Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School lunchbox police

238 replies

gertyglossop · 29/09/2016 18:04

My 4 year old daughter came home from school today and informed me that Miss X, her teacher, doesn't like it when children have chocolate in their lunchbox. She was visibly worried about it.

I have been packing her a fun sized (2 inch) Milky Way bar every day this week (last week it was mini ginger bread men, and some other small treat the week before). She also takes a wholemeal sandwich, small packet of savoury snacks and a piece of fruit. She knows that she must eat the sandwich and fruit before she eats the treat.

AIBU to resent:

A. The implication that I, as the parent, am unable to make suitable food choices for my child?

B. The complaint being made to my 4 year old child, rather than to me?

OP posts:
Original poster
gertyglossop · 29/09/2016 20:08

The school doesn't compare poorly to mine. Two very different schools in size and catchment. You couldn't compare them fairly actually.

I'm very happy with the school so far and my daughter has settled really well - can't ask for more than that! I'm just frustrated that an issue that is big enough to raise with a child, hasn't been raised with the parent - plus some double standards at play. I do mildly suspect that my daughter may have gotten the wrong end of the stick, as 4 year olds can do. Hence, I will speak to the teacher tomorrow.

I am on maternity leave and have been since my daughter started - haven't mentioned my role to the teacher, although the Head knows what I do as I have met her many times through work.

Thanks for judging me though ;)

OP posts:
IAmNotAMindReader · 29/09/2016 20:08

Far too much sugar there.
My child does not eat any processed foods and has never had chocolate. Most fruit is too acidic and damaging for young teeth as well. More vegetables than you would think also have sugar in them. Cheese is very unhealthy as are eggs. I cannot believe any sensible caring parent would allow them.

My child just eats handfulls of sunshine as we are of course breatharians.
-And this post is total bollox but serves to illustrate the holier than thou without the proper dietary education attitude of both those in education and some posters here alike-

Original poster
gertyglossop · 29/09/2016 20:09

Good for you, Artandco - sounds lovely!

OP posts:
user1475171181 · 29/09/2016 20:09

No drinks or nuts ever. What is wrong with nuts? They are healthy and nutritious.

eurochick · 29/09/2016 20:19

I do wish schools would stick to the role of educating children and let parents parent - and that includes feeding. If there are serious nutritional concerns then the family needs support, not lunchbox policing.

Audreyhelp · 29/09/2016 20:23

I don't think the op was asking if the lunch box was healthy or not.
Lots of you are missing the point.

Rockingaround · 29/09/2016 20:24

I once had a packet of mini cheddars returned in lunch bag with a post-it attached saying "these do not adhere to our healthy eating policy" Shock

PurpleCrazyHorse · 29/09/2016 20:27

YANBU. Luckily DD's school has plenty more things to worry about than policing a balanced lunchbox. In fact I was so pleased when we moved here that they do reward with a single Starburst or similar occasionally. DD's old school were so 'healthy' that 4yo DD started refusing to eat cheese because school had said it was bad for her.

It's important that truly bad packed lunches are addressed and also schools need to look at their cooked dinners. DD had a range of stodge for pudding and quite large portions of dessert for an infant aged child (strangely she had tiny portions of the main meal).

user1471449040 · 29/09/2016 20:31

.....and allergies to them can be deadly!

Crispspsps · 29/09/2016 20:33

YANBU but for your own sanity probably best to sigh and walk away. I don't mind at all that our school encourages healthy packed lunches, but it doesn't half wind me up when DS comes home from the days he has school dinners and has had pizza followed by cake, and completely ignored the "selection of salad items and fruit that are always available for the children to help themselves to".

sugarcoat21 · 29/09/2016 20:37

As a lunchtime supervisor I see many lunch boxes filled with crisps, chocolate, cakes and sweets and nothing else. I know parents just want their child to eat something but seriously filling kids up on sugar and fat isn't great which I'm sure you know. It's great your child knows to eat the treat last. And it is just that, a treat. I've come across this before and they soon pick up bad habits from others. My own children complain to me because I don't give them crisps yet all their friends have them daily.

I would much rather see all children with a healthy lunch encouraging each other to eat their fruit etc rather than going green with jealousy over the chocolate bar the kid next to them has every day.

If the school has a policy about lunchbox content then they should direct comments to you not your child. If it is a widespread problem I'm sure you will all be receiving a letter soon.

thehugemanatee · 29/09/2016 20:42

How things have changed, when I was at school there were sweets chocolate and fizzy drinks in vending machines in the lunch room.

Bestthingever · 29/09/2016 20:42

I don't believe in banning sweets and treats totally either but I don't think chocolate is a good choice for a child's lunchbox either. Children need something to sustain them through the rest of the day. Chocolate doesn't do that.

LaurieMarlow · 29/09/2016 20:46

While I'm very against the lunch box police generally, I think in this case it's more than justified. A daily mini chocolate bar isn't a good choice for a four year old, sorry.

RiverTam · 29/09/2016 20:47

I doubt that the puddings the school provides are thst sugary, school meals have to adhere to strict guidelines, don't they? So your Milky Way us probably much more sugary.

Given that it was in the news this week that british children eat their own weight in sugar every year I think it would be a good opportunity to look at something else to put in her lunchbox.

ollieplimsoles · 29/09/2016 20:48

Why don't the teachers get on with teaching and leave the parenting to the parents...

Topseyt · 29/09/2016 20:55

When I was at school (far too long ago now) we had a tuck shop that sold crisps, chocolate and fizzy drinks.

Plenty of us who didn't fancy going into school canteen would sneakily spend our dinner money there and just not tell our parents.

How times change!! I am not advocating a return to that, but really I am with the OP. All of this lunchbox policing stuff has just gone OTT and parents really do not appreciate being criticised and told what to do.

Personally, I think it can all be traced back to Jamie Oliver and his over-zealous campaigning on the issue. Change was needed, but not in the OTT way we now have it, and not the double standards in the packed lunch vs school meals stakes.

milkyface · 29/09/2016 21:04

YANBU I'm actually dreading this stage and ds is only 5 months!

I'd get it if school dinners weren't unhealthy crap with a pudding every day.

But they are aren't they. A 2 inch milkyway isn't going to make a child obese.

Some people are being ridiculous and its the ones who restrict their kids diets to brown rice and veg and nowt else who get rebellious teenagers who will only eat pizza and chocolate.

Everything in moderation as they say.

RiverTam · 29/09/2016 21:12

School dinners at DD's school arent unhealthy crap.

user1470041360 · 29/09/2016 21:18

This makes me laugh. No chocolate bars but hot lunches have ice cream, choc muffin,cornflake cake,other varieties of cake . Oh the fucking irony

Bestthingever · 29/09/2016 21:19

Sorry milkyface where do you get your information from that school dinners are unhealthy crap? I work in a school and I'm in the dinner hall every day. I can assure youthey are perfectly balanced meals and far better for children than the average lunchbox. What is sad is how many children hate eating vegetables.

user1470041360 · 29/09/2016 21:20

Rivertam , i worked on school dinners. The puddings are as i listed above

Ontopofthesunset · 29/09/2016 21:28

School meals have to follow very strict guidelines and are not unhealthy e.g. salt and sugar levels are imposed. The puddings are frequently fruit based and very low in sugar compared to confectionery. For example, the school I work with has beetroot in the chocolate pudding and courgettes in one of the other cakey type desserts - and of course carrots in the carrot cake.

The government has put in place strict guidelines as to what should be in a packed lunch so schools are following those. If you're so desperate to give your child a Milky Way you can do so as soon as they leave the school gates. It's only one meal of the day and you have free rein to feed your child what you want for all the meals and snacks they're not in school.

Optimist3 · 29/09/2016 21:29

I don't know why you'd choose to establish a habit of eating crap daily. Why not choose a more nutritional treat at least?

Bluepowder · 29/09/2016 21:29

As a dinner lady the packed lunches seem to start off full of fruit and veg in reception and then travel a downward curve toward year 6. We don't police lunchboxes at all- there isn't time. Though I have seen some dire things. Not sure why parents feel the need to include sweets in a packed lunch.