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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The property ladder - broken ?

165 replies

Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 10:21

Am having to start again at 41 with 4 kids.
Can save £200 per month by buying a property rather than renting, can scrape the deposit together etc. However it will be hell. 3 beds, one living room, kitchen diner.
We will not all have a bedroom am tempted to put all 4, aged 16,14,12 and 6 in together to sleep and literally make the bedrooms a place where you close your eyes and then have a home work study room.

My major worry is how do we move on though. House prices have barely moved since 2004 in this area.

Is the next step just beyond me and everyone else ? How did you do it if you did ?
TIA

OP posts:
KarmaNoMore · 12/10/2016 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenLindleyShitMom · 12/10/2016 14:45

You know full well - your assertion about Baby Boomers and what we have done

No I'm afraid I don't see where the abuse was in my comment. Can you explain where I have been abusive?

educatingarti · 12/10/2016 14:47

." My kids mental health isn't going to be helped by moving into the sized property I was initially thinking of though and the thought of them not achieving their potential due to the situation would eat me up forever."

Op, a small 3 bed house is obviously not ideal and won't be easy for any of you. I'm so sorry that one of your dcs has mental health problems and know that this will be hard for them and you too.

However with regards to your children's mental health in general, I don't think this would need to be a disaster. It is natural for parents to want to remove problems from their children's lives and sometimes it is appropriate to do that. Another important skill though I think is for parents to help their children work through difficult situations and experiences. Being in a small house will cause difficulties but is also an opportunity for everyone to work together as a team, become more aware of the needs of others and learn resilience. All these skills will help your dcs achieve their potential.

You are coming across as quite catastrophic in your thinking which is what I think some people are reacting to.

If you would save £200 a month, could this be used for a while to pay for some psychotherapy or counselling for the dc who needs it.

Optimist3 · 12/10/2016 14:48

Why don't you buy/mortgage and then rent out a house for your retirement. A nice one bed flat

expatinscotland · 12/10/2016 14:50

Some people are truly glass half empty people. Life is always extra hard for them.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 15:02

It's nothing to do with half empty or full expat hope you're well btw, I'm trying to talk through solutions with adults, it's not a woe is me I only have x y z post.

OP posts:
NickyEds · 12/10/2016 15:02

Op, It sounds like you've had a hard time and are having to start again. I would find the house you describe (straight into lounge, kitchen diner, 3 bed)with 4 children very hard, although there will be lots on here tell you how very easy it is. Being cramped is difficult and with the ages of your dc I think that house would be cramped. In your position I would rent for a couple of years, I think that means you will be £200 per month down (or not saved?)?? And then buy when your oldest turns 18 and you can realise some of the equity fro the family home. Would that work?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 15:04

I think that's it Nicky I can't see house prices in this area going up tbh.
I really wish we hadn't moved here in the first place but I think my options are now back to the family house or stick with renting here, I'm completely off the idea of buying in this area.

OP posts:
wasonthelist · 12/10/2016 15:11

No I'm afraid I don't see where the abuse was in my comment. Can you explain where I have been abusive?

Ok, you weren't being abusive, you were making very lovely and supportive comments about "the boomers", weren't you Hmm

Now, what should I and fellow boomers have done differently exactly?

You don't seem to want to back up anything you said just -slag off- be lovely to "the boomers"

JenLindleyShitMom · 12/10/2016 15:22

you were making very lovely and supportive comments about "the boomers", weren't you hmm

No, I wasn't doing that either. Those aren't the only two options available when referencing a section of society: support or abuse. It isn't a case of if you weren't doing one it must have been the other. As you well know.

I've clearly hit a sore point. You didn't benefit as other baby boomers have. That's fine. Plenty didn't. But many baby boomers did very well out of the economy at the time enabling them to buy their homes and then a second one and have held onto them to provide for their later years keeping homes off the market for the following generations and bumping the prices up for those that are buying. Note I don't hold baby boomers solely responsible for the current house price situation. But they have contributed. Without knowing your personal circumstances across the span of your life I couldn't possibly say what you might have done differently. If only it were that easy.

wasonthelist · 12/10/2016 15:30

I don't see what you think Baby Boomers did wrong and how they could have acted in a way you prefer? If you are attributing partial blame to a group of people, they must have done something that they could have done differently - what should the boomers have done?

JenLindleyShitMom · 12/10/2016 15:33

what should the boomers have done?

Not hoarded houses?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 15:34

The boomers basically used their position as having lots of equity due to inflation magically evaporating their mortgage to buy up a lot of the first time buyer property to rent back to the first time buyers

OP posts:
Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 12/10/2016 15:40

Pisssssedofff really? We plan to move there at some point (I'm Australian, DH is English).

wasonthelist · 12/10/2016 15:41

How many boomers did this - do you know any?

What do you think you would have done?

What the hell is "hoarding houses"?

I am astonished at the sneering that goes on on here - these are/were ordinary people, Mums, Dads, Grandparents, not Sir Philip flaming Green - governments and banks must love this inter-generational hatred.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 15:47

Was. all my aunties did this - 4 of them. They came from nothing, dirt poor, sugar pieces for dinner (sugar sandwich basically). They bought their council houses for £14k when the going rate was £32,000. Used that equity to buy themselves lovely big houses and then bought another full price house for £32,000 - paid off in full within 5 years with housing benefit. I know all this because they brag about what geniuses they are. Now interest rates are stupidly low they'd like to buy more investment properties but are moaning about the capital outlay now 🙄

OP posts:
specialsubject · 12/10/2016 15:50

ah well, that's right to buy for you. Mortgage interest rates were in double figures then, and real inflation high too.

and had you been in the position of 'the boomers' would you have done differently?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 15:51

I'd like to think not but I'll never know sadly

OP posts:
wasonthelist · 12/10/2016 15:51

Pisssssedofff

Aside from their bragging - I assume you are asserting that they should have continued to rent their council houses? (I don't dispute the lunacy of the government policy btw - which for the avoidance of doubt I never voted for or supported)

wasonthelist · 12/10/2016 15:56

Still seems a bit mean to slag off an entire generation on the basis of 4 aunties. Many people would struggle to do it differently given the opportunity I suspect. My Grandma could've bought her house under right to buy except she didn't have the cash - at the time there didn't seem to be a shortage though. When she died the house carried on as a Council house. None of my Boomer friends or family is this kind of property magnate - we have homes, rented or mortgaged, and we live in 'em like everyone else.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 15:56

Mortgage interest was in double figures for a very short period of time, ex had his mortgage through those years, the house price was still only 2 times his salary though

OP posts:
witsender · 12/10/2016 15:58

In your 50ies I don't class you as a boomer anyway Was...you're too young.

kittykittykitty5 · 12/10/2016 16:05

Can you consider another nearby area and perhaps find a more versatile property?

We went through a time when there was ten of us in a four bedroom house, although the fourth bedroom is a box room and only just fits a single bed and a bedside unit.

We changed the dining room into a bedroom and we had took the third bedroom which was just enough for our bed and literally just our essentials. Everything else was put in the loft.

Other DCs were split between the other larger rooms with just one in the box room.

You have to allow space for the older ones to work and study, if needs had dictated it I would have changed the garage to a study/bedroom as well.

wasonthelist · 12/10/2016 16:12

In your 50ies I don't class you as a boomer anyway Was...you're too young.
Wikipedia defines it as born 1946-1964, so includes quite a few of us in our 50s.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 12/10/2016 16:12

I think they should have bought their council house, I think they then took the piss buying another.

OP posts: