To tell my mum she's taking the piss?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut]

I'm a hairdresser who is currently on Mat leave. My mum meets up with her old university friends a couple of times a year and makes a night of it. She asked at the weekend could I do her hair and four of her friends hair for Tonight. I told her no problem but I will charge her friends but not salon price ( I always do my mums for free) she asked me do I know how much it would cost. I told her without exactly knowing what they want doing I wouldn't be able to give a price. She said she thinks majority will have a wash,cut and blow and maybe an updo. I told her call it £15.00 each then if they don't have updo £10. She said that's brilliant.
Now ive just recieved a text off my mum saying how excited her and her girls are to have a "pampering" with me and such a bargain for only £30.
I am so annoyed that my mums pulled this stunt. But now she's told her friends it's £30 collectively so I'm going to look a massive twat saying no it's £15 each if you have an updo!
Would IBU to tell her to piss off
She's due at 3 o'clock and I'm half tempted not too answer the door!!

She's cheap with her own child! She's a total twat. So is her friend. I'd never cut her hair again. I really wouldn't. And the next time she told me I was hormonal and money grabbing, I'd turn it right back round on her, 'No, actually, you are a manipulative cow who is tight with her own kids.'

Funny how her pisstaking friend can't afford 'excessive rates' for her hair but she has money to spunk up a wall going out.

I think I would send your dad a message then op. Just something along the lines of: hi dad, thanks for understanding the awkward position I was in. I am really upset to be honest, and I am concerned for mine and mum's relationship if this sort of thing continues. I can't seem to get through to her at all. X

I'm afraid I don't understand why as a one-off, you'd even consider charging your Mum's friends? It's surely a favour to your Mum, not a commercial undertaking.

going a bit against the grain here but I think doing your mum's hair is a given if you're a hairdresser. Why wouldn't you?

If her trip with friends is twice per year and I had no other appointments, I probably would have said yes and then after the night out, I would have had strong clear words with her. You'll probably find that the friends were embarrassed or would have been if they knew what was going on in the background.

As for the huffing friend - you don't know what your mum told her - maybe she thought she was getting a free do and then turned up and this person is suggesting I pay - may not be her fault.

Your mum does sound cheeky, however maybe you could have sorted this out after her (one of only 2 times) night out with those friends.

I was thinking that expat

Would love to see her in a salon saying "I want my hair done but I cant afford to pay you as I am going out tonight"!

A favour is something the giver offers, not has foisted on her or him by someone else. She did not offer, her mother told her. Why on Earth would you not charge for a skill you use to make your living? I cannot imagine ever not offering money, either. That's why I don't understand. Going to someone's home or place of work, getting a service and then not offering them money for it.

The OP cuts her mother's hair as a favour, that's something she has offered her (again, I'm shocked your mother hasn't offered you cash for that, I would), that doesn't mean she has to do it for free to all and sundry.

Cannot believe someone would expect a person to stand on her feet for hours 'pampering' them and not offer them money.

Well done for standing your ground. Your DM was BU. Even ur dad could see that. But don't give it another thought. Enjoy your pregnancy/maternity leave (if possible) & Look forward to having your baby. Congratulations by the way.

If I was a hairdresser I know for a fact that my mother would insist on paying me, and would probably pay me as much as she pays her salon hairdresser!

Piss takers are always on the look out for the extra thing they can get. Its what they do. They start with little favours here and there that are so inconsequential that you dont notice as they gradually start to creep up and up until you are spending more time doing freebies, half the time for people you barely know, than you are doing paid work!

And for those who cant understand why she didnt just do it, even her Dad, who always backs up the mother, has apologised! If he thinks that she was in the wrong then I think we can be fairly sure that the OP WNBU!

I suspect shes actually getting triple the reward from it - gets her hair done for free, gets the pleasure of seeming generous to her friends at no cost, and I wouldnt be surprised if shes not getting drinks bought for her while shes out because of the "lovely pampering day" shes arranged.

Horrendous and insensitive behaviour from a parent.So glad you didn't give in to her........well done you. Mumsnet hero.

No one would walk into a salon and expect a stranger to do four hours work for £30.

To expect it of someone just because they are family is a joke.

I would not answer the door to be honest, as your whole evenings gone, and they are taking the mickey

i'm always amazed at people that'd short change their own kids, especially now you also have a baby so your costs have increased massively. Glad you stood your ground.

a1 and mam
For nearly ten years ive done my mums hair, never charged even when she had a colour or extensions. Which leaves me out of pocket. I don't get why I should let my mum dictate my prices for her friends. I was already doing them a deal that was cheaper than any salon. If I was to be coaxed into doing everybody's hair for free just too avoid awkward situations or too appease I wouldn't be making any money!

That's like me having a lawyer for a friend, sending somebody their way after being told a set price by lawyer but telling friend a price that's less than discussed. Do you think the lawyer friend would not correct me for giving the wrong price? Or do you think they should do it for the price I said too save embarrassment.

If you keep doing "one offs" they don't stay one offs for long!

Just checking but it should be £60 - are you sure its not a typo on her text???? before you fall out with her shoudnt you just clarify.

You don't have to justify anything, Kung. Your mother is a pisstaking mare. I'd stop doing her hair for free. I really would. 'Nope. I was truly insulted by that stunt you pulled. I'm fed up of your calling me emotional and hormonal when I don't do what you want. Having DD made me realise I need to show her not to take people's crap. '

You're completely right and I bet your mum knows it really. She'll come crawling back because you hold all the power here.

Hormones indeed. Ask her if her menopausal hormones are out of wacky too then as she's being a grumpy tight cow.

No no Kung - don't justify anything to anybody - you've been treated appallingly and your mum is obviously got rhino hide for emotions. Sit down, feet up, open a bottle of fizz for your heroics in the face of eejits

Jesus OP I'm embarrassed for your mum. Shameful!!

I don't get this though:

"Yesterday 21:48 KungFuPandaWorksOut

this is my first baby so no baby sitting."

One can baby-sit first babies?!

Surely you would have been out of pocket if you had done their hair for free. The cost of electricity for blow dries, straighteners, tongs etc would mount up.

I am by no means loaded yet like everyone else I'm as to how 'excessive' and 'money grabbing' can be terms applied to a £10 cut and blow dry?!

Wow! Can't believe the cheek of it.

Well done for standing up for yourself though!!

Sounds as if she has real form. Do you want to attempt I elicit an apology or acknowledgement of her treating you badly? If you do, I would suggest refusing to do her hair until she does.