Birthday party at our wedding venue

[RevealTheHiddenBeach]

I probably am...

Dh and I got married 3 years ago near the town I grew up in. Hired out a little village hall. When we found it it turned out my dad knew the manager, but none of my family had been to anything there before.

Lovely wedding, lovely little hall.

Dm text this week (group message) to say she's going to book the hall for her birthday party. I know I don't have eternal dibs on the hall but i just don't like it - and sounds silly I know. She can be quite suffocating (unintentionally I'm sure) and this feels like an extension of that.

So. Aibu to feel this way... and wibu to say something?!

Burn the hall down so no one can ever use it again. Job done.

MrsKoala

Wow - there would be more than mixed feelings for me - that is massively insensitive. I think you did well if it was just a "few tears" !!!

Wear your wedding dress to the party with eye make up running down your face.

The hall should be sealed forever and kept as a monument to you marriage. Having any event in it would spoil it.

notYoda. I got you...

OP, have my first

I thought someone was suggesting a joint wedding/birthday party. YABextremelyU.

You do realize that other functions occur in this village hall?

but none of my family had been to anything there before.

Well they have now been to your wedding and then there will be the birthday party, so they will have had the joy of two events there.

Buy the hall recreate your wedding and then live in it like a married Miss Haversham.

YABU. It's 3 years later,your Dad knows the manager and it's a public venue.

Yabvvvvu. Even if it a birthday party at same venue next time. Its a village hall...its been used by other people since i bet!!

Maybe I'm odd in that actually, I get it. You had one of the most important and special days of your life there and hold it sacred in your heart and mind. There is an element of it being tainted by something as frivolous as a birthday party. Yes its irrational, but it's linked to emotions so rational doesn't always apply.
Have a fume to yourself, bit of a sulk but don't say anything. You're not a bad person!

Day not time

Oh dear its a village hall please get over yourself do you really think your Mil is tryi g to steal your thunder or something . its not YOUR weddingvenue is a hall.

I guess I can see the psychology behind it (though obviously unreasonable). You see it as a wedding venue, a special event you expect to happen once in your life. Seeing it used as a venue for a general party, possibly makes it seem a little less 'special'? Obviously, yes it's unreasonable, buuut I can understand the thought in some odd way.

*Havisham sorry

OP when you are done with flouncing (please remember to keep popping back with more info tho- did she not try and cut in on your first dance with DH?? ). Why not arrange for a vows renewal during the party, that'll show her! Could nip away half way and appear in your dress and get DJ to play wedding march.. Of course you must wear the Elsa crown you wrestled from pp birthday girl... 👑

I kind of know where you're coming from. My mother ordered the same everyday crockery as we have, so that when she's dead we can have her bits to add to ours. She did this at a time when she was in perfect health, with at least two decades of wellness in front of her.

I have started buying a new dinner service now, bit by bit, as ours has broken and cracked over our 21 years of marriage. She meant very kindly but I think it made me feel a bit smothered.

X-post, mysister!

Glad I'm not alone in my reasoning

Eh yes yabu 😂 Since my wedding I have been to another wedding, a Christmas party, a wake and a huge family reunion lunch at my wedding venue. I love being back there (except at the wake obviously) it brings back lovely memories.

Arelative of mine had her wedding reception same place I did she wanted somewhere she knew and in her budget and she was having a big evening do because she had a small wedding ceramony like i did, it didnt feel like my venue at all ,

I feel sad that my wedding was not a sacred, lovely day. Not the best day of my life by a country mile.

Lovely marriage, meh wedding.

Your wedding was a special and unique event.

Unless touting is wearing a big white dress and has a cake with a tiny couple on it, you are being unreasonable BUT I do understand why.

Xxxxx enjoy the party and let the venue rekindle happy memories for you.

Burn it down whilst wearing your wedding dress.

OP you're great. DM not so much.

Oh you should jokingly ask your mum if she can make it fancy dress so you can wear your wedding dress just for the nostalgia and to pretend its still your wedding day and see how she reacts haha

Your mum ... not touting!