School lunchbox police

[gertyglossop]

My 4 year old daughter came home from school today and informed me that Miss X, her teacher, doesn't like it when children have chocolate in their lunchbox. She was visibly worried about it.

I have been packing her a fun sized (2 inch) Milky Way bar every day this week (last week it was mini ginger bread men, and some other small treat the week before). She also takes a wholemeal sandwich, small packet of savoury snacks and a piece of fruit. She knows that she must eat the sandwich and fruit before she eats the treat.

AIBU to resent:

A. The implication that I, as the parent, am unable to make suitable food choices for my child?

B. The complaint being made to my 4 year old child, rather than to me?

Schools can and should control what THEY provide to children. They also have a duty to educate the children about healthy eating, although I dispute that schools actually get this right.
Schools overstep when they start to police children's lunchboxes and dictate what a parent feeds their child.
Educate, appeal to sound nutritional principles, avoid the crass hypocrisy of serving school dinners with chocolate sponge pudding but banning chocolate in packed lunches, and then step back from interfering with a parent's choices for their child.
A one size fits all recipe for healthy eating is detrimental to some children.
What is deemed unhealthy for one child is quite possibly exactly what another child needs. Not every child is overweight and in need of calorie reduction. Fruit is high in sugars and may be the opposite to what one child needs. It's entirely possible that an underweight child needs more calorific food.

My children are naturally skinny despite being fantastic eaters with ridiculously adventurous palates. If someone removed food from their lunchboxes it would be the opposite of what they need. (They do school dinners, so moot point)

Is chocolate really crap? What's wrong with a small amount daily? Okay, so it's high in sugar, but it has milk and cocoa in too..I'm so confused about what's healthy these days. My BMI is 19 and my doctor told me not to lose weight (trying a new medication). I normally have a small chocolate bar a day. I don't like to eat large meals or feel overfull. Is this really unhealthy? . Surely one has to take into account a person's whole diet?

chocolate is ok - once in a while as a treat, not every day.

I prefer it to other sweets as it's (usually) quite pure. with only a short list of ingredients.

Okay, well, someone explain why it is unhealthy to eat chocolate everyday? And what it could be replaced with?

Arghhh to this!!! My sons school have this 'no chocolate or sweets' policy.. irrelevant to us as he prefers hot dinners... with chocolate fudge cake, gingerbread men and lemon meringue offered for pudding. double standards haha!

My middle sons lunches are free at the moment but if I had to pay and they were including similar treats I wouldn't expect to be told off for a 2 inch piece of chocolate.

If the school serve healthy food only then fair enough to expect parents to keep in line with that.

That's the problem with the lunchbox police. If they suspect the child with a bar of chocolate in their lunchbox is being fed a really poor diet at home, then removing a small bar of chocolate is not really going to make a significant difference. Whereas if the child has a largely healthy diet, the small bar of chocolate won't do them any harm anyway. Which begs the question - to exactly whom is this pettiness and hypocritical judgment actually making a useful difference? It just creates embarrassment on the part of the child and bad feeling between the parent and the school. If a child has a lunchbox full of awful unhealthy crap, that's different and the school should speak to the parents, (possibly after taking a long hard look at their own school lunch menu), not confiscate stuff from the child.

My dc have chocolate nearly every day in their lunchbox - sometimes it will be replaced by a small muffin or a packet of quavers, but most of the time it's a small chocolate bar - penguin or viscount etc.

Occasionally on a Friday we stop at the corner shop on the way to school and they go in and choose their own as a treat so end up having a full size crunchie or Kit Kat Chunky

I couldn't give two hoots that it's nutritionally void. They have a meat or egg wholemeal wrap or sandwich, a couple of sticks of cheddar or a piece of brie, large tub of assorted mixed salad sticks, natural yoghurt and a tub of blueberries. A chocolate for dessert is just fine with me when they're clearing that first.

Some yogurts, smoothies, cereal bars etc which are considered healthy and acceptable often have as much sugar as a small snack bar.

I agree that treats and fuzzy drinks should not be permitted but the notion of what is healthy is misguided in schools. They do not see the whole picture just a little bit.

Also jumping up and down about a tiny chocolate bar is daft when my DD comes out at least once a week with some sticky chewy bar or lolly given out by a birthday child in the class.

Fizzy drinks

Chocolate every day is excessive though No it's not, I have chocolate every day, some have wine every day.

I think in the real world, a 2inch milky way each day is hardly excessive. Be in a lunch box or at another time! If schools give guidance we kind of have to follow it, but i think the comment should have not been to the 4 yr old - they clearly don't make th elunch!

I assume that all those suggesting a daily treat is excessive that have kids who eat 'healthy' foods only? There is a boy in ds1's class who is not allowed refined sugars on 'normal days'. He can't have school puddings and has natural yoghurt instead.......His mum tends to drop him off for birthday parties and he goes BONKERS when any kind of treats are produced. Even more so than the rest if them. I worry for him once he has a bit more freedom.

My ds1 is 5, skinny, active, eats fruit/veg/wholegrains etc. he has school lunches and they often have a cooked pudding, plus after school he gets a couple of biscuits/choc rice cakes/malt loaf or similar. Most of us had the same as kids, and esp those of us with fairly on the ball parents in terms o fbalance, have survived so far!

....i like a little bit of chocolate in the evenings watching tv, as does dh. neither of us are overweight and are fit and healthy. I can't really see anything wrong with this!

Imagining todays lunchbox police inspecting what my mum used to send us with...

Penguin bar (or other random biscuit). Sandwich, usually ham or hotdog. Packet of crisps. Munch bunch yoghurt. Piece of fruit.

She redeemed herself with a bottle of water though instead of juice

Gertyglossop you are doing great and obviously put a lot of thought and care into the balanced nutrition you provide to DD. If school does not have a clear policy you can only use your own (well reasoned) judgement. I'm sure she the teacher commented there were plenty of much worse offenders in the classroom than your DD's mini milky way. I agree if it is an issue it is the parents/carers that need a clear communication not the 4yr olds.

one fun size chocolate bar per day doesn't exactly sound heinous, to be honest. it isn't as though you are putting a litre of coke in her lunchbox each day. i really think some schools need to choose their battles wisely. banning treats outright at school could lead to a child gorging on them when school is over. (ok, maybe not so much at 4, but an older child might). i had the main meal at school and so ate sensibly there but on the way home as soon as i was old enough to have pocket money i was raiding the local sweet shops! mind you, i have always been a little piggy when it comes to chocolate!

May be an unpopular opinion but I think YABU OP. It winds me up when my kids come home moaning about their healthy packed lunches because other children have crisps and chocolate every day. There's no need for children to eat chocolate every day, it's not healthy for them to do so, and giving them the habit is irresponsible parenting IMO.

There's no need for children to eat chocolate every day, it's not healthy for them to do so, and giving them the habit is irresponsible parenting IMO

You may find if you restrict it too much now, they may be unable to regulate themselves with treats when they get older. Lighten up a bit, especially if they are complaining about it

So what would people suggest as a healthy, portable, not-too-expensive high calorie food for kids/people who need to maintain/gain weight?

This is yet another reason I am happy my children are now all in secondary school.

I debated these sort of " rules " with the primary school several times. I know the teacher found it a headache when I did as I made several valid points (I for example objected to them using the phrasing " good food and bad food") additionally a teacher told me several times she would happily eat my childrens lunch boxes. Another told me about a year after than on Ofsted inspection she had ensured my childrens lunch boxes was near where she knew that particular ofsted inspector would look for lunches.

My main objection always was the discrepancy between lunch boxes and school meals.

The interesting thing with all of this is I now have children in 3 different secondary schools. Not one of them have issues with the school dinners. ALL of mine went of school dinners at primary level telling me the food was awful. I later learnt from a parent who worked in the school as a dinner lady she had taken her child of as she was appalled at the school dinners. -I was not aware of this at the time..

OP I think it is a good idea to go speak with the teacher and ask what has happened - my dd is a bit worried about you saying you dont like chocolate in lunch boxes - type conversation. However sadly yes this is the start of many of these types of conversations. I will also say often the school is wanting to do the right thing by the children who needs this, however the children where a balanced diet is a reality will be the ones where it will cause issues for.

Mine have access to chocolate and winegums every day if they want it. They do not eat it every day. I am convinced this is because I have never limited it to a " only on special occasions" but made it a part of a normal diet one of those foods we can eat a small amount of when we would like. Just not one of those foods that are going to bulk us up and make us healthy.

As for fillings.. well dd1 has several she ha almost no emanal on her teeth a hereditary condition she has from my father. Her 3 younger siblings 1 has a "filling" from where she broke her tooth the other 2 are fine..

However it is really not as simple as saying " no fillings" many other things are a part of that.

I love - I would give for a school trip pack lunch something portable like:

2 cold cooked sausages with small pot houmous to dip, some cubes cheese, some sticks of cucumber and carrot, some Greek yogurt with fruit and pumpkin seeds thrown in.
Everything just decanted from bigger pots or chopped so cheaper

2 cold cooked sausages with small pot houmous to dip, some cubes cheese, some sticks of cucumber and carrot, some Greek yogurt with fruit and pumpkin seeds thrown in

I think my dc would be utterly miserable eating just that for lunch tbh. Ds1 especially wouldn't find it filling enough...there are no carbs!

my 5 year old has school dinners which include a daily dessert of ice cream or cake, which is loaded with sugar. But those taking packed lunches can't include a cake. Weird.

Why? It's a filling meal as lots of protein and fats.
They usually have carbs at breakfast (porridge ) and dinner so don't need all day. Ds1 can't eat bread or pasta so would have to take something like a rice dish or potato otherwise anyway

I like the yoghurt and seeds idea - will have to pick some up. Out of interest, do schools allow dried fruit these days?

my 5 year old has school dinners which include a daily dessert of ice cream or cake, which is loaded with sugar

How do you know it's loaded with sugar? Have you ever tasted school cake? I can't even eat ours, it has so little sugar.