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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get DS to pay for his own P.E tops?

43 replies

cakedup · 08/10/2016 11:58

DS (11) has managed to lose two (of his only two) PE tops in the last couple of weeks. They are no-where to be found.

They cost £7 each and I have £30 to last me for a week. If he doesn't go to PE wearing them next week he gets detention.

AIBU to get DS to pay for it out of his own money? He has over a hundred pounds in piggy bank. Is it wrong to get him to pay for it or a good lesson?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 08/10/2016 12:00

Yanbu

Hopefully he will learn to look after his things more carefully

CruCru · 08/10/2016 12:00

Seems fair enough UNLESS they are being pinched. Is his name tape sewn into his collar on both tops?

Original poster
cakedup · 08/10/2016 12:01

I should add I bought them brand new for the start of term so they haven't lasted very long!

OP posts:
DrSeuss · 08/10/2016 12:01

Either that or just let him get detention.

Original poster
cakedup · 08/10/2016 12:04

CruCru I've never done the sewing thing. I write his name on the label. The first one he just forgot to put in his bag I think. The second time he has lost his entire PE kit, trainers/tracksuit bottoms and all. Hoping that one will turn up actually.

OP posts:
Original poster
cakedup · 08/10/2016 12:05

At some point he'll need a PE top though DrSeuss.

It's not like his done it maliciously, just being absent minded.

OP posts:
CantThinkOfAQuirkyName · 08/10/2016 12:06

Has he checked lost property?

ClopySow · 08/10/2016 12:08

I think it's fair enough t make him replace it.

Leeds2 · 08/10/2016 12:08

YANBU to make him pay for the replacement top (and any more that may be needed).

BUT do make sure he knows where all the lost property boxes/bins are in the school, and that he checks each one carefully.

MUjunkie · 08/10/2016 12:09

Yep make him buy it! My son got holes in the knees of his school trousers all the time playing football. And the soles of his shoes weee always hanging off! After going through 4 new pairs of trousers in less than 2 weeks, and his 3rd pair of shoes in 3 months id had enough! So I sold one of his Xbox games and bought new shoes and trousers!
Amazingly the shoes lasted the rest of the school year and the trousers lasted til he outgrew them!

Shock miracles DO happen!

MumYourSoCool · 08/10/2016 12:10

Well me personally I wouldn't make my child(ren) pay for school uniform that they lost accidentally.

But in your case of only having £30 to last you the week, the only thing I can think of is maybe borrowing the money from him to buy a new shirt and paying him back once you've got the money.

Original poster
cakedup · 08/10/2016 12:13

Seeing as it's his first year at secondary school, we are both getting used to the fact that it's not as simple a procedure to check lost property. At primary school I would often just go in and look through the lost property myself!

Apparently either lost property gets handed back to the tutor or gets held at the PE lost property department. He has checked both. But I do get the feeling that if I went in and had a proper look, I might find it. AIBU to ask the school if I can do that, or is it not the done thing at secondary school?

OP posts:
GeorgeTheThird · 08/10/2016 12:14

Start of year seven? Yes, make him pay for a third one. He'll get better!

Original poster
cakedup · 08/10/2016 12:14

Amazing MUjunkie!

OP posts:
feetheart · 08/10/2016 12:15

Yanbu - DS is Yr6 and has been told already that once he is at high school I will replace anything once and then he will have to pay.
He is notorious for losing stuff and hopefully this will concentrate his mind!

Original poster
cakedup · 08/10/2016 12:16

MumYourSoCool yes I did consider that as another option. I wouldn't even need to mention it to him. However, it's not like I'll have a whole lot of money the week after either, I'm on an extremely tight budget.

OP posts:
HughGrantsHair · 08/10/2016 12:20

YANBU

£7 is a small amount compared to the savings he has and it will teach him a lesson. Hopefully he'll be more careful in the future.

It's different if they were stolen but he's just not put them back in his bag so he needs to try harder.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/10/2016 12:23

Well with £30 to last you the week. £7 is a big chunk to come out. So YNBU seeing as he has £100+ in his savings.
However. I don't think either of you should have to pay. I think uniforms should be free, personally. Children are forced to go to school, and yet their parents are expected to pay out hand fulls of money. That they often don't have. But That's another thread

MUjunkie · 08/10/2016 12:28

Hahaha Grin cakedup well he certainly learned his lesson! He's much better now! The only thing is pens, pencils etc! No matter how many I buy he's NEVER got any! I just stock up in Poundland now and give him a few at the beginning of the week haha

Goingtobeawesome · 08/10/2016 12:30

Having had lots of kit lost, stolen, I've been in to secondary school and made it clear I would need to look through lost property. There's easily hundreds of pounds of kit without names.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/10/2016 12:31

Before we all start with the 'Well that'll teach him mantra. Are you 100% certain it was his fault. For want of a better word.
Its not been stolen from him has it.

DixieNormas · 08/10/2016 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jessbow · 08/10/2016 12:33

Presume this PE shirt has school LOGO on? Get out your sharpie /Laundry marker and Write his name/initials UNDER THE LOGO, on his chest, really obvious, on his new one., however its purchased

My guess is another boy has the wrong one screwed up in his kit back, and no one reads the label in the neck, next time they are worn.

therootoftheroot · 08/10/2016 12:37

start doing the sewing thing!

you can get a ton of sew in labels quite cheaply
sew them into EVERYTHING
shirts, ties, trousers, jumpers, blazers, p.e kit

writing on the label is not as reliable - it wears off easily and is not obvious

labels sewn in prominent places are much more efficient

yes to making him pay for a replacement

therootoftheroot · 08/10/2016 12:38

there you
www.wovenlabelsuk.com/school-labels/wl-01.html

3.50 for 72-that will last you all the way to year 11!