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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think this is the cutest thing ever? (DS and his first girlfriend)

57 replies

jayisforjessica · 14/10/2016 12:38

DS is twelve and came to me this evening to tell me that he has a girlfriend! She is also twelve, in his class at school, and they are apparently "the two fastest at 10x10 grids" which I'm told are a kind of multiplication drill? Anyway, it's clearly significant :P

He came to me to ask me if he could have her around for a "date", and I've said yes. Together we've determined that it will be an after school "date" - she can come over, they'll watch a movie together (from our collection) and then they'll have dinner (he's going to order pizza). DP and I have promised to stay upstairs for this, though it's understood that all the doors will stay open and we'll be popping in to check on them here and there.

DS is SO excited and SO nervous, and I had to excuse myself to the washroom at one point just to have a wee giggle to myself at how sweet this whole thing is!

And just so this is a little more on topic, AIBU in the way I'm handling this, do you think? I sort of figured that if I let it happen in my house, under my supervision, he's much less likely to sneak around with her and do things he's not ready for.

OP posts:
OhSoggyBiscuit · 14/10/2016 14:19

That is so cute! aah to be 12 again..

Tatlerer · 14/10/2016 14:22

Thanks for posting OP, it's really put a smile on my face. You must have a lovely relationship for him to have come up to you like that. I'd have been mortified about telling my parents and even more terrified about the prospect of my intended coming round!

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 14/10/2016 14:22

lovely :)

OvO · 14/10/2016 14:24

Very very sweet. Grin

My DS1 is 12 next month and has a girlfriend too. Though he hasn't seen her in person since they started 'dating' as she's been away having medical treatment. It's all been texts and FaceTime via a mutual friend!

He's been asking me where he can take her when she's eventually home, and what can he buy her for her birthday. It's all very innocent and sweet. They are in P7 so still primary school, so the whole class is still pretty much clueless about the whole 'going out with someone' thing. Grin

SnugglySnerd · 14/10/2016 14:24

Awww how lovely. I remember being that age and going on a double date to see Jurassic Park. It was very exciting getting ready and everything!

itwillbegrandsure · 14/10/2016 14:25

That is so so cute! Put a big smile on my face! Smile
I think you're handling it perfectly! Do let us know how it goes!

imnervous · 14/10/2016 14:25

I recently suggested to my 12 year old that he could invite a girl round here for tea etc and he was ShockConfusedShockConfusedShockConfusedShockConfusedShockConfused

LauraMipsum · 14/10/2016 14:46

That has brought back a memory of a "date" I had at 12 with a boy I danced with (opposite, we didn't touch or anything) at the school disco. He came round for dinner. He wanted to play chess and threw an epic tantrum when he lost. Then I got my electronics circuit set out and he threw an epic tantrum when I was better at it than him (I'd had practice!) Then he threw another epic tantrum when dinner wasn't something he liked - as this was a "date" not a playdate his mum hadn't phoned to let my mum know that his food repertoire included fish fingers and not much else.

Then he wanted me to come round to his for another date. I said no and had to get my mum to answer the phone for the rest of the term Grin

I hope your DS's date goes much much better than mine did back in the dawns of time, OP!

TeamEponine · 14/10/2016 14:57

I remember my first "date" at about the same age. We went out for pizza. My mum gave us £20 to pay for it ourselves, and she sat on a table on the other side of the resturant eating pizza on her own, problably trying to control the giggles! I felt so grown up!

TheTroutofNoCraic · 14/10/2016 15:33

Adorable. This is exactly how I would handle it also.

elliejjtiny · 14/10/2016 16:09

That's so lovely. I remember my first date. He took me to Mcdonalds and then the cinema to see Titanic. I've still got the cinema ticket Grin.

Original poster
jayisforjessica · 14/10/2016 19:55

I am in contact with her mother :) That's what I meant when I said "together we have determined" but it was late last night when I posted so I may not have been very clear.

Thank you all for your kind words, both about my handling of the situation, and about DS and his taste in women! I AM glad he's come to me with this, but I've tried to be the kind of parent it's easy to come to, and I guess this is my reward. (He is a bit of a mama's boy, I have to admit...)

OP posts:
JigokuShojou · 15/10/2016 16:04

My young cousin, when he was in nursery, had the entire female student body (of said nursery) as girlfriends.

He also flirted with the female classmates at the Chinese school we attended together. His dad was watching him from the other side of the classroom door and my cousin shooed his dad away because he didn't want any interference in his wooing of his classmates.

PatMullins · 15/10/2016 16:09

That's very sweet Smile
You are handling that perfectly.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 15/10/2016 16:12

I wouldn't necessarily set a precedent of sitting upstairs as no doubt this is the first of many and you don't want to be stuck in your room for the rest of your life. But apart from that, yes - officially the cutest thing ever.

The dinosaurs card made me chortle too.

birdsdestiny · 15/10/2016 16:16

When I was about 9 , I was asked out by a boy in my class. He asked me if I knew why he had asked me , I waited to hear his romantic declaration. ' it's because our names are next to each other in the register'. Story of my life really.
I hope he has funSmile

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 15/10/2016 16:40

Very well handled Jay, that is just so sweet 😍

GiveMeRitz · 15/10/2016 16:44

That is just so lovely........

( GiraffesAndButterflies so true!Grin)

CockacidalManiac · 15/10/2016 16:44

Also have a smile on my face at this.

GrumpyOldBag · 15/10/2016 16:51

Very sweet, but don't be surprised if things start to move quickly and get more serious.

Ds is 14 and started in a similar way when he was 12. He had one gf who lasted for 8 months, he's now on his 3rd 'relationship' with a girl from a different school & I've never even met her parents!

StarDiamonds · 15/10/2016 17:08

I love the sound of it... and it is cute... but do 12 year olds really have "dates" at parents houses these days?? (even I know innocent ones with movie and pizza?) Gosh 12 sounds so young for dates with the opposite sex (yes I know innocent etc but it just sounds sooo young!)

youarenotkiddingme · 15/10/2016 17:27

Awwww that is so sweet!

And yes I think you've handled it brilliantly. You've respected his wish to 'date' and given him enough space and privacy. I love they've connected over maths grids!

My 12yo DS is autistic and knows about 3 kids in his years names - if he ever talks to anyone I hope I'll be as cool mum as you!

Mildred007 · 15/10/2016 22:56

Love this!

MsInterpret · 15/10/2016 23:31

Very sweet! Can't wait to hear how it all goes. he sounds like a lovely lad and in awe of your great relationship, hoping can have the same with mine... Smile

Tigerstar123 · 15/10/2016 23:38

Aah, op, this is one of the cutest things I've read in a long time. So sweet!
Please keep us posted as to how it all goes! Xxx

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