To be hurt that my parents would rather go on holiday with their friends than us

[mayaknew]

I know I am I. Just can't help feel hurt. I'll try to put this as simply as I can. I'd also like to point out I am delighted they are going it's just the way this all happened that makes me feel hurt.

So my parents go on holiday with their friends and their friends dcs every year (the dcs being children/teens). They've asked us to go a few times but we haven't because we would rather save for a few years and go to florida rather than paying a fortune and go on a holiday we weren't really fussy about.

My mums never been bothered either way but my dad was absolutely adamant he couldn't do a transatlantic flight. We will go eventually ourselves but I just think it would be better if we went as a big family my parents are like a second set of parents to my dcs they adore them and I know they would have an amazing time if they were there.

So anyway after giving up on them coming to florida we decided we would go on my parents normal holiday with them next year then save for florida and go when all dcs in school.

We have just found out my parents have just booked to go to NY with their friends and the friends dcs for a few days next year. So I've been asking them to go to America for years and been told categorically it won't happen, but their mates ask them and it's booked within the hour. I jusy said to DH is nice to know where I am in the pecking order.

I'd just like to point out that I don't care that they're going to NY, or that they wouldn't come to florida with us, as stand alone occurrences, but the fact that for years I've heard "oh maya we'd love nothing more than to come to florida with you and the dcs but I just couldn't do that flight" then hear he's miraculously able to fly to new York no bother the first time their mates even mention the idea. It's just a bit hurtful.

Chardonnay maybe but again they could've just said so. Obviously I don't know their exact bank balance but they are fairly well off. Well not well off but they do well. That's why I can be honest with them and say I don't want to go on their regular holiday because it's nothing to them but to me it's a massive luxury I wouldn't want to squeeze myself for when it's not really what I want. Well until this year when I caved then they ditched me anyway

A7 I know what that looks like but what I mean buy that is that the dcs are very comfortable with them they see them regularly and they have a lot of say I'm how they are raised.

maya and olennis

Flight duration website shows 6 hours 50 min for NY and between 9 hours and 9 hours 50 depending on which bit of Florida you are going to!

So, quite a difference. Actually, just looking at a map will tell you it's going to be shorter to NY 😉

I think you may be looking at the return leg for NY to London, which is considerably quicker (wind behind you!) and of course the same is true for the Florida flight.

Adner we aren't London. I'm gonna check again. Tbf I knew NY wouldn't be quite as long as florida. My geography is shit but it's not that bad😂

Whether it is longer to Florida than NY is less important than whether your parents thought it would be longer! They might have been talked into the trip with the suggestion that NY is only a few hours' hop, which a lot of people are likely to believe.

I think you are being a wee bit U. But you seem so nice that I don't want to hurt your feelings, but here goes...

I think 'the like a second parent' comment was quite telling .I had a very similar setup with my grandparents as a kid, to a degree that if fell over and cut my knee I'd cry for my gran not my mum if thery were both there).

It is only looking back that I realised how exhausting it must have been for my grandparents when we went on holiday (Rhyl, not Florida mind you) in the sense that they had to do the grunt work of parenting in their 60s and 70s, arbitrating between me and my sister after many squabbles, taking us to the shower block on the campsite, puttiing plasters on grazed knees, sorting out outfits for the day.

I think they would worry that they'd spend a very expensive holiday queing for rides in the heat of Florida acting like surrogate parents when their child rearing days are over.