Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Looking after DD

28 replies

cakeface135 · 15/10/2016 18:43

So I took DS out to a party and DH was to look after DD (2).

I arrived home to find DH asleep in bed and DD in her room with the iPad. Stair gate shut so she couldn't get to the bath room or potty.

AIBU to be pissed off and think this was not how to look after her properly.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 15/10/2016 18:45

I'd have ripped his head off like I was a gorilla. I mean it Angry

Whatsername17 · 15/10/2016 18:45

Pissed off? I'd be packing his bags. Anything could have happened to your dd. 2 is far too young to be left unattended.

ollieplimsoles · 15/10/2016 18:47

He left a two year old unattended locked in her room with no access to a toilet?

Honestly id pack the kids up and go to my mums for the night.

How long was she left there?

pipsqueak25 · 15/10/2016 18:49

what was his -excuse- reason for that behaviour ?

PeppasNanna · 15/10/2016 18:49

His reasoning?
Seriously I can't think why this would be ever be considered acceptable!

YANBU

Original poster
cakeface135 · 15/10/2016 18:51

He was tired?!?!? Honestly do not know how long it had been. He says about an hour. I really hope he's taking the piss when he says that - trying to wind me up.

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 15/10/2016 18:51

I'd have booted him out on the spot.

MyGiddyUncle · 15/10/2016 18:51

YANBU. I would be fucking white hot with anger.

Drifting to sleep on the sofa - not ideal with a two year old around but that's an accident (and i've done it before).

Purposefully barring them in their room whilst you get into bed and go to sleep - irresponsible, neglectful arsehole.

MyGiddyUncle · 15/10/2016 18:52

Why would he want to try and wind you up?!?

Paddingtonthebear · 15/10/2016 18:52

I would be livid. It's really, really negligent of him.

JoesNanny · 15/10/2016 18:54

How lazy! I would be very annoyed to be honest. YANBU - that sounds so irresponsible. It wasn't looking after her, it was putting her in a place occupied by an iPad while he was just being really lazy! Anything could have happened...

Original poster
cakeface135 · 15/10/2016 18:55

Re winding me up - because I honestly cannot believe he thinks going to sleep for an hour is acceptable.

OP posts:
ayeokthen · 15/10/2016 18:56

Is he not taking you seriously OP? I really do think it's time you had a serious conversation with him if he isn't. There is no way it's ok to just go to sleep and shut a 2 year old in their room, however long it was. And I say this as the mum of a 2 and 3 year old.

cockadoodledoooo · 15/10/2016 19:00

I have caught my husband sleeping with a 1 yr old and 3 year old that has aggression issues to look after. He genuinely didn't see what the problem was. He doesn't get another chance, I will rip him a new one! But some men don't appear to have the same expectations as us mums (an I hate to point out a stereotype) but making sure you are both on the same page might help in future, even though sleeping should be an obvious no no!

Shoppingwithmother · 15/10/2016 19:04

Well I suppose if he had to go to sleep, a 2 year old would be much safer locked in their bedroom than falling down the stairs, turning taps on, etc etc

DorotheaHomeAlone · 15/10/2016 19:06

Wow. That is really really not on. That is incredibly neglectful and irresponsible. I'd be really freaked out that he can't see that. What other stuff does he let slide when you're not there?

PotteringAlong · 15/10/2016 19:13

Nope, not on at all, and I'm fairly lax about such things.

AndNowItsSeven · 15/10/2016 19:15

But surely your dd is her room at night with the stair gate shut and you and your dh asleep. I imagine she gets up and plays before you wake, it's no different.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 15/10/2016 19:20

I'd be livid too. Completely irresponsible! My DS would have been frantic if it'd have been him and probably injured trying to climb the baby gate.
Could you take the kids to stay with family or friends for a few days and let him stew on this?

Crunchymum · 15/10/2016 19:21

An ipad in bed next to someone who is ill I can about understand.

No access to a potty and left alone whilst someone was dead to the world would make me murderous.

PeachBellini123 · 15/10/2016 19:22

@Cookadoodle - please don't say this is about men not having the same expectations as women or 'mums'. My DH would never do this (we often look after nieces and nephews).

This is not okay and not something most men would think is reasonable. OP's DH is irresponsible.

ayeokthen · 15/10/2016 19:23

I have to agree with Peach it's not a man thing at all, it's a crap parent thing. My DP would never do this.

Original poster
cakeface135 · 15/10/2016 19:25

He now says he wasn't asleep at all just half and half and could hear her...

Yes at night the stair gate is shut but she is asleep - once she wakes she shouts me and I get up...

I just don't know what to do any more

OP posts:
Rockingaround · 15/10/2016 19:27

Shock I have no words

Egoanono · 15/10/2016 19:28

Not on. Show him this thread.