to be really pissed off at my friend for saying "I'd do her"?

[CoolToned]

This is how he describes women.

To be fair, he's a geeky guy who is probably just compensating from years of being a geek. He's actually a specialist doctor (just finished) and a good person otherwise.

It just disgusts me. I called him on it before and he's back to doing it again.

[CoolToned]

AverageGayLad - a poster earlier said it's just like swearing - some are ok with it, some aren't. For me, I don't like it. I told my friend I don't like him using that language. But he always forgets.

[CoolToned]

PrivatePike - ok. I like saying geek.

[AverageGayLadAtChristmas]

Cool And I respect your opinion :) but then again I swear too much a lot

Maybe he should try harder not to use such language around you, I agree.

[CoolToned]

Lorelei76 - the thing is, most of the time, when he says "I'd do her", it's in the Urban Dictionary context.

[shovetheholly]

I think this is really contextual. If he's saying it about professional colleagues, patients, friends etc with an intent to demean and belittle via objectification, it's not on. If it's said in the sense of "I don't think she's really attractive, but I'd sleep with her" that's also not really OK.

If it's just a joke, I think that's slightly different.

As numerous commentators in the press have pointed out recently, women objectifying men is not the same as men objectifying women, because the underlying power relations (and the real practical consequences of that, e.g. rape) are very different.

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

Oh wow. Yes, I think I we "get" the Urban Dictionary meaning, OP.
Good grief.

[CoolToned]

Oh wow Poppy you should write a book. :)

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

www.bitrebels.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Threadless-Authentic-Imposter-Geek-Image.jpg

Which type. Can we be even more specific?

[CoolToned]

shovetheholly - I don't know. It seems most think it's ok, but yeah, it really bugs me. Especially since I've told him several times that phrase bugs me and he still continues to use it.

[MrsToddsShortcut]

Yuck. I would think less of a male friend who walked around commenting on women like that in front of me. And if he means it in the Urban Dictionary sense, that's even worse - offering her a 'pity' shag becuase she's so unattractive. How very generous of him...

[Lorelei76]

okay, looking at the Urban Dictionary thing again - basically not saying it the way I'd say it - as a "compliment" but saying it in the "cold pizza is better than no pizza" way?

I'm not sure that makes a difference tbh. There are women to whom that applies.

do you think it's more a case that you are disappointed in your friend? I've got friends (female) who would shag almost anyone and that does kind of weird me out, but it's their business.

[CoolToned]

Poppy - yes. JD from Scrubs-geek.

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

Maybe the OP wishes he would offer her some pity.

[CoolToned]

Lorelai - He does other things to (I suspect) look "cool" eventhough most of the times it does not work. But this really annoys me. Maybe you're right, maybe I am disappointed at him.

And yes, it's most of the time in a "cold pizza is better than no pizza" way.

[CoolToned]

AverageGay - thank you for respecting my opinion. :)

[CoolToned]

MrsTodd - glad to know I am not the only one who feel this way about that phrase!

[PageStillNotFound404]

I don't like that particular phrase personally but I have been known to say about X celebrity "I'd bang him like a barn door in a high wind" so I'm a hypocrite, I guess.

Like a PP said, if that's the only way he ever refers to women it's more problematic than if it's just his personal turn of phrase for "ooh, I think she's lovely" and he otherwise talks about women as if they were, you know, actual human beings.

[CoolToned]

PageStillNotFound404 - I guess because he doesn't say this about celebrities but people we interact with daily, it sounds kinda...well, sleazier.

[CoolToned]

To clarify, what I meant was, well, with celebrities, it's like a mirage.

[Nabootique]

This might help Av