Dh wants to name our firstborn after his beloved godmother BUT

[Snuzzlewumpet]

-she has the same name as his ex gf! Even though it's a nice name I'm not happy about it. He's quite insistent, it's a cultural thing. I'm not bu am I?

He's talking bollocks! Just tell him no.

Is there a variation that can be used? So instead of Katie you might go for Catriona.

I definitely wouldn't accept an ex's name and wouldn't ask the baby's father to either.

he isn't in a position to make that promise!!! This is your baby too. You aren't just a womb!

this is worth repeating! Exactly!

Just wondering OP, are you pregnant now with baby nearly here? Or have you talked about having a baby and this has come up?

Does his godmother have a middle name you could use?

God I hate this "cultural thing" when it just sounds like bullying to me!

er nope, yanbu, at all
And mil can butt out too
Did GM have a middle name?
Does mil have her godmother's name? if not the "cultural thing" is bollocks.

Tell him it's your 'cultural thing' that men don't get to unilaterally make promises on behalf of women that they haven't even met/conceived a child with yet.

Say two words to him and leave the room then deny him all the nice things that his mother can't give to him. He'll crawl back to you and start to see things your way.

Its not godmother name its mothers name you pass down to your children. He is trying to make it up as he goes along.

Tell him you promised your grandmother to use her name or her mother's name. Your mother's just reminded you.

sheldons - hear hear!

You could tell him he can give the unborn baby any name he wants apart from that one. Then he will feel included.

Just tell him tough. It's his ex's name and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Then ask how he would feel naming a son after your ex bf.

Could be worse, mine wants to call ours Conan after his fav Arnie film.....

Apparently he made a promise to her hmm my mil agrees with him too.

Not his promise to make. And absolutely nothing to do with his dear old ma.

Oh, fuck him off! 'NO, we're not using that name as I am not comfortable with it. We need to find another name we both agree on. In this culture, a man cannot force a name on a baby that the mother doesn't want, but we can go to court and a judge will chose a name if that's how you want to play it.'

Tell him that in your culture babies never get the name of an ex.

So are you actually expecting a girl?

What if someone only has boys-or more than one girl-whom do they get named after??

DD has dh's good others name as a middle name. It is also the name of an ex of his

I did ideally consider it for a first name but DH not keen (he thought it too old fashioned).

But that's not to say you should be ok with it. We considered so many names for DD. DH vetoed favourites I've wanted for years. It took hours and hours and hours of repeated discussions. Ultimately we got to one we both liked and suited her a few days after she was born.

This is a joint decision. You have to ge that across now. Otherwise what else will happen to yr children 'because he promised his mother'?

Middle name is a good compromise to offer if you are happy with that

I think you should find a name you both agree on but is it obvious it will be a cultural name? I mean something like Maria where in Latin countries every second child would be called that ? So no one thinks he is missing his ex.

Tell him that the in the culture you are from both parents discuss names to find one that both parents are happy with. It's a cultural thing, so he can't argue against it

Does mil have her godmother's name? if not the "cultural thing" is bollocks

Surely, MIL should have her father's godmother's name for it to be consistent! Does DH have have his mother's godfather's name? Am I alone in wondering what this culture is for this to be a "cutural thing"? I'm thinking bollocks too!

Tell him that when he can produce a baby all by himself he can choose a name all by himself. And raise said baby all by himself.

Explain to your MIL that in your culture, MILs are told the name that the parents have chosen, after the birth, and the only acceptable response is "oh what a beautiful name".

JellyBabiesSaveLives
^ Agreed ! Spot on advice