I'll try to cut a long story short. I am half English and half German. My parents were told that I didn't need dual nationality at birth as all of Europe would be come one and dual nationality within Europe wouldn't be a 'thing'. So I have always been British.
I have never fitted in with my English family, more in looks than anything, (I am short, red headed and very fair) it wasn't until I met my more extended German family I finally felt like I had a place within my family.
At school I was literally beaten for being German (my maiden name was a give away) Children in my neighbourhood were also fond of regularly beating me within an inch of my life. To make matters worse my parents put me in the middle of their differences, in making me choose between them and their methods on how to deal with the problem. I tried to commit suicide at 13.
Thanks to my Nan and my karate instructor, I somehow made it back on the road to normality. Among other things they taught me to be proud of who I am, and where I have come from, the struggles and my German heritage. 2 years ago I moved to Germany with my family. My children identify with being German more than English and both are almost fluent. During the EU referendum I was appalled by the hatred and xenophobia and decided that I do truly identify with being German and as such decided to formalise my German citizenship. In response to this, my Grandfather has publicly disowned me. That I have sided with the enemy and he hopes I find out the 'true nature of Germans'.
My parents have just been to the UK for a visit, my Grandad has said Germans are not welcome in his house and while my Mum can visit my Father no longer can - because of my decision. My brother had to be vetted before he was allowed to visit, in that he had to confirm he is not seeking a German passport. I have to be honest I am more than a little upset that my immediate family are not bothered that I am being treated for something I am legally entitled to, or the horrific way my Grandad has chosen to speak to me.
This is the question though, baring everything in mind. My Mum has asked that I keep quiet about the whole German thing, that I make no public statements about how I feel about my nationality. She is angry at me for putting her in the middle. AIBU in thinking that I shouldn't have to feel ashamed, that I should be allowed to be proud of who I am?
AIBU?
To not be ashamed.
sugarplumfairy28 · 03/10/2016 20:15
Because my family is full of shit stirrers I have my Facebook locked down. Some things I post for all to see and I out the vanilla stuff up there, most things I post excluding family and those shit stirrers who are associated with the related shit stirrers (because once I posted about a nice trip to see a friend, and that was taken as an insult to someone 
). Facebook groupings can be your friend here.
Can't help with your dm though, it's a horrible attitude she has 
I agree this has less to do with nationality and more with ingrained dysfunctional family relationships.
I think if you were able to move out, day to day living would probably improve.
And lock down your FB (FB hater here 
)!
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