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AIBU?

AIBU to feel a little suspicious , FB related .

147 replies

Penvelopesnightie · 12/10/2016 13:17

On my FB I have seen a distant relative of mine and he's in photos taken by he's female partner at a children's party . Him and partner have no children of their own .He is pictured on he's own with the children in every photo . I wonder if I'm being unreasonable to think he's actually quite creepy and why is he in a room without any adults present , just him and he's partner taking photos . Obviously the children's parents have seen these photos on FB and there are no comments made .

OP posts:

Report

MrsGwyn · 12/10/2016 14:46

MrsG. She thinks they seem odd.

Parents of the kids don't - obviously the children's parents have seen these photos on FB and there are no comments made

If she really think that why is she not getting someone in RL to have a look and confirm her view? We can't see the pictures here.

Plus there is an assumption that the man and his DP taking picture are in a different room - and it might be assumption it's his DP and not the host or another adult.

When I've had pic like this taken it's usually in main bit of the party often at instigation of person behind camera but with just me and child in the picture.

ChessieFL · 12/10/2016 14:49

Maybe there are lots of other photos of the party but the OP has only seen the 5 with him in because those are the only ones he was tagged in.

Eva50 · 12/10/2016 14:49

I wonder (and I can only wonder as OP is not giving further information) if OP has had issues with this man in the past which is clouding her judgment.

The OP also sounds quite young.

Idud · 12/10/2016 14:51

This is sad. I know lots of people are fucked up, but all this type of unfounded suspicion these days has really changed our communities. If somebody, usually a man, is remotely nice to a kid or just likes kids in general (how women are expected to and seen as weirdos if they don't) then that means something weird is going on.
He's at a kiddy party, I assume he was invited to, and has taken photos while there. I'm finding it difficult to see what is dodgy about that.
Remember when we were kids and we could play out because all the neighbours were known to us, that can't happen these days because everybody is too afraid to be friendly to kids or just be a normal person, because of people like the op.

toptoe · 12/10/2016 14:55

This depends on many factors. Were they posed because he wanted pictures with relatives eg his neices and nephews? Or were they posed with children that aren't related? Was he playing with the children and snapped without his knowledge? Was he photographed without his knowledge but showing him having taken a child into another room to play alone with him? Also, you say you have background knowledge that you are unable to give relating to him.

On it's own it seems innocent for him to be photographed with individual children - there may be valid reasons for it other than it being suspicious.

MrsGwyn · 12/10/2016 14:56

Maybe there are lots of other photos of the party but the OP has only seen the 5 with him in because those are the only ones he was tagged in.

Or maybe they can only pin him down for photos when they use a child - a child he doesn't want to upset by escaping.

I wonder (and I can only wonder as OP is not giving further information) if OP has had issues with this man in the past which is clouding her judgment.

I was wondering if the OP has something in her past making her more suspicious than normal either with this man or more generally.

By itself I can't see anything really odd going on what Op said.

Manumission · 12/10/2016 14:56

Remember when we were kids and we could play out because all the neighbours were known to us, that can't happen these days because everybody is too afraid to be friendly to kids or just be a normal person, because of people like the op.

As you mention it, I wasn't allowed to 'play out' in the much re-written and romanticised 70s, which I've always attributed to my Dad's career and the insight into certain things that that gave him (I doubt it was insight into 'people like the OP' TBH ).

BowieFan · 12/10/2016 14:57

Sigh.

This is the reason we have the problems we do. My DP has always always always loved kids and been great with them. We were not able to have them biologically and before we adopted he loved spending time with any relatives of his who were kids, he was always great with them and great at letting them have fun. He was upset inside because he knew we would never be able to have them, and so instead he tried to make the lives of kids around him a bit more fun. We have two sons and even now he's a big kid inside and he is everybody's favourite uncle.

My DP is on hundreds of photos with kids and it disgusts me that you automatically assume that anyone who is good with kids = paedophile.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 12/10/2016 14:57

It might be a bit odd to have photos of just himself + one child if he doesn't know them. But if he's at the party presumably they're all in the same broad social group, at least? Perhaps he and his partner babysit a lot? Or even godfather/unofficial uncle type role? Especially if the couple would like to have children and can't. (I'm from quite a large family and my parents made their childless (not by choice) friends godparents, "auntie", etc.)

However... I do wonder if there's a gut feeling type thing going on and OP is picking up on something.

PrivatePike · 12/10/2016 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Manumission · 12/10/2016 14:59

However... I do wonder if there's a gut feeling type thing going on and OP is picking up on something.

Yes and I'm also wondering about her prior experiences of the relative.

whattodowiththepoo · 12/10/2016 15:18

Manumission I'm wondering what planet you are on.
I hat it when people presume the worst especially in situations like this.

Zaphodsotherhead · 12/10/2016 15:18

OP - are you FB friends with the man's partner? Or just him? Because you could try looking and seeing if there are any pictures posted on her profile of just her with the same children, taken by him...which might suggest that those children are somehow special to the couple, like godchildren, or might also show that there were more people present than are shown in the pictures just of him.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 12/10/2016 15:22

whattodo

It's not so much presuming the worst, more like sometimes you have a gut feeling something is a bit odd but can't quite put your finger on it.

Obviously we dont know that this is the case with the OP, but I'd hate to encourage tiurning a lind eye if it is.

I was going to write a sarcastic post initially but with the references to more that can't be talked about it made me wonder if the OP was picking up on something but can't quite articulate it.

BastardGoDarkly · 12/10/2016 15:28

'I'm not going to drip feed' 'There's more information I'm not willing to share'

That's going to make this thread difficult OP, if you have reason to worry about this distant relative, then it's much more understandable, if not, it really does seem quite bizarre.

pregnantat50 · 12/10/2016 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mozfan1 · 12/10/2016 16:29

pregnant pretty poor taste there

Sparklesilverglitter · 12/10/2016 16:30

Really pregnant ??

KungFuPandaWorksOut · 12/10/2016 16:33

With the context you've given people are obviously going too say YABU. We don't know the full story as you haven't filled in the gaps.

I just don't get why only men can be labelled as perverts when it comes to children. One name - Myra Hindley

Jesus christ pregnant no need!

Penvelopesnightie · 12/10/2016 16:33

Actually that photo is not far off what I'm concerned about .

OP posts:

Maudlinmaud · 12/10/2016 16:35

So exactly why are you concerned?
Giving that you are now referencing JS.

Mozfan1 · 12/10/2016 16:37

OP spit it out or stop being so fucking vague. So you're accusing him of being a part of the Jimmy Saville paedophile ring? For gods sake this thread gets more ridiculous by the second.

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Maudlinmaud · 12/10/2016 16:38

*Given

The80sweregreat · 12/10/2016 16:39

If you are already suspicious of him , or both of them, then you have a right to feel awkward about this. If its just some innocent pictures of him with the children then no, its not odd at all. It depends how well you know them, if you have reason to think its a bit dodgy, what your feeling is about it all. Its hard on here as we haven't seen the photos or know the adults involved. Its this kind of thing that can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings. Best to just ignore, what softkitty2 wrote is also worth bearing in mind!

bloodyteenagers · 12/10/2016 16:40

So a man is in the pool with kids?

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