To not have moved on from the referendum result?

[Niamer]

Hi. I am a remoaner. I have bored myself with talking about it online and with a couple of likeminded friends.
I was have never been political, was pretty disengaged before the referendum but a 100% gut-feeling kind of a remainer and really expected the vote to go our way.
Felt devastated at the result; I am a believer in working closely with our neighbours, have lived in other Eu countries, have friends here from other EU countries who feel unwelcome etc etc. AND all the attachment to Europe stuff aside, it just seemed a far safer economic option to stay put. Why go for a bumpy ride when you don't even like where you're going? Also felt really cheated when people's reasons for leaving became clear.
I am amazed that some Remainers have just gone quiet and got weary of it all. As far as Leave voters, there has been plenty of "suck it up" comments and total quiet from others. It hasn't been long but time is not healing for me. In fact the Tory conference seemed to take the grimness up a notch. Still so upset and wanting to protest (and have done in every way that I can think of)
I am currently in groups with staunch Remainers like myself, so I know how they are feeling. Outside of that, it isn't an easy topic to discuss. Remainers, Leavers, non-voters, please could you tell me where you're at? TIA

[BubsAndMoo]

Oh, the irony of a Bremainer saying they wouldn't maintain a friendship with someone who voted differently from them because one of their key values is tolerance . Tolerant just so long as we don't have a different opinion from you?

[MaudlinNamechange]

For me it is very hard to accept that it really has to happen. It feels so obvious that it is a disaster and that so much of the Leave campaign was lies. So why does it have to stand? I really honestly do not get that.

I have seen so many negotiations start, looking tentatively like a good idea; get to a certain point; and then get abandoned. It's how negotiations work, the contract isn't signed till it's signed. Just because you said you were interested in a deal, doesn't mean you are committed till you have thrashed the terms out - and if you don't get the terms you want, you don't have to do anything till you've shaken on it. And that's not being unprofessional or dishonest in any way. It's just finding out what you're committing to before you commit to it. And it's how all adults work in anything of any importance.

why are we treating this vast unknown like something we have committed to? when we are so clueless about what it even is? It's the equivalent of being considered to have bought a house when you have just phoned up to arrange a viewing.

But - it's a house that you and your partner were very divided on - because one of you thinks it looks like it is probably about to fall down and the other thinks that that can somehow be put up with because it has various superficially nice aesthetic qualities. So you argue for months about whether this is a good house or a bad house, and the person who wants to see it marginally wins on the day that was chosen to make the decision, so you phone up about booking a viewing, and now you're committed to buying it, even though most of the particulars on the brochure are lies.

[Didactylos]

This is the only thing I have ever agreed with Nigel Farage about: when he was quoted in May
'In a 52-48 referendum this would be unfinished business by a long way'

such a close result in a non binding, advisory referendum with a campaign that was disturbingly manipulative and made a variety of promises revealed to be blatant lies (and disowned by the politicians who made them literally days after the result)
and now having an indirectly elected government and prime minister deciding this is the binding last word in democracy - well, for me its very much unfinished business and I will continue to campaign against it and attempt to hold the politicians responsible to account

[winkywinkola]

I voted remain.

I am disgusted by the nationalistic rhetoric that Is emerging.

Leave voters are going to get a nasty reality check as our economy subsides gently and slowly into global insignificance.

Except they will never accept it is anything to do with Brexit.

I've not yet heard an intelligent, coherent argument for Brexit. Just buzzwords like 'sovereignty' which makes them sound really dumb because not one Leave voter had yet told me how Britain being in the EU has affected them adversely. Just vague comments about GP appointments being hard to to get and school place allocations being tricky. None of which can be directly linked to immigration levels. They just think it is.

Plus the way they accept lying bastards like Johnson et al and yet claim the EU is corrupt. Our own homegrown scoundrels are acceptable?

So yes, I'm pretty pissed off that my country is facing a hard, grim time.

MY country just as much as anyone else.

So sod off telling me to move on when all the politicians can say is"Brexit means Brexit."

Utter and total codswallop. This is my country too and is going to be screwed over.

[Burntcustard]

No, not different opinions, different values. There is a difference.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

Oh, the irony of a Bremainer saying they wouldn't maintain a friendship with someone who voted differently from them because one of their key values is tolerance

Surely that is a contradiction.

I campaigned and voted for remain.

Some of the attitudes that I have seen since the vote on MN to people that voted different ways to them I think is horrible.

The mud slinging, stereotyping is imo disgraceful.

All the talk of getting the result overturned as leave voters 'don't know what's good for them' is a stance I don't like.

OP, like you I didn't like the result, however it is the result and now we need to get the best deals we can.

[cheekyfunkymonkey]

Yanbu it is a huge deal, and not at all like a general election that can be reversed in a few years. It is going to have an impact on generations. The tone of the Tory conference is also I pressingly worrying, but at least we can try to vote them out in a few years, the referendum result can't be undone and that's why it is so hard to move on from. Europe is such an integral part of our culture, and the new culture that's emerging has imo worrying undertones.

[BuggersMuddle]

If anything I'm more upset than immediately after the vote because of the state of our political system and the massive lurch to the right post referendum. I'm not even a left-winger but I find Theresa May's recent speeches worrying.

[purits]

I have not yet come across a single leave voter who had even a faint grasp of how complex the process of leaving is.

Do you not realise that that is precisely the reason why we want out. The EEC/EC/EU was supposed to be a mutual self-help group but it turned into a stranglehold.

[24carrot]

Another remoaner here.

MaudlinNamechange you are spot on about Osborne (and Dave). Where is he now? Enjoying his millions and laughing at us plebs. It's a total scandal that the referendum ever took place - let alone that its result became instantly binding - all because of a bunch of loud-mouthed zealots like Farage and the Tory right. Look at UKIP this week in the news - they are a total joke and yet they've been allowed to control the conversation. My real fear is that the referendum is just a taster of what is still to come - Trump winning the US election. There are so many parallels it's terrifying.

I have to stop thinking about it now or I will get too depressed about the future of this planet for our kids when Trump and all the far-right nutters across Europe are in power.

[PNGirl]

I won't accept it, ever. Sorry. I've heard some absolutely ridiculous justifications for voting leave - friends and relatives in Yorkshire who voted leave to "get rid of all the Muslims" (cause the Indian and Pakistani population of Bradford came from Europe, yeah?)

As someone who works in a company that buys stock in euro, sells freely to European countries with no import tax and employs Dutch and German people, and someone who studied Modern European Languages at uni because I wanted opportunities through freedom of movement, I am praying for a miracle. May ain't it.

I'm also pissed off that when I go to Amsterdam next week 11 euros on beer will cost me 10 quid!

[purits]

It's a total scandal that the referendum ever took place

It's a total scandal that we never had the vote about the Single Market in the first place. It was forced on us by politicians, we had no say.

[Bountybarsyuk]

I am not nearly as upset as I was when it first happened. I can't walk around in a state of stress and paranoia that all my neighbours hate me. I've just carried on normally, and by and large, nothing has happened. That's because nothing has actually happened yet politically really, at least no article has been triggered, no negotiations have started, I expect the shit to hit the fan when the revelation about not being able to trade without free movement really starts to ram home.

I'm also congratulating myself on my foresight in marrying one of 'those awful EU foreigners' because if Brexit is a disaster, my children can leave with their EU passports. Clever me.

I do live in a Remain area though, which probably makes me feel a bit better on a personal level.

[PageStillNotFound404]

YANBU OP. Another Remain voter here who is struggling to move on and see positives.

It just feels as though we've needlessly thrown away so much. We've lost any opportunity we had to work to reform the EU from a position of power. We've chosen isolationism and some vague notion of 'sovereignty' over collaboration and integration. We've - more than likely - condemned ourselves to further long-term austerity. And so much of the campaign was based on lies. Outright, blatant, immediately-retracted lies.

I get that for many people, this was less about the EU and more a general protest at years of feeling disenfranchised and negelected. You only have to see the percentage of Leave votes in areas that benefit most from EU grants. I understand that feeling, I respect it - I've even shared it. I don't assume all Leave voters are stupid or racist. But oh, this was not the forum for that protest, the stakes were far too high. I will forever blame Cameron and his hubris for bringing us to this point.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

I've heard some absolutely ridiculous justifications for voting leave

Tbf whilst campaigning I heard some pretty ridiculous justifications for voting remain.

[PickAChew]

I'm somewhat saddened and disappointed and really fucking embarrassed by my compatriots and their generalised distrust of Johnny Foreigner.

I think I've reached that stage of resignation, though. I'm thinking, OK, if you really must do this, don't completely fuck this up for us, too.

[PageStillNotFound404]

It's a total scandal that we never had the vote about the Single Market in the first place. It was forced on us by politicians, we had no say.

No say apart from the 1975 referendum, you mean? When 67% of those who voted elected to remain in the EEC.

[seekingwisdom4me]

This is interesting, I think it tells us quite a lot. Agree with May's comments about people sneering. There are good reasons for people who aren't even getting the chance to apply for jobs to be resentful and want to at the very least even the playing field. If you or your family aren't in this situation (yet) I can see how it's hard to understand. Personally I think the lists are overkill BUT all jobs should be advertised locally then nationally and if all else fails - internationally. We subsidise many firms in rural areas to bring employment to the locality - so why bring 100% of the employees from another country. It's simply unfair.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/foreign-workers-list-poll-yougov-amber-rudd-plans-immigration-a7348821.html

[seekingwisdom4me]

"Overall, 59 per cent of people say they either strongly or somewhat the proposals, more than double the 26 per cent who said they somewhat or strongly oppose them.

Ms Rudd said firms should declare the percentage of foreign workers they employ as part of a drive to employ more local people.

The policy also garnered favour among Labour voters, with 51 per cent supporting the proposals."

[IPityThePontipines]

YANBU.

It's not helped by seeing several threads on here referring to "illegals". How has that become accepted parlance?

I can't see how a Hard Brexit can be anything other than a disaster, yet TM is chasing it with maniacal zeal.

As for companies having to record the number of foreign voters...

Also, I'm Muslim and apparently significant numbers of people thought that a Leave vote would remove me from the country. That's not good to know either.

[Ruralretreating]

purits the Single Market was a core aim of the EEC from the 1950s. The UK held a referendum on joining in 1975 so did have a say. Not quite sure what you mean by "mutual self help group" but the key aim of the EEC (and the ECSC) was to prevent another world war by binding together through trade the economies of the largest European countries, which is rather more profound and admirable than your description.

[Kurtiz]

It is NOT an overreaction to worry about the rise of xenophobia and far right politics. It is easy to say get over it and get a life to people who voted remain but for many people their lives are already affected. Many people who's lives are not (yet?) affected are able to feel compassion for these groups and care about the situation we may find ourselves in.
I am not suggesting all Brexit voters lack compassion and care, but there are certainly those for whom things only matter when they impact on them directly. I think at the moment its important for everyone to actually question whether that is the type of person they are.

[almondpudding]

I didn't vote because I was undecided. I'm still undecided.

The main issues for me are:

CETA and TTIP.
Possibility of 'European' Army vs. Russia.
The treatment of Greece by the EU.

An issue revealed by Brexit is the division in the country. I now think national identity is very important in the sense of people being informed about the history, culture and contributions of parts of the UK other than their own locality.

[Topseyt]

I am growing more alarmed by the day at direction the Tories are taking under Teresa May.

I am a remainer and I never wanted to leave the EU, but I did hope that if we really were going for brexit then at least it wouldn't be hard brexit.

I was wrong. They are going for hard brexit. After a referendum that was advisory only and not legally binding, but they are acting as if it was. The lunatics are running the asylum!

Added to brexit, there is still the possibility of President Trump across the pond. It kind of feels as though the world is going stark staring mad at the moment.

[indianbackground]

I'm a remainer and still shocked and upset. I feel it is irrational and probably unreasonable to be this upset, but can't change my thoughts or feelings.

I'm British and born in England, do t sound foreign but am of Indian origin. I feel like the country has changed. Had a discussion with a cab driver last week about immigration and Brexit (he raised the subject). He was talking about being very happy about Brexit and there being too much immigration. I just sat there and then said that I wasn't in much of a position to complain about immigration.

I agree that remainers are taking it worse than brexiteers would have. That's because the leave side could have campaigned for a new referendum to leave. It wouldn't have happened for a while but it is there every time there was a new treaty or decision. Once we are out/going out of Europe there is no way back.

Also UKIP Brexiteers would still have had UKIP MEPs thwarting things in the European parliament (maybe that would have changed, but only at the next Mep election.)