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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to tell this adult stranger to say please?

38 replies

PinkyOfPie · 12/10/2016 20:39

We live on a new-ish estate and the door numbers are confusing as they don't go up in odds/evens and there's lots of hidden cul-de-sacs randomly numbered, so we get a lot of confused drivers asking where a certain number house is and I'm always happy to help.

Tonight was on the driveway getting DD out the car and a bloke pulled up in a car, wound his window down and shouted "Number 11!" At me. I was a bit Confused and thought I misheard, so I went up to his window and said "sorry?" And he said slowly and quite patronisingly "Number 11?".

Now I'm guessing he was frustrated at not finding the house and was therefore a bit moody but one of my huge bugbears is adults who don't say please and thank you, it (unreasonably) gives me the rage. So I replied "I think the word you're looking for is please". He rolled his eyes and said "whatever" and drove off.

I thought he was being a nob. DH said I was making a fuss over nothing and should have just told him where the house was and accepted that some people are just rude.

OP posts:
QOD · 12/10/2016 20:41

Yanbu

He's a knob

TheWitTank · 12/10/2016 20:41

Yeah, he was a knob. Hope he had to drive around for ages to find number 11.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 12/10/2016 20:42

I would have replied no, assuming he was asking if you were number 11 rather than where it was. But manners cost nothing and lack of them bugs me so I don't think you're wholly unreasonable, just that you could have been a little more pilot.

Original poster
PinkyOfPie · 12/10/2016 20:42

Wit I actually regret not sending him to the wrong cul-de-sac Grin

OP posts:
Minisoksmakehardwork · 12/10/2016 20:42

*polite

Nishky · 12/10/2016 20:43

I would have given him detailed directions- to the wrong place.

PotatoBread · 12/10/2016 20:43

YANBU. Knob. Double knob for using the phrase 'whatever' like a moody teenager Grin

mysistersimone · 12/10/2016 20:44

YANBU

Yoarchie · 12/10/2016 20:44

Yes you are right he was a complete nob.

However, from a self preservation perspective you would do better not to tell an adult stranger to say please because some people already predisposed to nob behaviour might then punch you.

I've lived with someone violent. I tend to be very careful about not doing things that could piss off such a person.

museumum · 12/10/2016 20:44

I'd have said "no, I'm number 27" or "what about number 11?"
He was rude.

Original poster
PinkyOfPie · 12/10/2016 20:46

Yoarchie that's exactly what DH said, he thinks it's fine to confront people, but not for me to do it in case I get punched 🙄 Have never been punched in my life (except aged 18 in a case of mistaken identity in a chippy but that's another story)

OP posts:
abbsismyhero · 12/10/2016 20:47

i would have said nope im abbs have you tried checking the numbers on the houses? >helpful smile< i did automatically correct a teen the other week pulled them right up on their lack of manners turned around and realised it wasn't my teen it was someone else's Blush

LouisvilleLlama · 12/10/2016 20:51

I think it's rude, but it's commonplace and the norm now, atleast where I live. Many times when I say please, thank you, good morning etc it's often met with surprise.

I do think you were also rude though, I agree he could have been asking if you were number 11? To which you replied " i think the word you are looking for is please"

But I don't think there is many ways to reply that aren't to get across what you wanted to

bigbluebus · 12/10/2016 20:53

In the absence of a proper question i would have just shouted another random number back at him.
On a whole other issue, why do developers number houses in such a ridiculous manner meaning no one can find the houses. Man in white van stopped outside my house the other day and shouted across to ask where a particular house was - couldn't hear if he was saying 14 or 40. Once I established the right number I directed him to the correct house, which doesn't even front our road even though it shares our street in it's address. Delivery drivers are often seen to be cruising up and down our street trying to figure out the numbering - and most of the houses have only been up for 3 years.

SuramarMom · 12/10/2016 20:54

I hope yanbu because I do this Grin

I'm not stopping through fear I might get punched either. Manners cost nothing. Punching will land you in the station (at least for a little while)

DaffodilsAreMyFav · 12/10/2016 20:57

Your answer was spot on.

Original poster
PinkyOfPie · 12/10/2016 20:58

Louis our house is clearly numbered and visible he definitely didn't mistake us for number 11.

big I totally agree we usually get delivery drivers or dominoes pizza people confused and I don't blame them, there's no sense to any of the numbers. At one point number 45 is adjacent to number 70 Confused we reckon the developers were pissed when they decided which house would be which!

OP posts:
Wooftweetwooftweet · 12/10/2016 20:58

This is almost exaclty what happened me in the gym changing room. A woman approached me saying "toilets?"
She was with a gaggle of women in their 60s getting all glammed up for a night out and the cockiness seemed to get to her head.
I tried my first death stare and didn't answer. Felt good.

Gabilan · 12/10/2016 21:12

"It's between 10 and 12"

Then just walk off. But I am unhelpful. And sarcastic.

kaitlinktm · 12/10/2016 21:14

I usually get them as they don't say thank you. "No, please don't mention it" I say as they walk off without saying thanks

bertsdinner · 12/10/2016 21:19

I was in our lift at work, and this woman got in, looked at me and said "4th floor". I just ignored her, she gave me a death stare (ignored that, too), and jabbed the button with her finger. If she'd said please I would have pressed it.
That guy sounds like a rude dick.

sonlypuppyfat · 12/10/2016 21:21

I used to work in a shop if they didn't say thank you I used to shout Your Welcome, I hate bad manners

Chippednailvarnishing · 12/10/2016 21:26

bertsdinner
I would have pressed the button for the 4th floor and every other floor available...

justilou · 13/10/2016 11:56

Three words...
Good... For... You!
So impressed!

redexpat · 13/10/2016 12:49

If someone asked me for a drinks order and didn't say please I used to smile sweetly from behind the bar and say 'magic word'? At which point they couldnt get pleases and apologies out fast enough. All done in very good humour.