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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have wanted more than toast?

400 replies

Womenareliketeabags · 01/10/2016 17:17

First time posting in AIBU so please be kind and I'm prepared to accept I am.

A few weeks ago I had a planned home birth, birth went well until the placenta was delivered at which point I had a large haemorrhage and was rushed to the nearest labour ward in an ambulance. By the time I had been sorted and I got my coffee and toast it was 01.30am and I hadn't eaten since lunch at 12.30pmish so I was very very hungry! Coffee and toast was lovely. However it did not ease my hunger, the kind midwife offered to see if they had a spare sandwich lying around, there wasn't so she made me some more toast. As I had been rushed in I didn't have my purse and my hospital bag only had very basic stuff, was middle of the night and DH had left at this point so I had no way of getting food from else where.

AIBU to think that labour wards should be able to access food for women at all hours of the day and night?

OP posts:
CandODad · 02/10/2016 19:01

Who the fuck said tiramisu? It's a selection of microwave meals, cereal bars, teas and coffees and I'm talking about from a county level not "my local station has just outsourced xyz"

MargoReadbetter · 02/10/2016 19:02

CandODad - temper, temper!

CandODad · 02/10/2016 19:07

Sorry Margo, people aggrivate me when they chat shit and deliberately stretch the argument to extremes. You are right though that people seem happy to have low expectations in this area. There should indeed be an additional team that caters for these things alongside the medical professionals that are making sure everything goes as smoothly as possible.

WinterLeaf · 02/10/2016 19:07

I think toast and tea is adequate overnight... not ideal but adequate. It's up to family members to provide extra food when the hospital kitchen/canteen is closed, and most wards are supportive of patients ordering takeaway.

In an ideal world the hospital kitchen would provide nutritious meals to order 24-hours, but the NHS doesn't have the funding for that sort of service.

When I gave birth they provided tea and toast during the night, and breakfast was served at 7am. I couldn't sleep and sat up eating chocolate and biscuits most of the night (I'd packed my own but most wards have a vending machine nearby). Some of my friends took their own sandwiches in a cool-bag!

Ultimately I think it's the birthing partner's responsibility to provide extra food for the new mother, even if that means a trip to a nearby 24-hour supermarket or fast food place, or ordering a delivery for her.

MrsHam13 · 02/10/2016 19:09

I did get tea and toast offered after all three but also a mix of sandwiches too. Also every time iv been in hospital with one of the kids or whatever I have also been offered sandwiches at various times of the day and night. Didnt realise that wasn't standard.

After my first daughter I was starving every time I fed her. I'd never felt a hunger like it. But for some reason it wasn't the same with the next two.

Daydream007 · 02/10/2016 19:13

I agree with you as I went through exactly the same.

WinterLeaf · 02/10/2016 19:13

Where would the funding come from for an additional catering team overnight?

CandODad · 02/10/2016 19:17

Same place that other things like additional funding for education and police should come from. Closing tax loopholes, reducing government salaries and refunding social services for mental health etc (thereby freeing up police and NHS that are stuck dealing with these issues out of hours)

Manet · 02/10/2016 19:19

This is such a weird thread. Ofc you are not 'being unreasonable' to want toast when you're hungry, but neither is the hospital 'being unreasonable' for not being able to provide something more substantial.

MrsDc7 · 02/10/2016 19:24

Omg some of these comments Hmm no you are not being unreasonable... there should be a sandwich available rather than just a few pieces of toast. I was absolutely starving when I had my first and then made sure I had loads of crap in my bag the second time. If you are rushed in unexpectedly like that, you should be provided with something - the OP wasn't expecting a full english as some of the PP's seem to think!

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 19:25

So who should have fed me? Partner told to leave, and it's after midnight in a locked ward. I'm immobile, on a drip. I've had pre-eclampsia, been induced.

WankingMonkey · 02/10/2016 19:27

I swear to god nothing has ever tasted so good as the piece of toast I was given after a 36 hour labour with DD. The tea was gorgeous also after being nil by mouth for 6 hours also. And I usually hate hospital tea Grin

Yes, YABU I think. They fed you. At 1.30am they are unlikely to have anything else around, I am sure if it had been available they would have given you it. Even so, toast is good enough for most people..they are grateful for any food fullstop at that stage.

WankingMonkey · 02/10/2016 19:32

Also I would have just eaten the cold mcdonalds tbh if i was still hungry. But I am gross like that Grin

might have asked if it was possible to warm up the chips and stick some salt on though

wheresthel1ght · 02/10/2016 19:32

It's not about accepting low standards. It's about accepting that it is a hospital and not the bloody ritz.

Firstly at her own admission she had had a massive haemorrhage and had to have emergency surgery. Like it or not that is high risk in term of post natal procedure and carries a big risk of re/bleeds and follow up surgery. Ergo eating a big meal is not advisable -the daily fail would love an NHS story like that - mother dies as meal prevents life saving surgery

Seriously some people need to get a grip

abbinob · 02/10/2016 19:32

At our local hospital they have a room on the post natal ward that's like a little kitchen with cereal, milk, bread and tea and coffee in and you can just go and help yourself or if you can get up a midwife will get you something.

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 19:36

No, the midwives would not get me anything from the kitchen. Just one piece of toast in 24 hours. They treated me like a nuisance. It was very upsetting actually. If they hadn't made DP leave he would have sorted something out but they told him to go.

Secretmetalfan · 02/10/2016 19:37

Every single hospital bag list I've read lists snacks and money What did you want? The problem was you not having money or snacks. You had toast and coffee which is all I had when I was in the delivery ward. The midwives have better things to do tbh

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 19:39

liney don't be so unreasonable, I was in labour with triplets for two weeks, there were no beds on the postnatal ward so I had to sleep in the car park while the midwives threw crumbs out of the window. I was grateful for that.

I can't believe you actually expected FOOD to be brought to you. You were only completely alone and immobile having given birth with a life threatening condition, for goodness sake.

Grin
29redshoes · 02/10/2016 19:41

wheres really?! I had a massive haemorrhage requiring immediate surgery under GA and no one told me anything about what I should/shouldn't eat!

Boiing · 02/10/2016 19:42

Toast is NOT enough for a post birth woman, but I do think you were a bit unprepared. I also had planned home birth and then unexpected ambulance to hospital for stitches - my 'just in case' hospital bag was packed with cereal bars, plus I had a quiche in the fridge which I told DH to grab as we were getting into ambulance. Plus DH went to hospital cafe and bought me hot food and drinks before he left about 4am. Absolutely you needed feeding, but I am not convinced it was the midwife's responsibility.

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 19:45

The midwives have better things to do tbh Well it certainly wasn't helping women recovering from pre-eclampsia, induction, a painful tear and being immobile on a drip, where I was.

29 you had crumbs? Luxury.

ChangelingToday · 02/10/2016 19:46

I think you were lucky to get a kind midwife. I puked up my toast as soon asi swallowed it and that was the last meal I had for ages. Had been looking forward to the toast too 😁

MrsBernardBlack · 02/10/2016 19:54

I sympathise, OP. I was in hospital for 48 hours with DS, 33 hours were in labour, and all I had to eat in that time was some of those weird Dutch butter biscuits that MIL had brought me, and water to drink.
Imwas zonked out on pethadine, and had my epidural whacked up to maximum to deal with a retained placenta, so that I couldn't walk to the dining room.

Unicorn1981 · 02/10/2016 19:58

When I had my dd I had an 'elective' (I had no other choice) c section. I was in hospital for 7am, due to go in theatre first thing, not eaten since 8pm previous night. Due to various reasons I did not have dd until 3.38 that afternoon. I was on a drip by then. After I had her I couldn't have anything to eat or drink until I was back on the ward so it was about 10pm by the time I got my food- tea and digestive biscuits! I was not happy but they were the best tea and biscuits I'd ever had. Oh and I was breastfeeding a tiny newborn baby! What else would they have to give me though? I only wish I'd made dp get me a McDonald's like my friend did when she had her baby.

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 02/10/2016 20:04

Nutrition is incredibly important and is one of our benchmarks. How can new mum's recover and bf if they aren't eating?

Toast and tea was the best thing anyone could have given me after I gave birth. After haemorrhaging, then having a catheter, I missed breakfast. I couldn't get to the kitchen with heavy bleeding and trying to carry my catheter so I had nothing until the bf advisor came to see me and made me tea and toast. It was the best thing I'd eaten. DH was at home with our toddler so wasn't able to just bring me food. I did think the lunch and dinner was ok.