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AIBU?

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Original poster

would you think i am mean

140 replies

mummaclaire · 10/10/2016 16:07

its my dd 10th birthday next month, doing a big party for her (family rule is proper party on 5th 10th 13th and 16th)
but am thinking of not doing party bags tbh its another expense and lets be frank they generally contain sweets and crap, but will it come across as I'm being a mean mother?

OP posts:
OhNoNotMyBaby · 10/10/2016 16:10

Yes. Party bags are essential for parties when her schoolfriends are attending.

I would look out for discounted Halloween chocolates and bits and bobs. The friends won't care much, as long as they get something.

I used to get DD discounted Easter Eggs for her party bags - everyone loved them!

abbsismyhero · 10/10/2016 16:10

Yes

SexDrugsAndABriocheRoll · 10/10/2016 16:11

I wouldn't care nor would my kids but I've had numerous children demand them as a right, even when one year I spend the equivalent on a small gift each. A few stood holding it while shouting ever louder for their bag. While parents stood wide eyed behind. Or when it's not a party and I've had one child wanting one cos it's a birthday.

You need to know your crowd

Rrross1ges · 10/10/2016 16:11

My kids would be horrified but I'd be delighted.

SheldonsSpot · 10/10/2016 16:12

Yes it will come across as mean.

isseywithcats · 10/10/2016 16:13

i wouldnt the kids will have eaten them selves silly at the party when my kids were this sort of age they had a party, games with prizes and everyone got a slice of cake in the party bag to take home and no one ever called me mean

Boysnme · 10/10/2016 16:13

I wouldn't care but my kids would!

PleaseGetOffTheTableDarling · 10/10/2016 16:13

If it's the sweets and crap you're trying to avoid, we've been to a few parties where guests were given a book each instead of a party bag. Kids seemed pretty happy with it.

DarlingBuddyOfMay · 10/10/2016 16:14

No but 10 year olds might be disappointed. Maybe not a party bag but one small gift each? One year I bought on Amazon lots of postcard size blackboard slate type things with a loop - you know, the kind of thing kids hang over their door handle etc? My daughter chalked 'dear xxx thanks for coming to my party, love xxx'. Went down well and saved on the thank you notes! In fact about 8 years later the one she kept for herself is still in use - except now it says 'Do not disturb'!

NapQueen · 10/10/2016 16:14

Kids love party bags!

Or just get those long tubes of bubbles and give them one each and a piece of cake when they leave.

BarbaraofSeville · 10/10/2016 16:14

Isn't 10 a bit old for party bags?

They need some way of taking home cake, assuming that it isn't eaten at the party. Cake plus some crap from Claire's accessories or the pound shop shouldn't cost that much?

Original poster
mummaclaire · 10/10/2016 16:15

damn! looks like I will be party bagging it! would have thought at 9 and 10 they would be past it ;-)

may try doing sweet cones

OP posts:
Rrross1ges · 10/10/2016 16:18

Pound shop do those glow sticks in packs of 12(ish) for erm a pound Grin. They go down well and are proper cheap and need chucking out after a couple of days so no storage issues.

AuntieStella · 10/10/2016 16:18

If it's the very end of November, see if you can multi buy chocolate Advent calendars.

Or try The Book People for heavily discounted sets of books, then have a couple of tins of Quality Street, Roses etc that they can plunge their little mitts into on the way out.

DamsonInDistress · 10/10/2016 16:32

At 10 I'd expect party bags to be long gone, they're for infants really. I haven't done them from about 8yo, but then they've not had large scale parties really, just close friends, which is a bit of a different dynamic.

BigusBumus · 10/10/2016 16:39

I haven't done party bags since about 8 years old. But then I do only have boys, perhaps girls are different? Boys just look in the bag, take the sweets out and sling the rest on the back seat of the car unlooked at, ready for me to bin when we arrive home.

ThatStewie · 10/10/2016 16:41

At 6 yes. At 10 no.

m0therofdragons · 10/10/2016 16:42

Party bags are the universal sign the party has ended and the lovely dc must leave! Dd had cheap mugs (with design that matched the theme but were 75p each) and a slice of cake wrapped up in it.

RNBrie · 10/10/2016 16:42

I've never done party bags (have 5 year old and 3 year old) and no one has ever said anything to my face

I did books one year, bought them from The Book People so around £1 each.

I will never understand party bags. They're expensive to do and yet generally filled with total tat. Why??!!

Wrinklytights · 10/10/2016 16:43

I still feel like they're expected, but for older kids do one small gift, piece of cake and a few sweets.

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 10/10/2016 16:44

No, no need for party bags at ten. I didn't do them at nine either - because I completely forgot (life had been very hectic). One child asked and I muttered something about "aren't you all a bit too grown up for party bags now?" and gave him some cake to take away. They were all perfectly happy without their extra bit of tat, so I didn't do them after that.
If the kids think I'm being mean after (last year) a trip to cinema with popcorn/drinks followed by meal at Pizza Express then their parents need to have a stiff word.
They are not necessary at all!

DixieWishbone · 10/10/2016 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ausernotanumber · 10/10/2016 16:51

I never did party bags past about 7 or 8. And god help any child that asked. I had a gimlet stare.

namechangedtoday15 · 10/10/2016 16:52

Have children 11 (boy and girl) and 7yr old DD.

My DD went to a 12th birthday party at the weekend (first whilst at high school) and it's the first time ever that one of them has come out of a party without a party bag.

So at 10 (and dare I say it 11 - I'd go as far as to say all the way through primary school) party bags are the norm.

But absolutely it's not plastic tat as they get older - books, sweet cone, think we did super drug cheapy bottles of bubble bath for DD one year. Did footballs one year (think they were £1 each at sports direct), bracelets off amazon!!

PeppermintPasty · 10/10/2016 16:54

I wouldn't think it was mean, but that might just be me.

Could you do one cool thing for the kids to take home? Example being, my ds' birthday, 6th I think, coincided exactly with the Lego movie. I took a vast amount of horrid children to the cinema, couldn't be arsed with party bags so gave them all a Lego mini bag. Went down a storm. I appreciate that it wasn't a traditional party though.