Birthday party at our wedding venue

[RevealTheHiddenBeach]

I probably am...

Dh and I got married 3 years ago near the town I grew up in. Hired out a little village hall. When we found it it turned out my dad knew the manager, but none of my family had been to anything there before.

Lovely wedding, lovely little hall.

Dm text this week (group message) to say she's going to book the hall for her birthday party. I know I don't have eternal dibs on the hall but i just don't like it - and sounds silly I know. She can be quite suffocating (unintentionally I'm sure) and this feels like an extension of that.

So. Aibu to feel this way... and wibu to say something?!

(On a serious note, Mrs koala your thing oh my goodness that is a totally different and very real issue and I am impressed uou went at all!)

Right, vipers.

I would LOVE to wear my wedding dress there with ALL my tiaras but I can't because terrible mother gave my dress away WITHOUT ASKING ME to a friends daughter for her to play dress up in. She was sitting on the sofa then, too...

I have already written to the venue to tell them that in light of previous wonderful events, no princess parties should be allowed. If any slip through the net I will be sure to turn up in a borrowed dress and outshine the party girl. Starting with family events.

Leave the cheque! Cancel the bastard. Etc (or should that be ect?)

Sometimes we just need someone to say yes you are being a twat but it's ok.

Op I hope you can figure out and sort the actual issue because we both know it's not the venue.

I must admit that my wedding was somewhat marred for me by the behaviour of one of my in-laws. She was jealous that another sister was seemingly in more photos and had a hissy fit, storming up to the photographer and demanding to be in a picture.

She was 43 at the time. I now suspect that she has some kind of high-functioning 'issue', which means that she has no idea of the effect her behaviour has on other people. If i had known this about her back then i would quietly have pulled her husband off to one side and told him to tactfully remove her from the scene, but I was too deferential, very overheated as it was a heatwave, and actually cried on my own wedding day.

Reveal you are now my favourite Mumsnetter!

a year after our marriage my H and i were going thru a divorce and he was living with my maid of honour and my mum had her 60th birthday at the same venue. I didn't say anything, but i did feel like crying at quite a few points in the evening.

This is not actually unreasonable to be upset about. Good on you for being the bigger person.

The given away wedding dress a joke, yes? (Please?)

I forgot to add that you need to call 101 and cancel the queue before you Ltb. Best follow up ever.

I thought this was going to be about a birthday party being held at the same time. The fact it's years later is ridiculous. I assume you feel it's beneath you, that you held your wedding reception in the same place someone can have their birthday cheapens your wedding. Well it doesn't.

reveal. I hear you, hun. Just keep reaching out to us...

FFS I should have read all the thread. Apologies OP. Hope you can sort things re your mother.

thank you narnian, I feel I have recovered marvellously.

Although I took ham13s suggestion at joking about wearing my wedding dress (definite joke smiley face and everything) and she said "yes I can wear mine too!"

(Have now fully outed self to family. )

Dont worry given away dress was as real as the cancelled cheque!

As long as you're not sobbing and shaking right now, all will be fine.

Oh op I so think you should wear your wedding dress. I'm gutted I didn't think about doing that myself along with smeared 'crying' make up. when I think back it's quite hilarious now. Something from a black comedy. At the time not so much. (Especially as most people there didn't know so kept asking where dh was and asking if I was pregnant yet - oh god cringing at the memories)

My family aren't really renowned for sensitivity and I'm fairly thick skinned so I just shrugged it off.

I hope you have fun op. Wear a blue garter under your dress to make yourself smile and then get drunk and hook your skirt up to show everyone. :)

Oh good!

You're plainly a true mner - will you do the food for the party, you'll only need one chicken?

So she refused to go to your wedding as it's the same month as your birthday? Hope I've read that wrong.

Only 1 scoop - go on the idea that if it sounds like ianbu, it was made up, mainly for queenbean's benefit! I realised I wbu on page 1.

I think YABVU. I wish my DM was alive so she could have her birthday party at my wedding venue. You're so lucky to even have a mother living.

Fair play, OP. Fair play.

Sorry Op sense of humour bypass for a moment....

I think OP should start batch-cooking the birthday spread. Or she could 'offer' carrot sticks and healthy dips....

Can I join in?
Find out the name of the village hall CEO and put it on Twitter - they hate that sort of publicity and, as a bonus, the journos from the DM will probably see it and pop round for a sad face pic or two.

Reveal have you booked a spa day yet? They're supposed to be good in any situation.

Yes, all halls have CEOs right?! Will find out the name of them AND ther children.

And I should locate a vegan caterer for our bacon - loving friends and family.

Then they can fight over the one small chicken.

If you felt like this, why did you get married at this venue?