk

Liiinoo · 16/10/2016 14:13

I would hate this and run a mile from anyone who used this phrase. It sounds so dated and disrespectful. How did you end up engaged to this dinosaur?

lovelybangers · 16/10/2016 14:15

Hate it.

Also, as mentioned upthread, Our Lass. Ugh.

Oh, I also hate when I hear a man refer to his wife as The Wife.

There is just no need.

limitedperiodonly · 16/10/2016 14:19

I know someone who refers to women as birds. He's gay. I keep wondering whether it would be okay for me to talk about poofs.

BalloonSlayer · 16/10/2016 14:19

I have heard teenagers use this term recently.

Then again I also had a teenager declare to me recently "Pokemon Go's for poofs!" so maybe I live in a timewarp where it is perpetually 1977.

BalloonSlayer · 16/10/2016 14:20

Weird x-post with Limited!

Grin
smarterthanhim · 16/10/2016 14:20

If you don't like it, then he shouldn't call you it.

Penfold007 · 16/10/2016 14:25

It doesn't matter what the word is. He calls you by a name you don't like, you ask him to stop he refuses. Not the sort of person I would want to spend time with.

Anniegetyourgun · 16/10/2016 14:25

ExSIL used to say "Do you know why women are called birds? Because of the worms they pick up".

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 16/10/2016 14:25

I can't read it now without thinking of the text message Clayton McDonald sent Ched Evans saying he'd "got a bird".

Ask him if he views you - and women - in the same way that they do.

limitedperiodonly · 16/10/2016 14:26

He won't see his teens again Balloon but he is younger than me.

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