AIBU not to pay for decapitated teddy bear

[RestlessTraveller]

So I have a rescue dog who is lovely but has suffered appalling treatment in the past.
He loves meeting people but is very excitable so I am very careful when he is around people. Today I was sat outside a coffee shop and he was being extremely well behaving sitting beside my chair, a woman with a boy aged about 3 came
and sat at the table next to me. The little
boy asked if he could stroke the dog and I explained it was best not to as he might jump up at him. Cue an almighty tantrum, with him screaming "I want to stroke the puppy", his mother told him not to because the dog was obviously "vicious". I explained that he wasn't vicious just excitable. To which point the child yelled "nasty doggy" and kicked out at him missing my my dog, but very close by. I told him not to do it again and to go back and sit with his mother which he did but minutes later he threw his teddy bear at him at which point my dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off. Whilst trying not to die of embarrassment I apologised but the mother completely flipped out, telling me that it was a dangerous dog and should be put to sleep. She then demanded that I pay for the toy. I told her that if he child hadn't thrown it the dog would never have got his paws on it and walked off. I don't think I was BU but my friend thinks I should have coffed up. What do you think?

Ha ha! 2kids2dogs He does have scarily grippy little paws.

He does have scarily grippy little paws

Pretty impressive for an animal with no opposable thumbs! LOL

Keeping your dog and children that don't have dog sense safe is not stupid. Quite the opposite.

Aww, he's precious!

Thanks Repent. He really is!

Omg yes op, refuse to engage. Some people just like to argue.
Your dog is lovely!

Thank you Kali

kond i will accept your cake in any form of sponge

Yeah me too! Slimming world's a bitch.

Had you paid you would've undone the great work of karma.

Who the fuck can put a monetary value on a teddy bear anyway?!

YANBU. I would not have paid for the bear. I find some of these replies baffling- yes toddlers have tantrums, but you deal with them appropriately rather than excusing the behaviour.

The OP has clearly said her dog is not aggressive or that he dislikes people. She has specifically said the dog is quite sociable and likes people, but is quite bouncy and she didn't want him to knock over the little boy. Therefore, when asked if he could pat the dog, OP said she'd rather he didn't. That is being a responsible dog owner. And if the cafe are happy for OP and her dog to be there, then she is free to take her dog there.

Mum's response was to wind up her toddler by telling her the dog was nasty and then she was rude to the OP. Toddler's response to being told no was to have a tantrum and then to try and kick the dog. OP then had to make the child go back to his mum- if mum was so worried the dog was "nasty" then surely she would have made sure her child was nowhere near it?

Yes, toddlers have tantrums and that is normal. That doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be tackled. Not only that, but I don't buy that "a 3 year old doesn't know any better"- my DD knew from a young age that kicking/hitting or otherwise mistreating animals was not on. To my knowledge, she never has done so (and if she had, there would have been some sort of consequences to her actions). This is not only because I think it is important children learn respect for animals, but also because it is potentially dangerous for her to be aggressive towards animals as they may react badly. It's not rocket science!

Dogs play with toys, they will chew and rip them. If someone threw a toy at our dog he would think it was being given to him and he'd chew it. He is definitely not a vicious or dangerous for a dog and is very well trained. The little boy threw the bear at the dog, and I agree that he is unlikely to have understood the implication of throwing the bear at the dog, but even a 3 year old has to learn that actions have consequences. Mum could have explained to her DS that he shouldn't throw things at other people (or pets), and if he does then these things may get damaged or lost.

He's adorable! You are definitely NBU.

We once paid for a sandwich our dog ate, but if someone's kid had thrown the sandwich at his feet (rather than innocently eating it at a picnic ) we bloody well wouldn't have!

RestlessTraveller Capiria I refuse to engage with stupid.

LOL Yep! Reckon even Gandhi would have gnawed on his sandals in frustration by now at so much daftness.

I'm not a troll. These dog vs children threads always descend one way or the other with people unable to see things from any other perspective than their own.
OP I hope your dog doesn't do anything like this again and I hope he is not tormented by any more brats. I also hope the mother hasn't reported the incident because that can be difficult for owners. Hopefully even if she did no one will follow it up.
I have not been rude to you or anyone else.

Restless I take it all back - that dog clearly has the cold, hard eyes of a killer!

Caipira - you were extremely belligerent and actually that does come across as rude.

Thankfully the killer eyes are now closed tightly shut. But my god the snoring!

He's adorable. Quite shocking that a child would want to kick him or any animal. Crap parenting.

This is probably a collision of bad circumstances.

On another day with another child OP you might have felt bad for the child witnessing their beloved toy mangled I'm front of them and offered to replace it immediately.

On another day the mum might have had better control of their child and been more equipped to deal with the tantrums.

I think YANBU but if I had to deal with either of my DC watching their beloved toy ragdolled by a dog I would probably not be at my most reasonable/ fair minded.

Calling the child a shit etc is a bit excessive and unnecessary.

Calling the dog dangerous and for it to be muzzled is a bit excessive and necessary.

Sometimes you can choose whether to be right or to be kind.

I understand why you didn't feel the need to be kind in this situation

I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a dog person, as long as they stay away from me I can tolerate them, so I'd never come to the defence of a dog if it is in any way at fault. But seems you done everything right, you and your dog are not at fault here. I can't imagine why anyone would think you are.

Yes 2kids2dogsnosense, it just seemed to me that if the dog (any dog, not just this little sweetie) had been wearing one of the ones in my link, it would be easy to just point to it and say 'Please do not let your child touch the dog' making it clear that the child should keep away and find someone else to annoy.

Just to clarify, in case you didn't look at the listings in the link, there are a variety of different ones and I have seen others elsewhere so am pretty sure there would be an appropriate one for most dogs. If I am ever fortunate enough to have a dog I would consider getting one.

From a personal perspective - I can't abide dogs. I really find them unpleasant and, try hard as I might not to, I've passed this on to my children. We would always avoid a dog and nothing pisses me off more than dog owners who let their dogs behave badly/excitedly in public places. But in this case? OP - you definitely weren't unreasonable. Child behaved appallingly - he threw something at the dog. I think you were restrained actually - I'd have yelled at them. Good learning point for that child which his mother unlikely to provide.

I did look and thanks for the link it's definite something I'm going to look into. Now if we can just get one for a kid that says 'potential dog kicker".