to be really pissed off at my friend for saying "I'd do her"?

[CoolToned]

This is how he describes women.

To be fair, he's a geeky guy who is probably just compensating from years of being a geek. He's actually a specialist doctor (just finished) and a good person otherwise.

It just disgusts me. I called him on it before and he's back to doing it again.

[Smellslikeoranges]

Agree with you OP and the other posters who have pointed out very articulately that is offensive and horrible. I do not buy the "I am a woman and I use it too" argument.

He's married!!! If I found out that my husband was saying this about other women to other people I would go bonkers. It shows so little respect.

BTW I used to have a friend who used to use the expression "I'd learn her a lesson" in the same context. Vile, vile, vile!

[katemess12]

I've said "I'd go there" more times than I could count.

So yes, I do think YABU. It's nothing. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

[user1471517900]

It's very true that once married you should never ever find anyone attractive ever again.

[SaucyJack]

I'd like to sit down and have an intellectually stimulating conversation about mutual interests with Tom Hardy.

[Nabootique]

I think the arrogance (if he was sort of serious about it) would grate on me if he said it a lot, but generally I wouldn't be bothered.

FWIW I prefer to say "I wouldn't kick him out of bed for making toast crumbs".

[user1471517900]

"I'd do her" isn't arrogant at all. It offers your opinion without stating anything of the other side. Whether the other person would "do you" is irrelevant to the statement.

[Givememorewine]

To be fair, he's a geeky guy who is probably just compensating from years of being a geek

I refuse to agree that it's because he's a geek that he says things like "I'd do her"

Which is it then OP

[CoolToned]

Givememorewine

It means he says those things not because he is a geek, but because he wants to compensate. Because it's not a given that geeks say things like that.

Like I said, I am married to the biggest geek I know. I am a geek. My friends are geek. This is not a geek default.

[LucyLot]

It's no big deal at all.

[CoolToned]

PrivatePike - why is that hard to believe? What does "geek" mean, in your opinion, anyway?

I am married to a software guy. My friends are all in medicine/engineering.

[AverageGayLadAtChristmas]

geeky guy who is probably just compensating from years of being a geek

[hmmm]

OP you say "Because it's not a given that geeks say things like that.

Like I said, I am married to the biggest geek I know. I am a geek. My friends are geek. This is not a geek default.".


But I know a lot of geeks who would say that. so for me I would say it IS a default - but a human one not specifically geek.

He's married!!! If I found out that my husband was saying this about other women to other people I would go bonkers. It shows so little respect.

Erm, It's fine to still find people attractive.. if my boyfriend said to me "Oooh he's fit, I'd do him" then I'd either agree or say "in your dreams". I couldn't care less about a partner finding others attractive, as they find me most attractive - hence the relationship with me not the person they find attractive.

[Mum2twoUnder4]

I'm a straight (ish) woman and I've said this before now.

Calm down love

[amusedbush]

Meh, it's no worse than me saying I'd like to climb Idris Elba like a jungle gym

[AverageGayLadAtChristmas]

Private I'm wearing cool glasses, a hoodie and am playing Sims! Does that count?? AM I A GEEK?

[Lorelei76]

I'm with OP in the sense that geek ceased to be an insult years ago
Also I think there's tons of geeks around and I have one friend who would say most of her friends are geeks

Still a bit mystified by the Urban Dictionary thing - it feels like it's saying - not really.

[Lorelei76]

amused - not what you are thinking of re Idris Elba but as well as being gorgeous, when I see him interviewed I think he seems nice.

though that time he "accidentally" tweeted a bed pic was interesting....

[CoolToned]

AverageGayLad - well I know a lot of geek people who would not say that so no, I don't agree this is a geek default.

[AverageGayLadAtChristmas]

Cool and I totally get that, but I have experienced the opposite. I'm not saying they can't both be true, cause they clearly can..


I'd agree more if he said "She needs a right good fucking, I'd tear her apart" or something along those lines, but "I'd do her" Is, I don't know, nothing really?

[CoolToned]

PrivatePike - so why did you say "aaargh" then? It seemed incredulous.