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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

would you think i am mean

140 replies

mummaclaire · 10/10/2016 16:07

its my dd 10th birthday next month, doing a big party for her (family rule is proper party on 5th 10th 13th and 16th)
but am thinking of not doing party bags tbh its another expense and lets be frank they generally contain sweets and crap, but will it come across as I'm being a mean mother?

OP posts:

StrawberryLime · 11/10/2016 22:12

I have a 13 year old and a 9 year old, and so have done many kids parties over the years, and also attended many.
Party bags are unfortunately the norm, I've never been to one or held one without some semblance of a party bag at the end.
However, at the age of 10, it doesn't have to be the full on party bag gubbins such as pencils, balloon, cake etc.
That stuff I find is more reception age child onwards, so 4 - 8.
10 though?! Sweet cones go down a treat and are lovely or just a piece of cake in a bag and a balloon!

StrawberryLime · 11/10/2016 22:16

I don't think anyone actually cares if you get a party bag or not, actually. At least, I hope they don't anyway. Me or mine never did.
Don't get me wrong, they're lovely, and are super grateful for them and say thank you, but if they didn't materialise it's not a biggie and wouldn't feel hard done by!
They're just an added bonus.
If you don't want to do them, don't. Just wrap a piece of cake to take home instead. Nobody's going to mind. I wouldn't. Neither would my kids. They love cake.

oldbirdy · 11/10/2016 22:22

Buy multipacks of fun socks from a supermarket and split them, one pair per bag, and look in bargain shops like peacocks for 'fun ' lipbalm pots. Add in a small pack of sweets - love hearts popular with this age! - and you have a no tat party bag that is still fun.

RaqsMax · 12/10/2016 01:28

I HATE the tyranny of party bags and always flatly refused to do them.

As a nipper, they didn't exist. You took a gift TO the birthday boy/gal. You would not DREAM of getting something back. If you were lucky, you had a slice of birthday cake to take home in a napkin....

I find party bags a cynical exercise in merchandising. It's just an excuse to make you spend unnecessary money on a bunch of crap that ends up in the bin the day after. Apart from the cake.

I always told everyone that I invited to my kids parties that there would be no party bags; it was never an issue. Only once was this queried by a little lad. I just said firmly 'we don't do party bags; you'll have a piece of cake to take home'. He thought about it and said 'Cool'.

DON'T GET SUCKED IN - SAVE A FORTUNE!

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 12/10/2016 02:05

DC1 had a big 10th and we did party bags.

I love party bags :)

Optimist3 · 12/10/2016 03:41

Party bags are just unrecyclable tat and sugar and money. Surely there's better way

Jessikita · 12/10/2016 10:08

Do you have a Poundland where you live? Great for multipack cheap plastic Tat to go on bags and multipack sweets

Brentlicious · 12/10/2016 14:50

A friend's 5/6 year old ( back in the 80s ) was invited to the birthday party of the child of the ruler of a Middle Eastern State.
The party was at Claridge's, the entertainers were Roy Castle and Lulu, the food was canapés, and the party bag contained a remote control car, a box of ( liqueur (?) ) chocolates, a Sony Walkman and a £10 note.
Follow that!

florencebabyjo · 12/10/2016 14:50

How about the theming the bag and keeping it simple as the child is older? we recently did a bake off party for my daughters 12th. I found Jane Asher cook books in Pound land and gave one of those to each along with a slice of cake. Everyone was happy.

StressedOne · 12/10/2016 16:38

What about a sweet bar with paper sweet bags and the kids can help themselves, it actually costs less and the kids enjoy it - just make sure 1 kid doesnt take the whole lot, adult supervision will be needed!

pollymere · 12/10/2016 17:31

Slice of birthday cake, multipack toy from Baker Ross or Tesco etc and a funsize choc bar. Job done.

Hadalifeonce · 12/10/2016 18:14

I got so fed up with all the tat in party bags, dc now 16 and 13, I took a stand and gave the children a bag with a slice of birthday cake in it.
Nobody ever complained, and other mums started following suit.
So I would not view you anything other than reasonable.

Yoarchie · 12/10/2016 18:21

Slice of cake
Small bag of sweets from an asda multipack
No need to spend ££

RequestInUse · 13/10/2016 15:16

So know how you feel and would love the tradition of party bags to do one. However I don't see it happening.

Although in idea I plan to use as the blooming things seem inescapable. My DS cam back from a party couple of weeks back with a milk bottle type cup with lid and straw with a few sweets in. Great idea I thought.

MuseumOfCurry · 13/10/2016 15:23

I hate them and have always refused to do them. I don't think anyone would accuse me of being mean or cheap, certainly not my children.

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