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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday party at our wedding venue

129 replies

RevealTheHiddenBeach · 01/10/2016 09:38

I probably am...

Dh and I got married 3 years ago near the town I grew up in. Hired out a little village hall. When we found it it turned out my dad knew the manager, but none of my family had been to anything there before.

Lovely wedding, lovely little hall.

Dm text this week (group message) to say she's going to book the hall for her birthday party. I know I don't have eternal dibs on the hall but i just don't like it - and sounds silly I know. She can be quite suffocating (unintentionally I'm sure) and this feels like an extension of that.

So. Aibu to feel this way... and wibu to say something?!

OP posts:
usual · 01/10/2016 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notso · 01/10/2016 10:11

YANBU and OMG your own Mum didn't go to your Wedding because it was in her birthday month! Shocking, you should go NC.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 01/10/2016 10:12

I vote 101 too. :)

Notso · 01/10/2016 10:13

You should cancel the cheque too OP

regularbutpanickingabit · 01/10/2016 10:13

Totally u but totally understandable if you have a suffocating mother who sort of commandeers all your memories in to something to do with her.

I have an idea. You could always go to her party in your wedding dress? Just tell her the hall is so special to you that you couldn't possibly revisit without being in all you finery again.

Original poster
RevealTheHiddenBeach · 01/10/2016 10:14

I have logged 101 a million times by the police in my area must be badly trained or something they just laughed down the phone at me

I said of COURSE its serious, its about a BIRTHDAY...

Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
RevealTheHiddenBeach · 01/10/2016 10:16

(And thank you dudewheresmyvulva, might add "tremendous grace" to my CV!)

Smile
OP posts:
MrsKoala · 01/10/2016 10:17

I'd also go NC, but not before i'd made a very public point on Facebook so everyone could see what a total cow she was. Possibly with a passive aggressive meme about families supporting each other. Wink

Actually, OP i had similar unexpressed 'mixed feelings' when a year after our marriage my H and i were going thru a divorce and he was living with my maid of honour and my mum had her 60th birthday at the same venue. I didn't say anything, but i did feel like crying at quite a few points in the evening.

NoelHeadbands · 01/10/2016 10:18

Yes but what has she said about it ON FACEBOOK?

DownWithThisSortaThing · 01/10/2016 10:19

Shes probably booking it because she really liked it when you had your wedding there. You're taking it quite strangely to be honest, like she's doing it to bother you. It's just a hall.

Purplebluebird · 01/10/2016 10:19

Yabu :P

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 01/10/2016 10:21

(psssst - OP, you're supposed to flounce off for the next 15 pages, stop posting)

sonjadog · 01/10/2016 10:23

You should most definitely wear your wedding dress to the party.

Original poster
RevealTheHiddenBeach · 01/10/2016 10:23

Shit, sorry!

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 01/10/2016 10:28

People are generally quite irritating, I find.

Sometimes it's you. Sometimes it's them.

This time it's you, I'm afraid.

I get it tho. My mum can irritate me by sitting quietly on the sofa. Meh.

LaContessaDiPlump · 01/10/2016 10:32

My mum can irritate me by sitting quietly on the sofa.

But it's the way they sit though, SaucyJack, isn't it? All stiff/reclined/recumbent or whatnot. Doing it WRONG somehow. Probably thinking as well, while they're at it. Bastards.

Grin
The80sweregreat · 01/10/2016 10:34

you what? honestly, they cant leave the hall as a museum to your wedding! its hired out for weddings, parties etc all the time. honestly, I've read some odd posts on here in my time, but this is weird!

Pagwatch · 01/10/2016 10:34

I think wearing your wedding dress is a good idea. Do it.

Seekingadvice123 · 01/10/2016 10:37

I can understand on some levels as it is all tied up in your memories of the day, associations etc, and you feel that the birthday party may somehow spoil them but you really are been VVU.

NotYoda · 01/10/2016 10:42

As an example of her being irritating, it's not a great one. Which doesn't mean she's not irritating

QPR football team train at my wedding reception venue. Bastards Grin

Marmalade85 · 01/10/2016 10:44
Confused
NotYoda · 01/10/2016 10:45

OP

I see no-one has handed you a grip yet.

May I do the honours Wink

phillipp · 01/10/2016 10:45

Presumably you don't like your mother very much and now it seems like she is even trying to spoil your memories of your wedding by associating her own celebrations with your venue in your head.

How does someone having a party in a village hall ruin someone's wedding memories?

Yes you have issues with your mother and she sounds like a pita . But a party there doesn't change any memories.

mouldycheesefan · 01/10/2016 10:46

This venue must be SHUT DOWN IMMEDIATELY so that nobody else can ever use its hallowed portals except you, the most specialist of all the brides in the universe.

NotYoda · 01/10/2016 10:47

P.S - I was joining in with joshing, not actually handing a grip. FWIW that irritates the hell out of me - MMMM good idea for a thread