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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think DH and his friend are out of their tiny minds?

116 replies

permanentlyexhaustedpigeon · 11/10/2016 09:34

DH has a good friend who lives at the other end of the country. They try and visit each other a few times a year. Friend is also married and has two DCs - a four year old and an 18 month old.

Last week, we discovered a major leak in the bathroom that has put both it and our kitchen out of action. There is concrete dust and industrial dehumidifiers everywhere; it is possible to take a shower and use the loo, but you have to step over a dehumidifier and a hole in the floor first. The living room is full of white goods while the kitchen dries out, and DH, DD and I can just about manage to squeeze in there for our meals (not easily). DD's homework is having to be done at the local library as there is really no room anywhere else in the house. The insurers have advised that the dehumidifiers need to be in place for another week before we can start doing any work on repairs.

Some time ago, DH arranged for friend and his family to stay at the weekend - before the leak. Apparently friend and his family are still coming - DH has told friend about the house situation and apparently 'they're fine with it'; DH reckons the four of them can fit in the spare room (which has our kitchen cupboards in it at the moment so the door doesn't shut), and there's no need to worry about a very mobile 18 month old as 'he's sure that everything will be fine'.

It seems inhospitable to insist they stay in a hotel, but I really can't share DH's (or friend's) optimism - and if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be hotfooting it to a Travelodge faster than a speeding bullet rather than keeping an eye on an active toddler in a building site.

AIBU to think they're both insane?

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 13/10/2016 16:01

around*

Kr1stina · 13/10/2016 16:05

You need to go and stay with a family member that weekend, to provide moral support while you dad is so ill and transport them to the hospital . You might have to go in during the night and it wouldn't be fair to your guests to disturb them as you fall down the hole in the floor at 2am

ParForTheCourses · 13/10/2016 18:03

Just make sure your dh takes responsibility for everything op. You have enough on your plate without adding to the worry.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/10/2016 09:30

Blimey. I'm quite shocked she's taken that attitude, I have to say! Maybe she thinks it can't be that bad - she's going to be in for a shock when she sees it in all its glory! Stairgate, forsooth - as if that's going to fix everything! Shock

Well, I'm tempted to agree that you should maybe stay elsewhere yourself for the duration, because it's going to be awful. Thanks and Wine for you.

ViolettaValery · 16/10/2016 10:55

Just seen your update OP, gosh people are weird. I guess this is The Weekend, hope it's all gone ok!

merrymouse · 16/10/2016 11:00

I really like the tent idea ursus, and I suspect the hospital will be so short-staffed that they'll need me to stay with DF for the entire weekend just to be on the safe side.

Yes. I think this is sounding very likely indeed!

I'd still say you have a right to say no because what they are proposing is dangerous, but if they are determined and your DH agrees with them, there is only so much you can do. (Maybe get them to sign a disclaimer? Only half joking!)

Masketti · 16/10/2016 11:03

When DH and I were pre kids we had a major leak which covered the entire downstairs. Bathroom and bedroom OK bit living and kitchen areas damp, smelly and noisy with dehumidifiers.

We moved out for 6 months. There's no way we could have done it with kids or visitors. Will your home insurance not cover you for alternative accommodation? Never mind the unwanted guests this weekend!

Our fridge food spoiled because the heat from the dehumidifer meant the cooling element couldn't cope. If you have no cupboards or washing machine able to be plugged in nor safe bathroom you're doing worse than us and our insurance paid us £500 a month to live elsewhere. As a family you may well get more.

rainbowstardrops · 16/10/2016 11:20

I can't believe the wife still thinks it's 'cool' despite knowing you're living in chaos right now! I'd be fuming!
I'd be tempted to make myself scarce for the duration and leave the idiots to it.
Total madness

Memoires · 16/10/2016 11:56

I imagine promises have been made by her dh, just as promises have been made by yours. I doubt that thise promises will be kept.

Yes, you need to be at the hospital all weekend.

ChuckBiscuits · 16/10/2016 12:00

everyone still thinks its "cool!" to stay

I'd respond with 'Aah well, rather you than me as I will have to be at the hospital all weekend. Enjoy'.

furryminkymoo · 16/10/2016 12:10

Please let us know how it goes OP?

permanentlyexhaustedpigeon · 17/10/2016 12:52

Well, sadly their 18mo came down with a virus that meant we had to reschedule (for an unspecified point in the future when the kitchen is back to normal, I might add). What a shame - kids do pick up everything under the sun these days.. Grin

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/10/2016 13:09

Oh WHAT a shame!! I wonder how bad the virus really was, and how much of it was the wife thinking "thank fuck, now I have a decent excuse to pull out of this hellish idea!" Grin

Poor child though, hope they're better soon (but not soon enough for them to come and visit any time soon)

minipie · 17/10/2016 13:13

Thank god the virus showed itself beforehand rather than half way through the weekend Shock

Lucky escape all round

LizB62A · 17/10/2016 13:37

Maybe there wasn't actually a virus, maybe the other wife thought better of it !

EdmundCleverClogs · 17/10/2016 13:42

Goodness me, you think so, Liz?

Wink
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