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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am 41 weeks pregnant and twat of a husband won't help clean

82 replies

yeahyoudid · 30/09/2016 22:11

I'm trying to get my house in a fit state for home birth with two toddlers around- had a row with DH about cleaning the bathroom and he flounced to bed at 7 pm and REFUSES to get up and help therefore forcing me to clean every room. I'm so fucking furious. Regardless of me being a dick during the argument AIBU to think he needs to get up and help?? He says he won't cos I'm shouting - I'm shouting cos he's lying in bed trying to sleep. Aaaaggghh.

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 30/09/2016 22:12

He's a massive dick. What the duck is he going to be like when the baby arrives?

idontlikealdi · 30/09/2016 22:12

Bloody autocorrect - fuck not duck

Original poster
yeahyoudid · 30/09/2016 22:13

This is what I'm worried about. He has form of being pretty weak and feeble after the birth of the other two.

OP posts:
Thattimeofyearagain · 30/09/2016 22:13

He is being a dick. Are you nesting? He should be helping, not having a kip Angry

BzyB · 30/09/2016 22:14

Arse.
Can you get a cleaner in as a one off? Or st least find out going rate and suggest he pays for it?! I'm 38w and too uncomfortable to have a leisurely shower never mind clean the thing!

rainbowstardrops · 30/09/2016 22:14

He went to bed at 7pm??? What the hell is wrong with him?!
He needs a proverbial kick up the backside

Original poster
yeahyoudid · 30/09/2016 22:16

He is 'making a point' as I did shout and scream as was sick of seeing the dirty bathroom floor and begging him to do it as I'm too fat and uncomfortable to be able to. I did speak to him like crap- hands up- but I find his response so weak and pathetic.

OP posts:
Thattimeofyearagain · 30/09/2016 22:16

Or an actual kick up the backside.

happyinthesunshine · 30/09/2016 22:17

Stop cleaning quickly! It means you'll give birth very soon and you'll need your energy. You are in the throes of nesting.....
I did this, couldn't stop cleaning even though I was tired. I gave birth soon after.
Leave him a list stuck to the kettle. He can do it whilst you are recovering in hospital. Grin

Somerville · 30/09/2016 22:17

Write on FB or a group text to a load of friends/family that you need urgent help cleaning ready for home birth as he won't help.
Hopefully their shocked reaction will shame him into upping his game.

backtowork2015 · 30/09/2016 22:18

Devils advocate... isn't it better to have well rested parents than a sparkling bathroom floor? Maybe you should both put your feet up whilst you can?

DeadGood · 30/09/2016 22:19

I actually can't stand people who have these blanket "if you shout / swear it immediately makes me right and I can therefore act like a prick thereafter and still have the high ground" rules.

Can the cleaning wait till tomorrow, OP?

PetyrBaelish · 30/09/2016 22:20

It sounds like you are both at the end of your tether and maybe he is getting irate? Unless he has form for being lazy? Is he at work tomorrow, can he help clean then? Midwives aren't expecting a show room, they expect a bit of chaos to be honest!

Original poster
yeahyoudid · 30/09/2016 22:21

Yeah cleaning can definitely wait but as I'm already a week overdue I really could go into labour tonight and feel ick about baby coming into dirty house. It's not filthy but it's little jobs I find hard to do that I've asked him to do and he hasn't. Apparently some women at 41 weeks preys run marathons... That little factoid went down like a sack of shit with moi

OP posts:
PetyrBaelish · 30/09/2016 22:21

And don't try to 'shame' him on Facebook, unless you are 14, for gods sake.

PetyrBaelish · 30/09/2016 22:22

Haha don't worry, I was a sitting duck at 41 weeks...

Original poster
yeahyoudid · 30/09/2016 22:23

Yeah not going to go down the FB route although have filmed him pretending to be asleep whilst I hang washing up in the room...

OP posts:
Original poster
yeahyoudid · 30/09/2016 22:23

For my own personal enjoyment

OP posts:
Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 30/09/2016 22:23

He was weak and feeble??
Did he actually give birth to the kids himself??
What an arse.

I hope you aren't cooking and washing for him??!!!

Somerville · 30/09/2016 22:26

I didn't mean publically on FB, I meant a group message.
But yes, I'd totally include friends and family if I were treated like this while 41 weeks pregnant. His behaviour isn't acceptable - even if OP were being a bit irrational in wanting the cleaning done right now (which it doesn't sound like she is, actually) then she should be indulged by the father of the full term child she's lugging around.

JenLindleyShitMom · 30/09/2016 22:28

I think maybe you need to stop, breathe and realise that you are stressed and possibly fixating on something that doesn't matter. The house is probably fine. If you shouted and screamed at him, were a dick? Yeah, bed is where i'd go too. I wouldn't hang around for more of that. If you want to stress out cleaning then go for it, he doesn't have to and he doesn't need to be abused for that.

Somerville · 30/09/2016 22:28

At 41 weeks I was stopped on the street and asked 'have you got a litter in there?' by some charmer.

Every woman is uncomfortable and finding her size cumbersome and much slower than usual by that stage.

DeadGood · 30/09/2016 22:32

JenLindley why are you ignoring the part where the OP's husband refused to participate in cleaning, something that sounds as though it's required? The OP shouted for a reason.

Propertyquandry · 30/09/2016 22:32

He's being an arse.
backtowork, the op is planning a homebirth. It's totally understandable that she'd want a pristine bathroom where she may actually birth her baby.
I like the idea of putting out an urgent call for help shaming him by telling everyone he refuses to clean for you.

And OP, I know the horse has bolted and all that but why the hell are you having more babies with a man who has form for being crap when you have babies? Confused Don't put up with his shit this time. Good luck.

mouthandfoot · 30/09/2016 22:34

He goes to bed at 7pm to get out of cleaning? Someone needs to grow up.

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