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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if it's bonkers to have a baby and toddler in a 1 bed flat.

127 replies

jessica29054 · 06/10/2016 18:49

It probably is bonkers.

DH has a flat and tried to sell it but no takers. We were thinking about renting it out but in all honesty the best solution would probably be to rent our current property out and move into the flat. This would undoubtedly be the most cost effective thing to do.

However, we have one under-one and hope to add to our family at some point soon, probably in around 2018.

So - is it nuts?

OP posts:

Witchend · 07/10/2016 09:11

Possibly depends on the 1 bed flat. It would have been very difficult in the 1 bed we were in after marriage-we had 1 bedroom, 1 good sized lounge/diner and a tiny kitchen. (and bathroom)
You couldn't have fitted a cot and a double bed and a toddler bed in the bedroom, so someone would have had to sleep in the lounge/diner.
However a friend has a 1 bed which has a separate lounge and dining room and a good sized kitchen and a nice sized balcony (with very safe fencing). She put a breakfast bar into the kitchen and they eat there most of the time allowing them to use the dining room as a spare bedroom.

AntiHop · 07/10/2016 09:22

If the flat isn't selling then the price is too high. Personally I'd drop the price and continue to live where you are. I share a bedroom with toddler dd.

We'd love another child but we can't fit another bed of cot in the bedroom. Also I'd worry about where to put the extra washing. It's hard enough to get our washing dry indoors with 3 of us. Another issue to consider is how do you get upstairs if the baby is asleep. It's fine when they're small enough to sleep in a sling which I managed until dd was about 14 months. Now I can just about carry her upstairs in the pushchair. Could you manage that with a baby and a toddler?

BarbarianMum · 07/10/2016 09:28

Ok, so if living there for a few years allowed you to afford your second child, then yes I'd strongly consider it. I suggest you are v. v. minimalist with stuff though - nothing makes you feel cramped like piles of stuff everywhere. Also, are there enough things to do locally (library, cafe, park, museum, dreaded soft play) that mean you can get out and about each day? Your under 1 is going to have a huge amount of energy to burn off soon and kids running around in flat conversions sound like elephants.

canihaveacoffeeplease · 07/10/2016 09:28

We have a 1 bed cottage, 1dd (20 months) and I'm 6 months pregnant. Dd has a very tiny (big enough for cot and wardrobe, and that's about it) box room, and we are planning to have new baby in with us as long as necessary. We have a new 'house', but it's an old Masonic lodge requiring complete conversion, change of use etc- we are currently going through planning permission, hoping to start building in January and be in by next Christmas. It will be a tight year but we'll be fine! As long as you have a plan for the future and are aware it can't work forever there is no issue at all in my opinion!

liz70 · 07/10/2016 09:29

Yes, it's possible. I would get a good quality sofa bed for yourself and DH in the living room. Then the bedroom can be given over to the DC. If DC2 is the same sex as DC1 then even easier as they can share till a late age (my DDs 1 and 2 shared till they were 12 and 11). If not you still have a few years before they need separate rooms - I shared with DB till we were 7 and 5 - by which time hopefully you'll have moved to a bigger place. Meanwhile perhaps use a screen to divide the bedroom if it's large enough.

It's doable, but you need to be realistic about expectations (in a 3 bed house with 3 DDs ourselves; DH and I sleep on sofa bed in sitting room).

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 07/10/2016 09:34

We have a (very) small 3 bed semi with a 2 year old and a baby. I'm already anxious how long we can stay but circumstances dictate we can't move for another year or two.
Our front room is full of shite a jumperoo, walker, dancing tower, toddler table, toy boxes etc and it's constantly a mess. Tumble dryer in diner coz it won't fit anywhere else and I couldn't live without one. It's not just the people, it's stuff! Everyone has to be clothed etc. Of course it's possible, people cope in worse situations, but you may be miserable?

liz70 · 07/10/2016 09:41

Oh, and if both DC are same sex then I definitely recommend bunk beds to save space - the sort that can separate into single beds later if need be.

ItsTimeForDuggee · 07/10/2016 09:49

I lived in a two bedroom flat with ds for 4 years I moved in when he was 6 months. I hated it after about a year it was horrid. I would never live in a flat again while I had children. It might be because of the way my flat was laid out but it felt suffocating we had no space couldn't hang washing anywhere and had to use the tumble dryer all the time. The kitchen and living room were open plan so could constantly see the kitchen which meant it needed cleaning all the time. just had very little space and no place to escape.

Original poster

jessica29054 · 07/10/2016 09:59

We wouldn't be staying beyond the oldest starting school liz so wouldn't need/want bunk beds (I don't really like them!)

OP posts:

GizmoFrisby · 07/10/2016 10:05

Can you not auction the flat to get rid if there's such high demand?? I'd try and weigh up the pros and cons. I personally wouldn't like to live in a flat at all

NameChange30 · 07/10/2016 10:13

In your position I would keep trying to sell the flat, give it another month or so, and then if it still hasn't sold, rent out the flat (not your house).

I would hate to rent out my family home, the tenants might not look after it as well as we would, and it would feel really weird to move back in.

Could you wait to TTC until DC1 will be entitled to some free childcare? If I remember rightly I think the government is introducing 30 hours free in some areas. You might also be able to save money by getting childcare vouchers from your employer. And if your household income goes below a certain level while you're on mat leave, you might be entitled to Child Tax Credits during that time.

BlindAssassin1 · 07/10/2016 10:18

We were in a tiny one bed house with a toddler and new born baby for 6 months. It was not something I would repeat. Ever. Constantly having to tip toe around so no one gets woken up, difficulty moving around the bedroom with a cot bed, a cot and double bed, everything was cluttered even though we didn't actually have a lot of stuff. Then if we were shut in the house with illness, or just being to knackered to get out with two small DC, it was beyond claustrophobic.

PrimalLass · 07/10/2016 10:18

Yeah but did they have friends over when they were two, Notso?

My kids did.

PrimalLass · 07/10/2016 10:22

Never go in the garden anyway really

But it will be a godsend when your child starts walking. Sandpit, little slide, water toys ...

NameChange30 · 07/10/2016 10:28

Gardens are also handy for hanging out washing in the warmer half of the year. And in the colder half of the year, it's useful to have somewhere inside to hang it. You wouldn't have space for that in a one bedroom flat with two adults and two young kids.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 07/10/2016 10:35

Depends on the size of the flat/rooms. Is the living room big? Does it have high ceilings? If so then I'd give the kids the bedroom and utilise the space above you by having a loft bed in the living room (not a sofa bed - you'd get sick of having to move the coffee table/furniture every night).

Have you considered where you'd keep all your clothes etc. though? A possibility would be to get a platform built rather than just a loft bed, then have a mattress on it and a chest of drawers (my auntie did this - a platform held up by scaffolding poles, very industrial chic!)

Artandco · 07/10/2016 11:10

Yes we are in London hence lots around to do

We have a set of bunk beds in our room. Neither sleep on the top as prefer sharing the bottom together so could have just bought a single really

daisypond · 07/10/2016 11:34

I think it's doable. I know a few people who have done this. One friend of mine lived in studio flat, so no bedroom at all, with partner and two children. Could you subdivide the bedroom at all, even if it's just with a curtain, to create in effect two bedrooms?

londonrach · 07/10/2016 11:37

Sadly v normal in london. A squeeze but doable. Need a long term plan through to get a 2 bed as 2 adults, 2 teenagers in a 1 bed!

Lorelei76 · 07/10/2016 11:41

OP, did you say you have a garden atm and don't use it? May I use it?

MadAsABagOfCats · 07/10/2016 11:48

Can you remodel the space of the flat? It'll be fine while the dc are young and you can work on finding a more suitable place by the time the dc are older. The most important thing is to have a roof over your heads, you can work on everything else.

LucyLot · 07/10/2016 11:49

Four people in one bedroom is grossly overcrowded and not something I would choose to do. I wouldn't choose to downsize into a completely unsuitable property for my family unless I couldn't afford to stay where I was.

daisypond · 07/10/2016 12:08

No, Lucy, it's not even overcrowded, never mind grossly overcrowded. Here's Shelter's definition:

How to calculate statutory overcrowding: number of rooms
Your home should have a separate room to sleep in for each:

couple
single adult aged 21 or older
two young people of the opposite sex aged 10 or over
The room standard says your home is legally overcrowded if it doesn't have this.

Children under 10 years old are not counted.

Your bedrooms and any living rooms are counted as rooms you can sleep in. It doesn't matter which rooms you actually sleep in.

Under the room standard, a couple with a boy and a girl aged under the age of 10 in a one bedroom flat are not overcrowded.

Binkybix · 07/10/2016 12:57

With good sleepers, possibly. With my two, no way. We separate them by a floor and they still wake each other up. Yawn.

Hope you work something out OP - worrying about this sort of thing is a pain.

Original poster

jessica29054 · 07/10/2016 13:47

Thanks. We're not entitled to CTC or anything other than some CB. It's more circumstantial - have assets in terms of property but not a huge amount of cash. Fine at the moment but would struggle with two.

I mean I can quite see objections to school age children squashed in but babies are more portable :)

OP posts:

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