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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have wanted more than toast?

400 replies

Womenareliketeabags · 01/10/2016 17:17

First time posting in AIBU so please be kind and I'm prepared to accept I am.

A few weeks ago I had a planned home birth, birth went well until the placenta was delivered at which point I had a large haemorrhage and was rushed to the nearest labour ward in an ambulance. By the time I had been sorted and I got my coffee and toast it was 01.30am and I hadn't eaten since lunch at 12.30pmish so I was very very hungry! Coffee and toast was lovely. However it did not ease my hunger, the kind midwife offered to see if they had a spare sandwich lying around, there wasn't so she made me some more toast. As I had been rushed in I didn't have my purse and my hospital bag only had very basic stuff, was middle of the night and DH had left at this point so I had no way of getting food from else where.

AIBU to think that labour wards should be able to access food for women at all hours of the day and night?

OP posts:
Helpisathand13 · 02/10/2016 17:34

I'm sure we all have tales of 'well all I got was...' Or 'i did great because I got...' I think we set our expectations far too low. I do not think it is at all unreasonable to expect hospital care to include nutrition. Of course people pack snacks and bits to suit their personal taste and dietary needs (circumstance
permitting) but surely if not fruit, cereal bars or long life energy foods should be available at all times in hospital. That wouldn't take any prep time nor perish too quickly.

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 02/10/2016 17:41

YANBU

Just because other posters had shitter experiences it doesn't mean every fucker else has to have a similar one too other wise they ABU. What the fuck is up with some women on here Hmm

OP I think the general care of birthing mothers is actually really fucking terrible these days. You don't get looked after properly, mentally or physically and are expected to STFU and get up and out ASAP. Post natel care is awful too. It makes it really hard to change this though especially when other women have one man up manship on shitty experiences instead of sympathising and supporting each other.

CandODad · 02/10/2016 17:44

Margo usually it's on request to fit that time of day and it's cooked by one of the detention officers. No external caterers required.

Guitargirl · 02/10/2016 18:01

I keep reading about post-partum toast on MN.

I had an emergency section with DD and was in for 2 nights. Nobody told me that there was somewhere you could go and pick up breakfast and to be honest I was in no fit state to get out of bed, I was bleeding so badly. A jug of water was brought to me on day 2.

I was back in the same hospital for DS's birth 2 years later which was much less traumatic and I had my wits about to me to ask about breakfast that time.

emmyhNL · 02/10/2016 18:02

It's one reason I packed my go bag with enough snacks to last us both for days! I had eat natural bars, crackers, rice crackers... Everything! I only received 1 slice bread and some thin ham for the first day. I sent DH home the first night with instructions for what food to bring back!

DeliaClartpepperTheThird · 02/10/2016 18:06

I started labour in lovely birthing unit where they had choice of ready meals. But ended up upstairs on ward due to complications. There i was given slice of toast and cup of tea. Both left just out of reach while I had baby in arms. I was attached to catheter and unable to reach call button. Starving knackered and terrified I'd fall asleep and drop baby. Someone eventually came to check on me after few hours...

Bearall · 02/10/2016 18:10

No absolutely not you got a hot drink and toast it's not the midwives place to feed you I'm afraid they are there to make sure baby arrives safely without complication not to be on hand to give you a slap up meal afterwards

Ivydalegirl · 02/10/2016 18:10

Good grief OP, just when I thought I had heard it all!

PinkSwimGoggles · 02/10/2016 18:12

it's not the midwives place to feed you

it absolutely bloody is. they provide the care on labour ward and medical care includes nutrition.

SweetGrapes · 02/10/2016 18:17

Well, how about a decent vending machine and a change machine?

Sure, it's not the mid wives job but on the other hand people need to eat - specially after giving birth! It wouldn't be okay to leave someone hungry after running a marathon would it?

I loved the tea and toast - but was shocked how easy it was to get missed for meals - this when I had good normal deliveries and no problems. Someone who had a bit more problem would get left hungry very easily.

Maybe the Bounty ladies could do something useful!

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 18:34

So whose job is it to feed a hospital.patient, attached to a drip, recovering from the serious medical condition pre-eclampsia, whose relatives including partner have been TOLD to vacate the ward, who is hungry and immobile, and trying to breastfeed a new born?

Just wondering.

timeforabrewnow · 02/10/2016 18:35

Can I point out that you're getting free healthcare and staff are there to ensure your baby is safe and that you are safe?

If people are so concerned about their food - go private and see how enjoyable it is to pay for every single paracetamol and baby bottle etc.

Entitled much? Yup. Your DH was there - could he have gone out to the 24 hour place?

Maybe the midwife has to look after lots of other women/babies too and you were pretty lucky getting extra toast.

Bring some peanut butter or cheese spread in next time to avoid any further disappointments. And that goes out to all the other people on this thread who think that midwives and nursing staff should be heating up ready meals day or night whenever the patients fancy something.

No doubt there would then be complaints about the food being not heated up properly and the patient getting food poisoning or something. Arrghhh.

timeforabrewnow · 02/10/2016 18:39

Oh and yes - I had 3 kids, and each time brought snacks for myself in case I got hungry eg cereal bars and packets of hula hoops and some apples.

Amazingly didn't feel hard done by at all and had excellent care and great meals whilst in hospital.

CandODad · 02/10/2016 18:40

Who said slap up meal? At most what has being spoken of is a choice of micro meals? Attitudes of some people amaze me. But then again those that don't think feeding is an issue prob had pfb toilet trained by the time they left the ward after feeding the whole ward on a full roast.

nannybeach · 02/10/2016 18:46

Depends on the size of the Hospital, (I worked in them for 40 years) back in the day, each ward had its own kitchen, we could usually rustle up something, but it was likelly to be tea, toast, soup, biscuits. The Hospital I worked in till last year we had a nigt cook from 11.30, to 2.30, patients were allowed access to this facility, but it was stopped a few years ago, to save money I assume.We usually had sandwiches, cakes, fruit on the little ward kitchen.

neonrainbow · 02/10/2016 18:50

What the fuck else is a midwife for if not to look after women who are about to, are currently, or have just given birth? Of course that includes making sure they eat! This is one of the reasons why the nhs is slowly being dismantled - extremely low expectations of what the government should be providing via the nhs! People should be able to expect nutritious food as an in patient.

AWitchCalledMeg · 02/10/2016 18:51

Not unreasonable at all but there are plenty of people who would say you are. Your body is in overdrive producing vital colostrum/breastmilk and I think it's disgraceful there is not more food provided. No wonder so many woman have supply issues

wheresthel1ght · 02/10/2016 18:54

Sorry yabvu

I was Nik by mouth for my whole 36 hour induction. Not a drink or food. Once it was all done and I had had dd all they could offer me was tea and toast. I was bloody great fil.

It's a hospital not a hotel with 24hr room service

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 18:54

MN is such a weird place sometimes, you never know how a thread will go.

I seem to be in the minority here but I definitely don't think a woman who's just gone through labour and had a life threatening emergency wanting more than just toast (and she suggested a frozen ready meal, hardly a three course gourmet dinner!) in the eight or so hours until breakfast, after her DH has been sent home, is being unreasonable.

Lovelywarmbath · 02/10/2016 18:55

I didn't eat a single thing, not even a biscuit from 5pm Thursday until 2am in the morning Saturday.
Extremely difficult touch and go multiple birth. I was so grateful that we were all alive the last thing on my mind was whether or not I was having or getting enough to eat.
I was also in so much pain (yes afterwards) that I couldn't have eaten.

MargoReadbetter · 02/10/2016 18:55

CandODad - that's simply not the case about all people in custody. My local police station (which is also the largest in the area) has outsourced this to a private outside company and they do microwave only and it's not a "takeaway" service whenever someone is brought in and they fancy a tiramisu.

neonrainbow · 02/10/2016 18:56

So you're prepared to accept extremely low standards wheresthelight doesn't mean everyone should have to.

MargoReadbetter · 02/10/2016 18:58

Please don't make this about the midwives. It's the underfunding and "outsourcing" and the shutting down of canteens.

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 18:59

Also I totally don't get all the posters saying "I had a 172 hour labour and all I got was dry toast/water/sawdust/fresh air and I was bloody grateful for it". Thats quite a dangerous line of thinking IMO.

I had an awful time on the postnatal ward but I'd like things to improve for women who go after me, I don't think they should be grateful for whatever they get just because my experience was worse.

thestylethatdecadesforgot · 02/10/2016 19:00

I'm sorry I haven't RTFT but I've delivered 4 babies in 3 different hospitals and all delivered in the wee small hours of the morning. At the last one I was offered a yoghurt and tea, no toast was available! After vomiting several times from a quick delivery and the g&a, I wasn't sure the yoghurt would stay down! I really missed having some toast 😂 I had packed some power snacks but there's nothing like that first post-labour toast, YANBU OP! But they did save your life so...