Dh wants to name our firstborn after his beloved godmother BUT

[Snuzzlewumpet]

-she has the same name as his ex gf! Even though it's a nice name I'm not happy about it. He's quite insistent, it's a cultural thing. I'm not bu am I?

I am from a culture where people have godmothers and it's a big deal to be asked. (Well, it was to me)

I don't have my godmothers name

Neither of my goddaughters have my name either first/middle.

This is balls I think, he of himself made a promise to HIS godmother and "culture" has nothing to do with it and is convenient.

I do feel for him that it is a name he'd set his heart on, as I have names I have my heart on, but nor would I want my child to share the name of its fathers ex, and I'm sure he'd feel the same i you tried to give his son an e boyfriends name - have you tried a reverse on him OP?

"How would you feel if this was a boy, called STEVE, like MY ex"

He had no right to promise that he would name his first child after her, unless he was going to use a surrogate.

I think YABabitU to focus on the ex GF rather than the beloved godmother. It seems very odd to me that the ex would cast such very long shadows over your current life and decision-making that she is able to cause upset throughout the whole family.

But - you both have to love the name...so there needs to be some compromise here.

If your DH is that keen to honour his godmother he can change his own name.

He doesn't get to make promises on your behalf.

I'd whatsapp the link to this thread and then tell him if he doesn't want to name your child a name that you both agree on, he can go and live with his precious Godmother until he sees sense!

YANBU at all hun, I think he is BU. It's your baby too, you get as much of a say as he does and it has to be a name you BOTH like.

Treadsoftly. Yes, the bequest of millions could make a difference😉
OP do you have the firstborn yet? If so what are you calling her so far?

Middle name - and that's your compromise - yanvu

Snuzzle - is his godmother still alive? If she is, perhaps you could have a chat and explain that he had a girlfriend with her name, and for that reason you feel very awkward naming your child that name; if she's dead, then she's not going to know anyway so it matters less.

As others have suggested, is there any possibility you could choose a variation of the grandmother's name?

My DSis was named for both grandmothers, but one of the names is a variation, not the actual name. (I'm not sure why.)

I agree that your OH has promised something that was not "in his gift", but maybe there is a compromise that would work?