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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have wanted more than toast?

400 replies

Womenareliketeabags · 01/10/2016 17:17

First time posting in AIBU so please be kind and I'm prepared to accept I am.

A few weeks ago I had a planned home birth, birth went well until the placenta was delivered at which point I had a large haemorrhage and was rushed to the nearest labour ward in an ambulance. By the time I had been sorted and I got my coffee and toast it was 01.30am and I hadn't eaten since lunch at 12.30pmish so I was very very hungry! Coffee and toast was lovely. However it did not ease my hunger, the kind midwife offered to see if they had a spare sandwich lying around, there wasn't so she made me some more toast. As I had been rushed in I didn't have my purse and my hospital bag only had very basic stuff, was middle of the night and DH had left at this point so I had no way of getting food from else where.

AIBU to think that labour wards should be able to access food for women at all hours of the day and night?

OP posts:
ooonatoffolo · 02/10/2016 21:01

My local hospital is rubbish in many respects (cleanliness, waiting times)

but, the canteen is on site, and is superb.

Home cooked food - steak pie, curry, chilli, salad bar, soups, roast chicken
lots of home made style puds and home baking.

After ds I was given steak pie, veg and mash. then apple pie and custard.
I was in for 5 days and we had 3 meals and 2 snacks a day inc a late night supper trolley with sandwiches and cakes.

I was in over this New Year and they came round with a drinks trolley.
pushed me to have a 'wee dram' - daft as I was on Oramorph)

all NHS. Very rare, I should think.

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 21:03

lovely the postnatal ward I was on four months ago had a microwave actually.

abbsismyhero · 02/10/2016 21:05

i had bacon beans and eggs but im gluten intolerant and the midwife was a bit of a terror to the kitchen staff she was the only one to actually make sure i got food and i was there nearly a week

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 21:06

lovely also I seriously can't believe you think a microwave meal after you nearly die is "entitled". You must be the most grateful person alive if that's how low you set your standards.

DropZoneOne · 02/10/2016 21:09

They'd run out of butter when I delivered DD by EMCS, said they'd sort it soon. DH popped to the nearest corner shop, picked up butter, bread and a box of biscuits for the staff so a) I didn't have to wait (we'd both missed lunch) and b) as a small gesture to the midwives and docs for saving our DDS life.

The midwife who came to see me the next day to take my lunch order did say the budget for hosital food was tiny, totally insufficient for a recovering mum and to get my DH to bring me lots of snacks.

Our NHS is bloody amazing. I'd far rather the limited funds went on more life saving / improving treatment than food.

wheresthel1ght · 02/10/2016 21:14

29red and who is supposed to go and buy them? Check they are always in date if not used? Where is the money coming from for all the staff to have basic food hygiene training?

It isn't about having low standards it is about accepting it is a hospital. They have exceptionally limited resources and I fully agree with the previous poster who says better those resources are spent on staff and equipment than food and unnecessary training just because some people don't pack essentials in their hospital bags

expatinscotland · 02/10/2016 21:14

The problem with 'there should be a sandwich' is that then you have to have sandwiches for - all types of allergies and dietary requirements like halal or vegan. And you likely end up with a lot of waste. Even many hotels don't have catering staff available 24/7.

MrsHathaway · 02/10/2016 21:22

And then the following morning I got the previous bed occupant's breakfast order who was just yogurt and orange juice.

Eurgh I had this when an inpatient on the gynae ward (mm for mmc). Previous occupant had a sparrow's appetite, choosing at most a sandwich for every meal and more often just a yoghurt. I was bleeding like a stuck pig so stuck to the bed, and ravenous, so the arrival of each meal had me in tears.

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 21:25

A genuine question here - who is currently responsible for checking the ward is stocked with bread and butter? And how do they currently deal with people who are gluten/wheat/dairy intolerant, vegan etc?

perriewhisky · 02/10/2016 21:28

At that time of the night that is all that is available. As a nurse we have to bring our own food I for a shift as unfortunately there is no canteen open. If they had canteens pen 24/7 it would cost a he'll of a lot more and thus patient care would be affected. What do you prefer having a midwife there or additional food or would you like to pay a lot more for the nhs.

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 21:29

just because some people don't pack essentials in their hospital bags

I only wanted another bit of toast. And was refused. After they'd sent DP home, I hadn't eaten for 24 hours, I'd been there days, with pre-eclampsia, and was immobile in bed with a drip and a tear, after midnight, in a locked ward.

Some post-natal care is just shit.

BikeRunSki · 02/10/2016 21:30

8 and 5 years ago, the hospital where I had my DC (Barnsley) had a fridge full of sandwiches and a microwave in the mat ward breakfast room.

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 21:32

What do you prefer having a midwife there or additional food

Unfortunately a lot of women have neither. Post-natal care can be shockingly bad, especially at night / early hours.

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 02/10/2016 21:38

Take your own food; don't be lazy and entitled and think about the bigger picture.
Our NHS is being eroded

Are other people that are going in hospital expected to take their own food or is that train of thought just saved for women.

The NHS is not being eroded by women giving birth and expecting/hoping/needing some extra calories - it's being eroded by views like yours - normally by men who want to kill the NHS.

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 02/10/2016 21:39

liney that's awful

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 21:41

Perrie I also don't have a canteen where I work but then I don't go to work immediately after giving birth, a PPH and surgery under general anaesthetic.

I actually would be happy to pay more for the NHS as it happens but I think that's another thread.

divafever99 · 02/10/2016 21:43

Just be glad you weren't told like me the day after a emergency c section to go to the kitchen and make my own toast! I could barely feel my legs. I was glad I had packed my own cereal bars and juice!

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 02/10/2016 22:03

Why are people always so unsympathetic. Perhaps we should have this information given to us as part of a midwife induction rather like how it will be after the birth you don't get told anything about that can usefully prepare you for feeding, changes and bathing until baby arrives and you are exhausted and feeling vulnerable. You should also be warned you may not get food either. No the NHS is not the Ivy, ridiculous comparison.

oldlaundbooth · 02/10/2016 22:07

Depends on how nice your midwife is.

Mine gave me double breakfast with extra cheese, she was a lifesaver.

I was starved.

LineyReborn · 02/10/2016 22:07

Thanks, Nina.

I do get that staff are busy. But many women in ante-natal care settings are medical patients, and cannot do the basics themselves. If their families have been asked to leave, and not advised that there won't be food for their wife/partner/daughter, then that's a bit crap.

For 2nd birth (again in middle of the night) I was more prepared for the crapness, I guess. You live and learn.

ooonatoffolo · 02/10/2016 22:12

Adequate nutrition is ABSOLUTELY part of recovery for labour.

whereisshe · 02/10/2016 22:16

God this thread is depressing. I'm not transferring in when I have DC2 unless I'm actually dying.

MeandT · 02/10/2016 22:20

More importantly OP, if you've had a PPH, make sure you eat LOADS of iron over the next 4 months and get help if you have trouble bf. It took me 3 1/2 months to get DS back on the weight centile he was born on and I was only told with second birth that PPH/blood loss/low iron can seriously impact your milk production. It would have saved me a load of grief from health visitors if I'd been told that first time around, fortunately found a very sympathetic one in the end who helped me sort it out sticking with bf. Look after both of you and get on the broccoli/dates/apricots for snacks from now on!

29redshoes · 02/10/2016 22:27

Same experience as meandT, nobody bothered to tell me that blood loss can affect milk production! I think a breastfeeding counsellor finally mentioned if when DD was about eight weeks old, in a "I'm sure they told you this in hospital but..." kind of way!

May not be an issue for you but just something to be aware of.

EveOnline2016 · 02/10/2016 22:44

I have been thinking about this.

I think that more substantial food should be looked into.

Not just on maternity wards but also children wards.

Something like the photo. Not only would it serve patients but also staff. The company can stock daily.

it will only work though if birth partners can make sure that new mothers are settled and well fed before being turfed out.

To have wanted more than toast?