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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Passive / Agressive Leaving Gift

138 replies

MadamCantona · 13/10/2016 23:37

I used to work in a very male environment; the type of place where the testosterone was so heavy I started to grow a beard and most other females worked in an admin capacity.
I don't want to sound ungrateful (a theme that follows throughout this post) but I hate any leaving 'do' that involves me and tried to exit this role with as least fuss as possible. My leaving gifts were what you would expect from a load of men who chuck money at a problem at the last minute; massive flowers, chocolates and a gift card; obviously all women love chocolate and can easily manipulate a huge bouquet on the Tube whilst heavily pregnant (see what I mean about sounding ungrateful?). However, I know my ex-boss would have relegated the tedious task to his PA, a Lady - who I could not get on with at any level, despite doing all the usual when I started - why don't we do coffee/ lunch / drinks? Offering to help with business and social events etc.
I've just opened the gift card - it's a Cowshed gift card - lovely, you might say. However, it can only be redeemed in store - not online - and I have no idea what the value is so reluctant to re-gift and pass any possible 'schlep' on. I do wonder about the message of the card; 'Cow' being the operative word and that she must have gone out of her way to purchase it!

OP posts:
Feir · 15/10/2016 19:54

Is anyone else reeeeeeally curious as to how much the voucher was for?

Balanced12 · 15/10/2016 20:00

Yup, come on OP see how much it is for if it's 1p you get to say I told you all they were awful !

PinkLilac · 15/10/2016 20:12

I'm afraid I don't agree. I don't think YABU. Cowshed products are nice but I wouldn't give them to anyone unless I knew them well. Who wants to receive a gift from work called Grumpy Cow, Grubby Cow, Dirty Cow etc.

Advicewouldbelovelyta · 15/10/2016 21:02

Feir
That's literally all I'm reading through for lol curiosity

elodie2000 · 15/10/2016 21:12

Yesterday 07:31 Catsize At least it wasn't a Fat Face voucher...
You beat me to it!!
My DH gave me a FF gift card for my B'day. I should have LTB!! Grin

NoFucksImAQueen · 15/10/2016 21:50

Come on op how much is it for?

Advicewouldbelovelyta · 16/10/2016 12:15

Nofucks- maybe it turned out to be really generous and she's now embarrassed lol

1wokeuplikethis · 16/10/2016 13:42

OP does not like the passive aggressive tone of these responses. She has vanished because her head exploded.

TheFullMinty · 16/10/2016 18:50

Yeah I don't think the OP is coming back, the stealth advertising has been done Hmm

RoseGoldHippie · 16/10/2016 18:56

I don't know why but I neeeeeed to know how much is on the gift card! Please come back and tell us OP

ChocolateWombat · 16/10/2016 19:57

Oh for goodness sake, it'll be for a standard and perfectly acceptable amount. Sorry to say, but I doubt the colleagues gave enough thougt to it all to plan a passive aggressive attack, but just bunged fivers into an envelope. You'd have to really and actively dislike someone and be pretty unpleasant to give a pregnant woman who was leaving , a gift card for a tiny offensive amount. Whilst the OP might not have been best mates with her colleagues, there's no indication that she was hated, thank goodness.

I hope the OP rings Cowshed to find out the amount and regardless of the amount is pleased and finds an item or treatment she can enjoy and really does enjoy it. I hope she doesn't analyse the amount as much as some people on this thread are - whether £25 'isn't enough ' type thing. I just hope she can take it for what it is - a token gift to someone having a baby, and that the exact amount doesn't really matter. And I hope she is able to send an appreciative card to her office to thank them for their gifts. And I hope that once the hormones calm down, she gets a bit more perspective on all this and it recedes in importance, when she has her lovely baby in her arms.

Isn't it usually best to try and leave situations on good terms with people and without feeling bitter? She may need to return to work, or want a reference or come into contact with some of them again....whatever's the case, bitterness does tend to eat up the person who feels like that....much better for the OP to get beyond feeling like this.

Catsize · 16/10/2016 21:00

Sorry elodie [blish]

If it's any consolation, Elodie is one of my favourite names. Grin

Catsize · 16/10/2016 21:00

Blish blash blosh Blush

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