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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if it's bonkers to have a baby and toddler in a 1 bed flat.

127 replies

jessica29054 · 06/10/2016 18:49

It probably is bonkers.

DH has a flat and tried to sell it but no takers. We were thinking about renting it out but in all honesty the best solution would probably be to rent our current property out and move into the flat. This would undoubtedly be the most cost effective thing to do.

However, we have one under-one and hope to add to our family at some point soon, probably in around 2018.

So - is it nuts?

OP posts:
Ellieboolou27 · 06/10/2016 21:30

I did it (with a small dog too)! It was only for a few months but I don't think I could have done it for longer than six months.
It's not bonkers, people have kids without even a place to live!
Go for it but have a plan in place for a bigger place in the near future.

letmepeeinpeace · 06/10/2016 21:36

I live in a 3 bed (very noisy) flat. It's me and three kids. It's pokey but it works. Just wish upstairs and downstairs were more respectful

Artandco · 06/10/2016 21:37

Nicky - we still go outside when it's cold. But we have indoor swimming, climbing walls, indoor tennis courts, museums, galleries, shows etc to go to also.

NickyEds · 06/10/2016 21:47

Yes op it is rubbish. I think it would be doable though. If you can afford another child in the long term I wouldn't let a couple of years in a flat stop you.

minipie · 06/10/2016 22:45

Artandco what do you do when one of you is ill? Surely you have to stay home then... and what about sleep?

TheNoodlesIncident · 06/10/2016 22:58

If you leave dc number two til 2018, that gives you a good chunk of time to save up while living in the flat you're hoping to sell. One bed flats don't sell as quickly as two or more, which I'm sure you know, but if it takes two years to sell you'll have had that time to save for the expense of the next child. Plus the benefit of renting out your current property.

I would probably take the route you're thinking of OP, if your current property will rent easily. You won't be cramped in the flat as two adults and a toddler - the baby still being hypothetical. If the baby turns up unplanned then you could move back to your current property (if that's bigger than the flat). And if the flat doesn't look like selling in the timescale then reduce the asking price until you get a buyer.

Lorelei76 · 06/10/2016 23:41

I live alone in a small flat
This sounds like hell! Also I was the kid who was often ill and I shared a room with my poor sister...at least my folks were able to take me to their room. I guess that will still happen as you've got a lounge though.

Being somewhat obsessed with property prices, I wonder if your partner's flat is realistically priced? I also wonder what happens when you're cooped up in there in bad weather, much easier to have more space then surely.

user1471545174 · 07/10/2016 06:43

Not great for neighbour relations. If the flat is owned, disputes need to be avoided to keep it saleable.

Mol1628 · 07/10/2016 06:54

I wouldn't be able to cope. Under 1s aren't as noisy or messy as a toddler and I need SPACE. I find living with two young children stressful in our fairly big house. I couldn't cope in a smaller flat.

heron98 · 07/10/2016 06:55

It depends on the flat.

We live in a one bed flat but it's really big as it's the basement of a Victorian house that's been converted. The living room and bedroom are huge with high ceilings and we have a big hallway that's almost like another room in itself.

The kitchen and bathroom are pretty tiny but nothing too awful.

We were living in a back to back before that and although that was a house it felt much smaller.

Artandco · 07/10/2016 06:57

Mini - whoever is ill can just stay in the bedroom, and everyone else can use the living areas all day. Surely that's what most people do

SprogletsMum · 07/10/2016 07:00

I think with 2 under 5s it'd be a squeeze but doable. I probably wouldn't if it was the long term plan though.
We're going to have 4 children and 2 adults in a 3 bedroom house, the smallest room is 6ftx5ft so barely even a bedroom but our living space is plenty big enough and we have no plans to move.

ConvincingLiar · 07/10/2016 07:09

Why didn't the flat sell? Surely nearly everything will sell if you price it realistically.

NapQueen · 07/10/2016 07:12

Can you stay where you are but wait till dc1 is in full time school before #2?

DetailedConfusion · 07/10/2016 07:33

Personally yes, I think you'd be nuts.

Long term it wouldn't work...having a 3 and 5 year old in a one bed flat would drive you nuts.

Could you rent out both your house and the flat and rent something else priced in the middle? A two bed flat?

Mumberjack · 07/10/2016 07:43

One of my relatives lived in a one bed flat until recently with two kids, the elder of whom is 7. They're now in a bigger house. i always felt claustrophobic in their home even after an hour, just toys and stuff everywhere and they felt all stuff in the bedroom was fair game so would haul bedcovers off their parents bed, jump about etc all the time and fight for their own space. They were little shits but don't know if it was related to the property size or if they'd be shits regardless Grin

TellMeStraight · 07/10/2016 07:52

Do you have to decide now what's best for the one day you might have 2 DCs?

For now you have one tiny DC. Who presumably would be in your room still anyway?

Just go for it and see how it goes. Worry about what to do with 2 DCs when you have one.

Having said that, we sold our 900sq ft cottage because it was driving me insane being there with two young DC. It was driving everyone insane. We could barely move for people, washing and toys. But I'm sure someone far more organised and tidier than I am could have made it work.

galaxygirl45 · 07/10/2016 07:59

We lived in the 2 bed flat about my husbands business with our 3 kids (all were under 5). We had to sell the house to buy the premises else he'd have had to move, so had zero choice. It had a metal external staircase, tiny courtyard and parking on a main road. But you know what, we loved all being there. Daddy was downstairs and used to come up for lunch most days, and it was a short walk to school/playgroup. 2 eldest had bunk beds, and baby was in with us. We were there for 3 years altogether before we had a deposit to buy a house again but it wasn't a negative experience at all. DH incorporated the flat into the showroom when we moved and it's only when I go back there now that I realise how small it was.........!!

Original poster
jessica29054 · 07/10/2016 08:33

No I know long term it wouldn't work of course. I'm not suggesting cramming school age children into the flat.

Rents are expensive so I don't think we'd be able to save much of anything if we rented.

OP posts:
HyacinthFuckit · 07/10/2016 08:50

People manage but it isn't something I'd ever choose. Like pp I think the number of bedrooms is a bit of a red herring. Its the fact that the space itself is small. You'll find toddlers are a different kettle of fish even to mobile babies and you might well find more use for a garden in the near future. I mean, you could probably make it work but imho it'd need to be very worth it.

Ragwort · 07/10/2016 08:51

I would find it very difficult; ArtandCo - do you live in London? Where we live, rural backwater, there are no decent places to go in the day or after school that don't cost a lot of money ie; no museums, galleries, library has very restricted opening times, swimming pool very odd hours (& expensive).

Personally I like spending a lot of time on my own - reading perhaps if DH & DS are watching TV; I do a lot of paperwork that I need peace & quiet for; I also prefer to sleep on my own (we have 5 bedrooms for 3 of us Blush). Park is fine if weather is OK.

Of course, it is possible for 3/4 people to live in a one bedroom flat but it is really not something I would ever deliberately choose.

BarbarianMum · 07/10/2016 09:00

Why is it better to rent out the house you are in now than rent out or sell the flat? Why hasn't it sold, do you think?

I mean, you could do it - plenty of people deal with worse. But I'm struggling to see why this would be your preferred option.

dailymaillazyjournos · 07/10/2016 09:04

Well you could but i don't think it would be easy,

I live in a 1 bed flat. When DD, DSIL & DGD come to stay the place resembles one of those worksheets you used to get on health and safety courses, where you had to put a ring round every hazard you spotted. There wasn't space to blink. I have one large storage cupboard which is pretty near full at the best of times. You would need very clever storage arrangements or you'd end up with stuff everywhere.

The other thing is if you have a disagreement or if someone is unwell, you can't get a bit of space from one another. It rules out guests staying or if they do, not for long.

.

Original poster
jessica29054 · 07/10/2016 09:06

Barbarian we'd get a lot more money from renting the house out than the flat. I just think there's not much demand for one bed flats in that area.

I think it sounds like Art lives in a penthouse so can see you might be able to have two school age children in there then.

OP posts:
thecatsarecrazy · 07/10/2016 09:09

It what you make of it really. If you don't have lots of crap and clutter you could be ok. We live in a 2 bed, I'm expecting my 3rd so there will be 5 of us in a 2 bed. I have no plans to move. There are people far worse off. We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our bellies.