Passive / Agressive Leaving Gift

[MadamCantona]

I used to work in a very male environment; the type of place where the testosterone was so heavy I started to grow a beard and most other females worked in an admin capacity.
I don't want to sound ungrateful (a theme that follows throughout this post) but I hate any leaving 'do' that involves me and tried to exit this role with as least fuss as possible. My leaving gifts were what you would expect from a load of men who chuck money at a problem at the last minute; massive flowers, chocolates and a gift card; obviously all women love chocolate and can easily manipulate a huge bouquet on the Tube whilst heavily pregnant (see what I mean about sounding ungrateful?). However, I know my ex-boss would have relegated the tedious task to his PA, a Lady - who I could not get on with at any level, despite doing all the usual when I started - why don't we do coffee/ lunch / drinks? Offering to help with business and social events etc.
I've just opened the gift card - it's a Cowshed gift card - lovely, you might say. However, it can only be redeemed in store - not online - and I have no idea what the value is so reluctant to re-gift and pass any possible 'schlep' on. I do wonder about the message of the card; 'Cow' being the operative word and that she must have gone out of her way to purchase it!

[waitingforsomething]

You sound really massively ungrateful and difficult op. Sorry you didn't like your gifts but I think they are very nice. I got similar leaving gifts when I left my last job, also from a group of men. I thought they did pretty well and I was very grateful that they'd got me something. It is a very strange interpretation of a perfectly normal set of gifts.

[purplefox]

You really need to get a grip. What exactly were you expecting for a leaving present?

[BadLad]

BadLad - the Cowshed range already features something called Grumpy Cow which someone bought me saying "at least I know you'd like the bottle"

Brilliant. I reckon a clothing chain called Cat's Bum Face could do pretty well as well.

[phillipp]

I can't see how any of the gifts are passive or aggressive

[mathanxiety]

The PA sounds quite nice and someone you might have been able to benefit from having on your side in your work environment. Why couldn't you get on with her?

As a rule of thumb, I would always stay on the right side of PAs.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

You're coming across as rather ungrateful.

This.

Apart from the fact I would say very not rather.

[Only1scoop]

Blimey you can't have been very busy lately to have given your gift so much head space.
Weird

[MissMargie]

Well it may have been PA if she's always had 'issues' with you - possibly envious or whatever of you, so she is unlikely to put effort into your leaving gift. Who cares, it's irrelevant.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

That's hilarious!

YANBU, obviously, but you have to try to see the funny side of it, no?

[greenfolder]

Thank you are the words you are looking for.

[NotYoda]

I think this isn't the sort of thing that goes down well in AIBU, as people are not likely to believe your interpretation, and there's no worse fault than ingratitude

[CatMom75]

I think people have been a little harsh with you OP...common feature on AIBU.

When you know somebody doesn't like you it's very easy to read too much into things (we don't know all the background) plus you're hormonal!

However by the sounds of it Cowshed do some lovely maternity products (I think they have spas too?!) so perhaps on this occasion you perhaps are being slightly over paranoid. They've put their money together for you so be happy that they thought enough to go to the effort.

But like someone else said, if your not being paranoid then just enjoy the gift and take satisfaction out of the fact that she/they've paid for your enjoyment :) but concentrate on your pregnancy and don't give it a second thought!

[kiwiscantfly]

I had a pedicure at cowshed around eight years ago and it was pretty nice then! Don't overthink it.

[VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice]

Where's OP?

[Guavaf1sh]

YABU- ungrateful

[Ankleswingers]

Blimey, how ungrateful are you?

Be thankful that they got you something and remember to say thank you.

YABVU

[Tuktuktaker]

Cowshed stuff is gorgeous, I hope you manage to take advantage of the gift card yourself. The only Cowshed "spa" I know of is in the Virgin Lounge at Heathrow, though, which could be difficult for you to access!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth!

[PorridgeHoneyCake]

YABU. Enjoy the gift.

OP, I do hope you can look back at this and laugh at how pregnancy hormones messed with your brain so much that you thought a lovely and appropriate present for a pregnant lady was passive aggressive.

[JustSpeakSense]

It doesn't sound like you'd have been happy with anything tbh.

I fail to see how these gifts were passive aggressive....how odd.

[MrsArthurShappey]

Ok, you know you're being ungrateful and unreasonable. You're pregnant, and now not working, so are hormonal and possibly have more time than usual to think about things. You said yourself you didn't get on with this woman - would you have hunted high and low for the perfect gift for her if the roles were reversed, or would you have got some flowers, chocolate and a random gift card? Now I've googled cowshed, I actually think this isn't a random gift card but something lovely to give an expectant mother. She probably thought you'd appreciate a bit of pampering.

[EsmesBees]

I love Cowshed stuff and think it's a lovely present. They do great maternity massages. If you really cannot get to a store then why not try and see the voucher on? Give them a call and find out the value and expiry and then pop on FB or similar.

[clumsyduck]

You are being a teeny weeny bit ungrateful and possibly over thinking !

However let's remember op is pregnant . I once cried because my sandwich fell to bits at 9 months pregnant . Fucking hormones

[EsmesBees]

Sell the voucher on, is what the above should read!

[BigApple11]

Is this a stealthy advert????

[Catsize]

At least it wasn't a Fat Face voucher...