would you think i am mean

[mummaclaire]

its my dd 10th birthday next month, doing a big party for her (family rule is proper party on 5th 10th 13th and 16th)
but am thinking of not doing party bags tbh its another expense and lets be frank they generally contain sweets and crap, but will it come across as I'm being a mean mother?

I agree with you that party bags are generally full of crap and just another expense, but kids love them and they are part of the party 'experience' so unfortunately yes, I think you would come across as mean.

I love making unusual birthday party bags, mugs with cakes is a great idea! I want to do a puppy adoption (not really puppies obviously) but I personally wouldnt care if the kids didn't return home with party bags, but DP did a school run once and over heard a group of mothers complaining about the fact little had been to a party and didn't get a party bag, and how terrible this was.

Surely being invited is enough, anything else is a bonus

Well, I definitely didn't do them for Dd's 11th and there were no complaints (I asked her beforehand and she said she didn't care and didn't think anyone else would be bothered), I can't remember if we did for 10 or not, but it seems perfectly reasonable not to. But I am not a big believer in having to follow hundreds of unwritten rules for every event, as long as everyone has a good time.

Dds friend didn't have party bags for her 8th party. I did sweetie cones. I also had a whole bunch of those mask things on sticks. I didn't actually buy them, dd collected them at a wedding but they went down a storm. If you're on a budget, about 70 masks will set you back around £8 plus a small delivery charge. You may get smaller sets cheaper. A couple of masks each and a bit of cake, job done.

party bags are non-negotiable, and theyre an excellent way of signalling to your guests that its time to go

My DC are 10 and 11 and haven't had or received a party bag for at least the last couple of years. I guess it depends on what's the norm in your area.

At that age I just give them a large bag of Maltesers/Minstrels or similar (the size bags that are usually on offer for £1) and a bit of cake.

and lets be frank they generally contain sweets and crap

Which kids (even 10yr olds love) !!

I recommend The Book People as well. I always used to give out a book,with a couple of fun-sized mars bars, milky ways etc in.

Nah party are shite and 10 year olds will have no interest, have a look online for a book, large chocolate bar or cheap look band set if you want but otherwise don't worry. Although i am not in the UK and while we have party bags we don't seem as obsessed as mn would have me believe you are in the UK

I'd consider you a trail blazing genius.

I would not think you mean, nor would I mind. And i think 10 is quite old for party bags.

i can't remember now exactly what we've done in the past. DS has had party at same place three year running and they do the bags for us. But with dd we used to have a lot of children at the village hall and as they left they all got a balloon, a piece of cake and a small bar of chocolate from a multi pack.

Not needed at 10 imo.

I still remember the first party I went to without party bags. This was at least 25 years ago. Do party bags!

But/make some sparkly/fab cupcakes and put them in individual boxes(can buy cheap on eBay). Get your dd to write a tag attached to each one thanking person for coming to the party.

Have a "Adopt Me" basket of puppies/kittens/animal soft toys, guests pick one on the way out.

Or one of those cellophane cones of coloured haribo/sweets

This is her second party ever. She probably won't want a party bag at 13 or 16. Are 2 lots of party bags over her childhood really that much work/expense?

ds got a football at a party the other day, and still asked me (luckily in private) why he didn't get a party bag

last year I gave a small box of celebrations and that was it. it's basically a little something to get rid of people really.

10 year old is too old for party bags, I'm surprised people are still doing them at that age, they had totally phased out for my kids at that age.
The problem is that most parents want to stop giving them but nobody dares to be the first one.
I'd personally just give the cake and if you have to give something else just one small wrapped thing - ie packet of panini stickers or whatever the latest thing is.

Go to the £ shop & asda do bags of small toys for like £2-3. But of cake in each n job done. Most I spent on party bags was £18

Not a mean mother at all hun. You are doing a lovely party already

Get some cupcake boxes, a few bags of sweets and bowls of thick buttercream with piping bags and they can decorate their own cupcakes and take home as their party bag. Cheap enough and doubles as birthday cake.

You definitely still need to do something!

My DS1's birthday is in December & I gave out selection boxes instead of party bags, could this work for you? It's cheaper than other options & most kids will be happy with lots of chocolate