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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel a little suspicious , FB related .

147 replies

Penvelopesnightie · 12/10/2016 13:17

On my FB I have seen a distant relative of mine and he's in photos taken by he's female partner at a children's party . Him and partner have no children of their own .He is pictured on he's own with the children in every photo . I wonder if I'm being unreasonable to think he's actually quite creepy and why is he in a room without any adults present , just him and he's partner taking photos . Obviously the children's parents have seen these photos on FB and there are no comments made .

OP posts:
MrsGwyn · 12/10/2016 16:42

In what way are the picture similar?

Are they not fully dressed - are they in a pool - is there some prior knowledge of perverted behavior towards minors?

Honestly if there is genuine concern you need someone to see the pictures and talk through it with you.

PrivatePike · 12/10/2016 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisafakename · 12/10/2016 16:46

Like others have said, if there is a sordid backstory, I can't understand why OP would refuse to mention it as obviously just a photo of a man and some children at a party is not suspicious by itself. So a huge waste of a thread.

But it is horrific how people make these sorts of assumptions about men who don't have children for whatever reason. I can't count the number of times I have seen posts from women on facebook saying 'can't wait for baby-snuggles' (when a friend has had a baby). Why is 'snuggling' a baby who is not your own any less 'weird' than being photographed or indeed just being in the vicinity of children? Is it just because we are talking about a man? I have heard women (mums and childless women) say that they are 'obsessed' with babies and that is seen as natural and normal, whereas a man can't even be in the same room as a kid without anyone thinking it is dodgy.

FYI a large proportion of sexual abuse is inter-familial, often perpetrated by fathers/grandfathers of children. An adult not having their own children really does not statistically increase their chances of being a pedophile.

TheNaze73 · 12/10/2016 16:47

The only one sounding weird here OP is you.

Did he jilt you in the past or something?

SeasonalVag · 12/10/2016 16:49

Op, I think it's creepy to be so overinvested and obsessed with somebody like this.

Not to mention your inference that people without kids are paedophiles.
You're a real fucking tool.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/10/2016 16:51

Oh what utter nonsense. The op is being deliberately obtuse to rile things up. Reported.

faffingturtle · 12/10/2016 16:57

I think op might be worried.
If you read her posts, to me they read as should she be worried?
Something is behind her concerns.

Waltermittythesequel · 12/10/2016 16:59

I think the OP is trolling. Deliberately vague, inflammatory subject, throwing in the odd cryptic comment when the thread is dying down...

kali110 · 12/10/2016 16:59

Wtf is wrong with you?
Reported also.
If you are real then you should be ashamed.

unimagmative13 · 12/10/2016 17:03

The could be the next Ian Brady and Hindley, but I would suspect YABU.

Why do some people see a paedophile at every moment

Maudlinmaud · 12/10/2016 17:06

This lacks imagination if it is a troll.
Should have tried much harder op or at least waited until after teatime

kali110 · 12/10/2016 17:13

Dh and i don't have kids of our own yet. We have been pictured at 3 of our friends bday parties in last 6 months, my baby cousins and one of our godchild's.
Suppose we must be weirdos, or maybe it would just be dh Hmm

BowieFan · 12/10/2016 17:16

You should trust your gut feeling about this!

Oh no no no. Please don't.

I understand that sometimes gut feelings are right, but sometimes they aren't. Innocent people have died due to "gut feelings" and whilst we're all parents and sometimes it's hard to remember that most people aren't actively out to try and kidnap and rape our kids, we really shouldn't be advocating accusing someone of something based on some innocent photos.

BowieFan · 12/10/2016 17:20

unimaginative13

The types of people who think every man is a Paedo are the types of people who read The Sun, the Daily Express and the Daily Star.

They're the type of people who were responsible for forcing a paediatrician out of her home and burning the words "paedo" into her lawn. Or the ones responsible for the death of a man they'd "heard" was a paedophile (there was no evidence and he'd never been in trouble in his life.).

Sorry, I get worked up about these things because I work in education and I live in fear that one of my hardworking male colleagues will be accused of something one day and will have their life ruined. Because even with false accusations, you can never escape that tag.

AyeAmarok · 12/10/2016 17:20

What?

I mean...

What?

BowieFan · 12/10/2016 17:24

There's photos of me naked as a child in an 80 year old man's house and they're proudly on display. I mean, it is my dad and it's from when I had my first bath, but presumably he should be on the register?

CaliforniaHorcrux · 12/10/2016 17:28

Staff at my daughter's old primary school once saw a photo of her sat on my now-ex-BIL's knee and called SS to allege they'd seen her being cuddled by a strange man. It caused aggravation, awkwardness and hurt feelings just because of small minded people who draw conclusions with out getting the facts.

MrsDeVere · 12/10/2016 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 12/10/2016 17:53

Manumission he may have been in other pics, but he may not have known some of the people at the party.
I only ever let people put up pics on sm that are relevant, me with friends, me with friends/family kids.
If it's a pic with some random people who were invited that i don't know, then no.
Also op may not have permission to see all his pics.
You can make your fb settings so certain people can only see certain things ( without them knowing).

TriniRedVelvet · 12/10/2016 18:00

Also op may not have permission to see all his pics He should be blocking OP on fb.

MiddleClassProblem · 13/10/2016 19:08

OP, you're a little bit infuriating as your op doesn't state why you have these concerns, the avoidance of which reads like you aren't basing it on anything other than the photos. And now you're drip feeding. People can only answer the question you put to them. To then be like "well, there's more I can't say" makes it seems pointless asking the first question in the first place!

BowieFan · 13/10/2016 20:39

MrsDeVere

Sorry, I conflated two separate incidents. There was an incident of an innocent person (might have been a podiatrist?) who had the lawn burning incident.

You're right about the educated thing though. It does seem to be the mouth breathers of the world who are paedo hunters though.

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