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AIBU?

To not have moved on from the referendum result?

1000 replies

Niamer · 06/10/2016 22:04

Hi. I am a remoaner. I have bored myself with talking about it online and with a couple of likeminded friends.
I was have never been political, was pretty disengaged before the referendum but a 100% gut-feeling kind of a remainer and really expected the vote to go our way.
Felt devastated at the result; I am a believer in working closely with our neighbours, have lived in other Eu countries, have friends here from other EU countries who feel unwelcome etc etc. AND all the attachment to Europe stuff aside, it just seemed a far safer economic option to stay put. Why go for a bumpy ride when you don't even like where you're going? Also felt really cheated when people's reasons for leaving became clear.
I am amazed that some Remainers have just gone quiet and got weary of it all. As far as Leave voters, there has been plenty of "suck it up" comments and total quiet from others. It hasn't been long but time is not healing for me. In fact the Tory conference seemed to take the grimness up a notch. Still so upset and wanting to protest (and have done in every way that I can think of)
I am currently in groups with staunch Remainers like myself, so I know how they are feeling. Outside of that, it isn't an easy topic to discuss. Remainers, Leavers, non-voters, please could you tell me where you're at? TIA

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KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 06/10/2016 22:49

It is not democratic to say there has been a vote with one outcome, therefore all with another view must shut up. This should be too obvious to need stating. I refer to the remark I made above about the need to teach our constitution in schools. Some people plainly struggle with the concept of parliamentary democracy.

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Niamer · 06/10/2016 22:50

Whichever way you voted, it really doesnt matter and I dont get why there is a determination on the part of certain Bremainers to be "devastated" as long as possible

It isn't a determination at all. I am challenging myself over why I am feeling like this. I listen to the politicians with interest and hope for some reassurance. Sadly the words of TM just make me say "ugh".

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Neverknowingly · 06/10/2016 22:50

Oh fuck off with your "accept democracy". What like the Leave brigade accepted the democratic decision to join the EU? And we might "accept democracy" better if Vote Leave was being even remotely held accountable for the lies and bullshit they spouted during the campaign. I'm not denying democracy - I'm denying the kind of dirty campaigning and lies that won this referendum.

I'm still not over it OP. Fortunately we have had an offer accepted on our house and will be gone from the UK by Christmas - hopefully we will make it to our new home in the EU in time to get a 5 year residence permit before Art 50 is triggered. If not then fortunately we have a plan B (I'm entitled to an Irish passport) and indeed a Plan C (husband is from outside the EU). But one way or another, England is over for us.

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thecolonelbumminganugget · 06/10/2016 22:51

I'm glad it's not just me. I feel robbed of part of something that was pretty fundamental to my identity. I was born a European and soon I wont be anymore, I won't have some of the freedoms and protections that I am currently entitled to, and to me that's all pretty sad. I do have little cry every now and again about it.

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KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 06/10/2016 22:52

TM doesn't make me say ugh. She frightens me, because although she is extremely competent, it is glaringly obvious that she has no clue how to get us out of this quagmire we have waded into.
She is a smart lady, but she cannot save us if we are determined to leap off the cliff

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ToastDemon · 06/10/2016 22:55

This is petty and childish but I have been hoping that Leave voters currently on holiday in Europe are wincing at the exchange rate.
Unfortunately, like everything else in this sorry disaster, Remain voters are affected too.

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Burntcustard · 06/10/2016 23:00

Unfortunately, Theresa May seems to be going for Brexit with the fervour of a born-again Christian.

I have joined the Lib Dems and am considering becoming actively involved for the first time in my life.

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Niamer · 06/10/2016 23:01

Well I am off to bed now. But thank you all. What has struck me about TM is her total lack of acknowledgement of Remainers ( and of course poor EU citizens here) . When challenged about it in an interview last week, her response was pretty much that we were all OK and had moved on, going to make the best of it. Obviously, we don't have all 16 million of us here to prove or disprove that, but this snapshot seems to suggest that is not quite the case. I think I will remoan a bit more then! I have already joined Libdems and will carry on questioning what is happening. Good luck to all of us in Brexit Britain Flowers.

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LotisBlue · 06/10/2016 23:03

I voted remain. I was and am gutted by the result - I think that we have seriously fucked up our children's futures and I feel sad that they won't grow up with the same advantages as my generation did.

I couldn't muster any interest in supporting our athletes at this summer's Olympics because I feel a bit ashamed to be British at the moment.

I've mostly stopped thinking and talking about the result because it's too depressing.

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Dragongirl10 · 06/10/2016 23:04

l voted leave and am neither ill educated or racist. l would do the same again for the same reasons

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Dragongirl10 · 06/10/2016 23:05

I also see no reason to be disparaging to those who have a different view to mine.

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shirleyknotanotherbot · 06/10/2016 23:08

Another remain voter here. Haven't 'moved on'. More angry (and sad) with every day that passes.

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Ruralretreating · 06/10/2016 23:11

I'm feeling devastated still, and highly concerned at the prospect of hard-Brexit, for economic and personal reasons. Am also horrified at the tone of the Tory conference. Totally fed-up with the "get over it" type comments as well.

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EnthusiasmDisturbed · 06/10/2016 23:11

I voted remian

I think the EU is far from perfect and needs changing but we shall not be part of that now

I feel we have to move forward there won't be another referendum the choice was made by the voters

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AverysillyoldHector · 06/10/2016 23:11

Obviously you think the UK will be worse off economically

I KNOW as I'm already seeing it affect friends and business partners. A close friend lost his business as the cost of his imported stock essentially shot up overnight. Anyone who works with US clients and gets paid in dollars has taken a massive hit, ditto anyone paid in Euros. Another friend is returning to work unexpectedly as her husbands contract work has dried up totally for the first time in 15 years

To be entirely objective, the examples you have given above dont prove that the UK will be worse off economically - it isnt possible to 'know' from a few examples. In general, the economy is coping well so far, and much better than most expected. Guardian article here.

We don't actually know how it is going to turn out yet...

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dovesong · 06/10/2016 23:11

I haven't moved on. Still terribly sad. (Remainer, obviously.)

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bananafish · 06/10/2016 23:12

I still feel pretty gloomy and depressed about it.

The Brexiters have certainly 'got their country back' but it's at the expense of the country I thought I knew and loved.

Also it means my life is changing quite unexpectedly. DH is not from the UK; the children and I qualify for dual nationality by virtue of him - so we're plannig to leave by 2018. It's not what I wanted to do, necessarily, but we don't feel we have much choice. The children aren't just English - we want them to have the same opportunities to live, work and study as their European cousins.

Also, we're not part of the 'ordinary working class' Hmm that TM keeps championing (in words, if not in deeds).

It's all very disheartening.

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Waytogojo · 06/10/2016 23:15

I don't get this 'I felt European' I've never met anyone who says 'my names Jo and I'm a European'. When I'm in Europe, people introduce themselves as French, German, Italian. Why is it shabby to be British? Also, geographically we haven't shifted, we are part of Europe. We are just parting from a political union made up of lots of separate countries all of whom have their own national identities.

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StarryIllusion · 06/10/2016 23:16

I don't think that it is that people don't care anymore but what do you want them to do? The decision is made, what will be will be. We're making the best of it and trying to stay positive but if anyone thinks morale would be better served by everyone roaming the streets weeping, crack on.

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HardcoreLadyType · 06/10/2016 23:22

I understand people think differently and were disappointed but 'devestated'? Really? Get a grip, and a life.

Overreaction, much?

I think many leavers don't understand how strongly many remainers feel about Europe. I felt physically ill for the first week, and am still very upset that this is happening.

It's not just that I am worried about house prices falling, and my business shrinking, as clients go out of business, although it's partly that. I feel like I have lost a huge part of my identity.

I feel very angry at Cameron and Osbourne. If it weren't for their utterly divisive austerity policy, many people wouldn't have felt so hopeless, and wouldn't have been so inclined to vote for "not this".

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MaudlinNamechange · 06/10/2016 23:25

I am still gutted and it's getting worse.
I am genuinely frightened at the port-fascist stuff being said at the Tory party conference.
I also do not understand what on earth May is doing with "hard brexit" when a. the result was actually pretty narrow and b. the result was based on a lot of lies. I can't understand how she can be pursuing that road and she has not been elected as PM.

It is a bitter irony that, far too late, there is talk of easing back on austerity.

I blame austerity for this. It was a ridiculous vanity project of a nasty little oaf who had no idea what it would be like to live with the results of his policies, dreamed up as a game.

Austerity was based on a lie, or a series of connected lies. Lies like: you need to live under very tough conditions because there isn't enough for everyone in this country. Lies like: we're all in it together. Lies like: we can't afford for you to have a job that pays a living wage because Gordon Brown spent all the money and now there is none left. Lies like: you can't get a GP appointment, your DLA is suspended, you have no library to go to, but it's all fine, because in some weird dark twisted way you deserve it for being poor.

Anyway. There is a big set of people who recognised instinctively that these were lies; they knew there is enough to go around, that Britain is a well off country; they knew they were being unjustly punished; they knew they don't deserve to have unremittingly shit lives; they know that the pain was not being dealt out equally, we are not all in this together. And they were offered a button to press, a button of rejection or objection, and they pressed it.



and now here we are.

That nasty little shit Osborne, if he were here now I'd verbally destroy him. he might have said he was for Remain, but he fucked everything by punishing so many people, year after year after year. Just for a laugh, a stupid arbitrary formal challenge that he invented for a game. nasty little spiv.

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MaudlinNamechange · 06/10/2016 23:26

x-posts, hardcore!

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Burntcustard · 06/10/2016 23:26

Its not a question just of different views but fundamentally different values and outlook on life and that is why it's not possible to easily shrug our shoulders and say that's life.

It's also personal as DH who has lived here 20 years would need to be on the foreigner list of shame. Without the EU, my DH would not be here and so my babies would not exist. But clearly there are lots of people who resent their very presence (foreign accents make them uncomfortable) and want them out. That I cannot and will not ever respect.

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WifeofDarth · 06/10/2016 23:27

Sigh. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
The rapidity of change in attitudes has shocked me, I thought we'd have a couple of years to get our ducks in a row.
Have spent this evening collecting info for DH's British Citizenship application. He's going to job interviews this month and I want him to be able to say 'citizenship application in progress' in the hope that his nationality doesn't work against him.

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GladAllOver · 06/10/2016 23:27

I voted Remain and am still miserable at what has become of my country. When Brexiters say I shouldn't have believed project fear I want to strangle them. I didn't vote remain out of fear. I wanted to remain in Europe.

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