...to think this is the cutest thing ever? (DS and his first girlfriend)

[jayisforjessica]

DS is twelve and came to me this evening to tell me that he has a girlfriend! She is also twelve, in his class at school, and they are apparently "the two fastest at 10x10 grids" which I'm told are a kind of multiplication drill? Anyway, it's clearly significant :P

He came to me to ask me if he could have her around for a "date", and I've said yes. Together we've determined that it will be an after school "date" - she can come over, they'll watch a movie together (from our collection) and then they'll have dinner (he's going to order pizza). DP and I have promised to stay upstairs for this, though it's understood that all the doors will stay open and we'll be popping in to check on them here and there.

DS is SO excited and SO nervous, and I had to excuse myself to the washroom at one point just to have a wee giggle to myself at how sweet this whole thing is!

And just so this is a little more on topic, AIBU in the way I'm handling this, do you think? I sort of figured that if I let it happen in my house, under my supervision, he's much less likely to sneak around with her and do things he's not ready for.

That's so cute!
I think you're handling it perfectly, if it was my daughter he was dating, I'd be very happy with how you were handling it.
I love that you're giving them privacy but not TOO much privacy, it's the perfect balance.

Very sweet, and you're handling it perfectly - space and privacy, without secrecy. My 12 year old niece had her first Valentines card this year - handmade with the tag-line 'Unlike the dinosaurs , our love will never be extinct' .

Sadly, a few weeks later, and much like the dinosaurs .....

That is very very cute! .

Unlike the dinosaurs , our love will never be extinct'.
Sadly, a few weeks later, and much like the dinosaurs .....

Oh that's sad

Aaaah! That's lovely! Drawn together because of fast maths

Ahh that's so cute! I hope it goes well

Imagine how clever your grandkids will be

That is adorable and I love the way you've handled it.

My 10 yo DS is "in love' with a girl at school. He talks about her in an awed whisper and is thrilled when she talks to him. It's very cute but I'm trying to steer him away from the boyfriend/girlfriend thing until a bit later.

Aww. You know they won't even hold hands don't you

That is beautiful

This has really made my day. What a lovely thing to read :) You're doing it right OP, giving him freedom, but not too much ;)

That is lovely. And I hope I handle it so well. It is also speaks highly of your relationship with your son.

This sounds really lovely
Good luck to them I hope they have a lovely time
:-)

This is soooo lovely And love that your DS rates her for her maths abilities, you've got a good one there!

I think supervision level sounds just right, you need to update us during the date!

"Sadly, a few weeks later, and much like the dinosaurs ....."

jess this effing gilled me

*killed me, even...

I think you have done the right thing. Although in this house hold the man of the house likes to fucking dictate and tell everyone what to do. If I had my way and will power I would definitely have done what you have done.

Well he's definitely ahead of our 12 yr old DS who still thinks girls are 'gross' and 'weird'
Hope the date goes well!

"the two fastest at 10x10 grids"

In all seriousness I am welling up a bit at this. This is so lovely.
Make sure he stays as lovely as he is and do not let him turn into the kind of man who has to be better than women at everything! It is lovely that he likes her because she is clever and quick. I love him. I am slightly losing it now

'Cutest thing ever' might be stretching it but that sounds like a lovely, innocent date. Too many kids these days are old before their time, doing things that they are way too young for. This sounds very sweet.

Last year my then 6yo son wanted to write a special Xmas card to a girl in his class. In his very best writing and with an air of utter concentration he came out with "Dear xxx yu ar the most beeyutiflest I hop yu get the prezunts Lov from DS. With several hearts and kisses.

That was probably the longest sentence he'd ever written and certainly came from a place of love. Sadly the girl in question barely even knew he existed (they are 6 it's hardly surprising) and he hasn't really mentioned her again. Fleeting love of youth eh!

OP I am imagining your DS at twice his current age, bringing home some girl you don't like, and you'll be sadly saying "Ohh, but what about that who was so good at maths? She was lovely, you used to like doing your homework with her..."
And he will be quietly dying and going "Muuuuuum, shutuuuuuuuppppppp"

That's really lovely. :)
Whatever you're doing must be working because he's really excited!

That is so lovely - my 12 year old DS also has his first girlfriend they've been on a couple of 'dates' and to each other's houses. The first date was the cinema and cost me a fortune as he insisted on VIP seats . I did relent as it was the first date ever for both of them and I really wanted it to be a lovely memory

It's just so sweet, they're a really good influence on each other and she's a lovely girl.

Daaaaooooow that is lovely!

Do you have the girl's mum's phone number to have a wee confab?

Sounds like a great balance! And good to start being accepting of his 'love interests' now and being supportive. Hopefully in the future he will still come to you because you are supportive and accepting.
My parents used to tease me (and get my older siblings in on it) if I so much as mentioned I have a male friend. My oldest sibling used to sneak out and have 'relations' in very unsafe places (eg graveyards, woods, disused buildings) with various people and it think it's partly to do with the taboo of sex talk at home. My parents never sat us down for the talk.
Older siblings have more than one child each and started at a young age (before 20).
My DP had a good relationship with his parents (mainly mum) and they talked about safety, not just in terms of STDs but whereabouts and emotional etc. It rubbed off on me as he was my first sexual partner and we are still together. I didn't expect that! haha