Am 41 weeks pregnant and twat of a husband won't help clean

[yeahyoudid]

I'm trying to get my house in a fit state for home birth with two toddlers around- had a row with DH about cleaning the bathroom and he flounced to bed at 7 pm and REFUSES to get up and help therefore forcing me to clean every room. I'm so fucking furious. Regardless of me being a dick during the argument AIBU to think he needs to get up and help?? He says he won't cos I'm shouting - I'm shouting cos he's lying in bed trying to sleep. Aaaaggghh.

JenLindley why are you ignoring the part where the OP's husband refused to participate in cleaning, something that sounds as though it's required? The Op shouted for a reason

Did you read my post? I directly addressed the fact he was refusing to do cleaning.

if you want to stress out cleaning then go for it, he doesn't have to and he doesn't need to be abused for that

You don't get to abuse people just because they don't do what you tell them.

JenLindley, what do you mean he doesn't have to? His partner is about to give birth. His job is to make her as happy and comfortable as possible. His job is also to make sure he keeps on top of cleaning the bathroom partly because she is physically unable to at the moment and partly to ensure its suitable to potentially give birth in. The OP doesn't need the added worry of a filthy bathroom when in labour.

sounds to me like you should have planned a hospital birth. If you wanted a pristine environment surely you realised that you wouldn't be fit to maintain a pristine house for weeks before birth and I'm assuming you know your husband well enough to know his standards don't meet yours. Why on earth set yourself up for this kind of situation at an already stressful time? Especially when you say he was crap with the first two babies??

And whatever way you look at it, he's being a dick. DH put up with crazy mood swings and panicked ranting from me at that stage too. He just smiled and listened and did everything in his power to make things calmer and easier for me, even when I was being unreasonable. It's certainly not how our relationship works on a regular basis, but during pregnancy, esp late pregnancy and immediately after birth then Yep, he put up with whatever I (verbally) threw his way. This is how most decent men behave around their wives at this time

Erm Jenlindley- when did I ever say I wanted things to be pristine??? Just want my arse of a husband to mop a floor but you have just somehow decided I need a hospital birth?! Cheers for that!

The OP has 2 toddlers. Perhaps HB is the only option which means her DH can be with her at the birth. Not everyone has family or someone who can take 2 extra toddlers for a night or more.

Erm Jenlindley- when did I ever say I wanted things to be pristine???

Apologies, it was propertyquandary who suggested you wanted a pristine bathroom. If you don't need it pristine then as I said, is probably fine. Your probably just stressed about imminent birth and fixating on this as a distraction.

Step 1.
Get ice (or frozen veg) out of freezer.
step 2.
place (In bag if using veg) in cold bucket of water.
step 3: If using just ice, you can now tip this over his head.
step 4; if you used veg, remove back of veg, place back in freezer, dump over head. then scream like a fucking banshee.
Probably not mature,
Probably not rational, But I think I'd do far worse in your situation. I'm 6 weeks off induction and I would happily murder DH if he did the same as yours is doing

OP, I've had 2 home births. Is this your first HB? They left me feeling euphoric!

fwiw, he'll have time to mop the floor while your in labour. Forget about it tonight.

jen But the cleaning does have to be done because she's having a home birth and could go into labour any moment (what with the nesting).

And rather than helping, or doing it alone whilst making sure she has her feet up and rests, which is what my DH did when I was heavily pregnant, he goes to bed at 7pm.

That would make me shout, too.

OP I hope he gets up and helps. Don't exhaust yourself cleaning in case you go into labour in the night.

Is there anyone you can ask for urgent help?

If not then your husband will have to clean while you're in the early stages of labour. With a midwife tutting at him.

Lol at Cocklodger!
First home birth Property, thrilled you had such good experiences!

I said she'd like a pristine bathroom. Most people would when giving birth and inviting strangers into your bathroom. I didn't say she needed it. With 2 toddler siblings this baby will be exposed to plenty of germs early on. This isn't about level of cleanliness it's about the OP's husband being a lazy, selfish arse. She's 41wks pg ffs!

I didn't say she needed it

Nor did I.

If this isn't about level of cleanliness then why does it matter that the mopping isn't done??

It could be another 3/4/5 days before a baby appears in which time the floor will have gotten dirty again. Early labour isn't a panicked situation. They'll have time to swish and swipe the bathroom between labour starting and the midwife arriving.

The floor isn't urgent.

some men are just pure lazy bastards!!!!

Close your legs and refuse to give birth until he puts some elbow grease in.

Seriously though, you absolutely have the high ground here, I would call his mum and get her to kick him up the bum.

The OP is 41 weeks PG with 2 toddlers. OP rant as much as you want, sometimes you don't want people giving you solutions - you just want people to know how shit it is in that situation

Disclaimer, I have only been 41.5 weeks PG with one toddler, I was ready to commit murder to anyone who came too close, apart from DD.

Deep breaths OP, my thoughts are with you.

Don't wring his neck over cleaning the bath, you will need him alive to deal with toddlers once baby finally arrives x

Get on your hands and knees and clean the kitchen floor I was 41 and 7 days ( I think I was longer and they got the dates wrong placenta snapped off when he came out ). Anyway cleaning the floor on my hands and knees did kick start labour and I was a fat fucker. If it can work for me then it can work for you.

Early labour isn't a panicked situation.

Well that rather depends. This is the op's 3rd baby. My 3rd labour start to finish was 1hour 52minutes.

My 4th baby was the hardest to give birth to he weren't coming out for nobody he was way to comfortable in my belly.

My 3rd labour start to finish was 1hour 52minutes.

Plenty of time to mop the floor

"I actually can't stand people who have these blanket "if you shout / swear it immediately makes me right and I can therefore act like a prick thereafter and still have the high ground" rules. "

Me too.
and not just because they use it deliberately. They treat every attempt to communicate as a sumo battle where they are just trying to get you to put one foot outside of the ring of acceptability and so disqualify you. so actual communication is impossible because you're either disqualified, or they're obsessed with their tactics to disqualify you and not listening

not just because of that, but because they're uptight fascist twats

Maudlin Yes!! This!! Silence and moral high ground is far crueller than a bit of tangy swearing.

*ranty but tangy works!

YANBU

HB No3 here (5 months ago) only took 45 minutes so your DH should get his arse out of bed and clean up as your No3 could (and hopefully will) be out quick/shortly :)

It won't even take him long, he probably argued and moaned longer than the cleaning would take ! It's not much to ask for a clean house to birth in.

Pathetic and selfish of him.